David You译手帐英语读书
单身生活，起起落落。
毫无疑问，有时候单身比将就好太多。
单身的日子，可能是生命中唯一的，想做什么就做什么的日子。
1
Please be as weird as me.
Please be as weird as me.
Please be as weird as me.
-Me every time I meet someone
求他和我一样是怪咖
求他和我一样是怪咖
求他和我一样是怪咖
——每次遇到有感觉的人，我都默念……
2
I’m worried that I may have already met the man of my dreams.
But probably told him to fuck off.
我担心
我早就遇见了我的白马王子
好像我让他滚蛋了......
3
Guys I find attractive:
Famous.
Taken.
Twice my age.
Don’t know I exist.
Not real.
我喜欢的类型：
—名人
—已有主
—年龄比我大一倍
—不知道我的存在
—不是现实中的人
4
It's like boys are the Oscar, and I’m Leonardo Dicaprio.
对我来说
男孩们就像奥斯卡奖
而我就是小李子
5
What if I got a boyfriend?
I wouldn’t know what to do...
What do they eat?
How often do they have to be walked?
如果有了男票要肿么办?
我完全造啊...
男票吃啥食物?
需要多久遛一次呢?
6
Just because I don’t have a boyfriend.
It doesn’t mean I’m alone.
I have food and the Internet.
没有男票
并不代表我孤单
我有好吃的
我还有歪怀
（乱入熊……）
7
Who am I shaving for?
刮毛......
刮毛线……给谁看?
8
Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won’t text me.
我喜欢的，
不是买不起，
就是能长膘，
或者不鸟我……
9
I’m single by choice.
Not my choice, but still a choice.
单身是一种选择。
虽然不是我选的
但也是一种选择……
10
Relationship status: Eating.
感情状态：吃吃吃
11
Everyone’s getting a boyfriend and you know what I’m getting?
Fatter.
别人全都有男票了
我只有肉肉……
12
I really really really love my boyfriend cat.
我真的真的真的很爱我男票
的喵
13
My boyfriend is like square root of -1.
Imaginary
我的男票就像负1的平方根
虚无缥缈……
（女博士脱口而出：虚数i）
14
How to get a boyfriend:
1. I have absolutely no idea.
2. Cry.
如何有个男票：
1. 我根本不造……
2. 呜呜呜……
15
Dear future husband,
I hope you’re a good cook.
亲爱的未来老公：
你可一定要会做好吃哒!
作者Lingvistov
转载自Bored Panda, 原网页：
https://www.boredpanda.com/single-girls-problems-advantages-illustrations-livingstov/
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