20190215晚上9点40分，10分钟，老师《21天提升幸福感正念冥想疗愈》第九课-不要去听思维和念头，只用耳朵纯粹聆听
冥想前
早上起来装车准备回深圳装了一整车东西，基本都是吃的，装了一个多小时吧。当写下这行字的时候突然觉察到，我对吃还是这么热衷呢，吃都还没有超脱，转念一想连吃都可以忽略的不是少了很多美好体验吗？所以接受如是的自己就是最好的修行。
下午到表姐开的小店，表姐和我从小感情很好，她一直都很辛苦地做生意，婆家的人因为她没有生下儿子一直不是特别待见她，听妈妈说她也活得很苦很委屈，因为姐夫也强势，表面有尊重，私下或者有嫌弃吧，不然不会很大声地说她，她只能流泪。所以我也突然来灵感帮她出了几个主意来改善生意。希望表姐今年生意红火！
晚上和弟弟聊到开店做生意，弟弟对做生意热度并不高，没有钻下去的精神，妈妈在旁边干着急，我也有些操心的。然而我也意识到一个成年人想不想创业闯一闯基本得靠自己的主观能动性，其他人多说影响不大。或者找到他在意的价值，这个得他配合才能去探索。我也觉察到自己有继承母亲的模式，习惯操别人的心，习惯叫别人做事业。
《爱与性的秘密》分享14
代际传递 如何避免重复父母的亲密互动方式如何不去重复我们在父母身上看到的模式，或者不要重复和父母相处的模式？ 那这些是什么模式呢？我们在自己身上能看到很多父母的影子，奇怪的是，即便我们可能没有在父母身边长大，但是一部分的你内化了你的母亲，另一个部分的你内化了你的父亲，因为我们除了通过观察来学习，没有其他的方式可以让我们学习，我们就是社会型生物，没有努力和决心这种改变也无法发生，但是我有一个好消息是，你绝对可以改变这个模式的。如何不去重复我们在父母身上看到的模式，或者不要重复和父母相处的模式？ 孩子会做的其中一个事情就是去复制自己的父母，因为那就是我们所学习到的，但是在那个更深层之下是忠诚，我们会做父母跟我们说的一切，因为我们相信这是在尊重父母，这是忠诚于父母，如果我们不听父母的话，那就是对父母的背叛。我们重复过去并且伤害了自己，也伤害和我们在一起的人，当我们意识到自己的模式时，第一件你要做的事情就是辨别出这个模式来，这个模式是什么？不仅是改变这个行为，而且是改变这个信念，以及潜在行为背后的态度。
冥想后Just like with the body and our breathing, our senses are in the present moment. You feel what you are touching in the present, not yesterday or tomorrow. You hear, see, taste and smell in the present. AAnd our senses are our connection to a feeling of aliveness. The more someone is in touch with their senses, the more they enjoy life, and the more alive they feel and seem. People in touch with their senses are very alive – their eyes are shiny, they smile and laugh, and they know how to really enjoy the simple pleasures of life.We all had that ability when we were younger. Look at very small children and you will see how alive they are, with shiny eyes seeing everything as new, enjoying playing with small stones or sea-shells as if they were precious jewels, running across the grass or on the beach with bare feet, laughing. But then slowly our education started teaching us to ‘think, don’t feel’, and we began to live in our minds and lost touch with our senses, our aliveness, our joy in life.Rather than experience our senses directly, our minds started to interpret what our senses were experiencing. We began to put labels onto everything – ‘I like that’, ‘I know that’, ‘I don’t like that’. And the mind always interprets what we are experiencing according to its memories, its old records. So it doesn’t allow us to experience the reality of the present moment. But in fact, our senses actually connect to a different part of the brain than the mind. Usually you only notice this when there is danger – instinctively when your body senses danger, for example another car about to cut in front of your car, or your child running out into the street without looking, then your body reacts before you have had time to think. Isn’t that so? Only later does the mind come in and interpret and comment on the danger. In the moment of danger you are just totally alert and in your senses. And very alive!Meditation techniques are a way to reconnect to our senses without having to be in a dangerous situation. Technique: Bathe in the Center of SoundThis is another tantric technique. It uses the sense of listening. Make sure you are sitting or lying comfortably, and will not be disturbed for the next ten minutes.HomeworkPractice listening. Listening is not hearing. We hear a lot of sounds, but we don’t really listen to them because we are so busy listening to the thoughts in our mind.Whenever you have a spare moment, just stop, take a deep breath, and listen to the sounds around you. Notice the nearby sounds and the far away sounds. Try not to comment on them (the mind will always try and comment), just feel the sounds entering into you, and follow them inside.Just close your eyes and try to find the most subtle sound around you. A bird maybe - just concentrate yourself on that bird's sound. Maybe there are also a lot of other sounds happening – traffic, peoples’ voices… you focus your attention (without getting tense) on that very subtle sound, which you can hardly hear. And notice that as you focus your awareness towards it, the traffic and other closer noises will go far away and the noise of the bird will become the center. And the more you practice, the more you will hear, all the nuances of those subtle sounds which you never took note of before. Now you will be able to hear them.In the beginning it is easier to practice with sounds you like. Otherwise the mind will be too disturbed. But slowly, as you get the knack, you will also be able to practice with sounds that usually annoy you. And this is a great learning – how not to be disturbed by what is happening around you!Try not to judge the sounds – the mind will say, ‘this is pleasant’, or ‘I dont like this sound’. Notice that. And bring your attention back to simply listening without any comment. The sound is there, and you are listening. That’s all.
