Today,I just attended a wedding about my senior fellow apprentice during the graduate student .The wedding is great in traditional ways. But,It was boring to me .My dreams about the wedding and marriage  is dashed  after attending lot of my friends' wedding.

I am scared.I just don't believe anyone want to know me and love me.I think it is very hard for me to have a boy friend.I even seriously thought about my future alone.

I am not to refuse any chance to be happiness,but i'm afraid t+o be refused again and again ,I just cannot suffer the blows.I don't want somebody to tell me that I am not good enough in this way.So,i would rather do everything myself.