Really worried about my depression, this feeling coming up stronger and stronger, and very similer to the feeling I had five years ago, and that's why i'm afraid of that. I really cannot believe anyone worked until 11 or 12pm from Mon to Fri, never answered my call because of low battery. Every word is a exeuse, cannot persuade myself, cannot persuade anyone.
Recently, I love watch the a drama called “ordinary days", which is a story happened to an ordinary family in Beijing in 1980s. That's the "family" i dreamed. Love, respect, helpful and hopeful.
Look what i got, separated parents, terrible balance sheet, lonely home, dead end career. Life is hopeless. I tried a lot to find the meaning of my life, but failed. Forgive me being so desperated. All my passion has gone since the wedding "ceremony" five years ago, not my fault, It was a miracle that I did not crash till today.
Forgive me, if I lost myself, I do try my best to live in this world.
The world is so wonderful, can i really bear to give up?
