For a long time, I pondered what kind of ending is suitable for these 16 articles, a funny one or a hasty one? However, neither is consistent with my attitude towards writing. I happened to have a long chat with my friend at home last night. I told my friend my thoughts about the secret crush over the past years. So, in the last article, I would like to express my thoughts at this moment in English.
Just two days after returning to school, I found that my wound was inflamed again. So, I rushed to home for a rest. I had a long chat with my friend at home last night. This chat dispelled all of my emotional entanglements. As he said, the answer had been in my mind long before, though I was unwilling to accept it. My friend also mentioned things about himself last night. These things were also painful to me. Immediately, I thought of someone that can make me happy. There are two extreme choices available for me: one makes me extremely happy, and the other one makes me extremely sad. At that moment, I truly let it go, because I decided to choose the one who makes me extremely happy. Previously, I was trapped in the endless loop of love for the one who makes me self-abased and unhappy all the time. Is he worth my love that makes me so degraded now? Why did I become so self-abased because of such a person? It’s never wrong to have a secret crush on someone. However, I should say sorry to myself for what I am like now.
I remember when I entered college, I have told myself not to love others secretly anymore because it is a painful experience. But I still ended up with secretly love. I knew clearly that we are impossible, so I decided to hide my affection deeply in my heart. I have a clear estimation of myself, knowing that I am not worthy of him. The feeling of love somebody secretly is so painful. I have always told myself that I could let it go, and it was only a matter of time. But then I found that I was actually refuse to let it go because I just could not bear it. My friends said to me that it was hard to let it go, trying to persuade me to come out of the shadow earlier. They said that I should overcome the sense of inferiority now, and if I always feel that I'm not good enough, then I should expose my biggest weakness, overcome it, and make myself better! If I have the ability to like others, why can't I get the ability to let others like me? They are right. I am very grateful for their encouragement during this period! Probably I am really tired now, and even if I like him very much, I have to let it go.
Time is up! Everything should end with this writing. The past is to be gone after all. I should go on with accomplishing my own tasks with a new look. Goodbye, this unrequited love, a love with bitterness but no sweetness.
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