初次听说《关键对话》这本书是在唐老师的SPS课上(没有错,金花近期对知识如饥似渴),听惯了鸡汤的我没有放在心上,直到同事的分享才发现自己错过了什么。立即下单购买阅读
拿到此书,才发现跟销售行业的鸡血文章完全不同,适合各种行业乃至家庭,看完就给老公看,老公居然还读给闺女听。
书中所指的关键对话指的是那些观点迥异、充满风险、双方表现出激烈情绪的对话。就是说快谈崩了……回想一下,我们有多少次的冲动变魔鬼,破坏了家庭、伤害了孩子?书中用一个个的例子帮我们分析了如何从崩溃的边缘拯救一次谈判。
读了此书后,当快崩溃时,能我尽量使自己冷静下来,回想书中提到的关键点:这次谈话的目的是什么,又怎样让对方放下戒心,毫无压力的和我展开沟通。
当然 对于急脾气的我来说,冲动的时候很多,但是我已经可以尽量压下自己的脾气,心平气和的跟老公聊 跟闺女谈。比如当老公(东北纯爷们暴脾气)义愤填膺时,我会心平气和的跟他讨论他的目的,想要达到的效果,然后分析原因,让他知道我是从他的角度出发解决问题。这就是对话的关键:认同感 安全感。营造共同的观点,从“心”开始,让对方畅所欲言,并控制自己不恰当的想法,循循善诱,切忌独断专行,注意倾听并了解对方的动机,最后才开始采取行动达到想要的结果。以前的我当观点不一致的时候往往采取沉默冷战的方式,以至于情况更加恶化。对女儿则是大发雷霆,暴力镇压。现在的我可以倾听老公的陈述分析问题,也能做女儿的忠实听众让他畅所欲言,这都是此书的力量!所以极力推荐科里这本《Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High 关键对话》
最后送给大家一首罗伯特·弗罗斯特的小诗《未走过的路》
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN –Robert Frost
罗伯特•弗罗斯特
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh,I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood,and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
金色的树林,前路分成两股,
可惜我不能兼顾。
我站立良久,形影孤独,
远远眺望它们向远处延伸,
直到转入树林深处。
岁月流逝,将来的某时某处,
我会在叹息中想起:
两条路在林间分开,而我——
选择了人迹罕至之途,
从那一刻起,一切差别已成定铸。(译文不全)