Change

As a mother , the most headache thing is that how to help child build a good habit and change her behavior. As a team leader, I also want to help my colleage to change their behavior in a positive way .

But the strategy i use always goes like this.

for example ,i try to stop my child from watching tv, I tell her ,honey, watching tv so much is bad for your eyes ,you might get the disease and wear glass like me ,and even so it can stop you from thinking ,you might grow foolish.

You see, what i am trying to do is i am trying to scare her into changing their behavior. And it’s not just for child ,sometime i scare myself ,when i don't want to do exeisece ,i will tell myself ,beware, you will be fat.

I think I am not the only one who do that.Warnings and threats are really common in our daily life  .It’s because we all share this deep-rooted belief that if you threaten people, if fear is induced, it will get them to act. And it seems like it's a really reasonable assumption.

but you see what' the result ? my child accept for a while ,and did very good in front of me ,but in front of her grandpa ,it doesn't work. She even debated；grandma always watches tv ,her eyes are good ,and she is smart as well .

what should i say?

warnings and threats sometimes has the limited impact.

so I try to analyse what i am thinking when i face the treats .

I find two points.one is that things doesn’t happen serously enough and drive me do the change immidietly.

another is that What’s the point about worrying about something that might happen? It might not happen in the futrue” for a child she even didn't know what does the foolish mean?

And when scare and streats come close to me I try to eliminate the negative feeling.

Sometimes even distort the image in our mind, like taking picutre ,we try to using Photoshop and fancy lenses, until it gets the image it’s happy with.

on the contray,our brain do a really good job at positive information ,like to hear the information we like to hear .

why i shouldn't reward ourselves and others now for behaving in ways that are good for us in the future .just high light the progress ,not the decline.

so i change my metherod .

I tell the child ,You know, if you control yourself watching tv ,instead ,learning some new words you'll get a shine star , all the stars you gains can transform the things you loved to have. Highlight the progress, not the decline.

That take effect . Because that was the immediate reward she can have ,and star tell her “You’re doing good,” when she got one ,she can see the opportunity there to get two shining stars.

Not watiching tv becomes associated with a reward, and learning becomes associated with a reward, and for a long time, it becomes a habit, it becomes a lifestyle. That will show her the progress she made throughout the year.

when i find this .

and i also use this method to motive myself ,for a month i have been here for lots of reasons. When I prepare the speech i have lots of worries .and I didn't write my article since yesterday , because the negative feeling can't help me to write .and i remember the method i used on my child.

why i shouldn't reward myself now instead of" tonight's success", yeah maybe(hah)

so i image that all of you sit down give me big claps and the president decalre that the best speaker is lily ,right? that inspird me ,and begin to pracitse again and again.

So what i say is that we 'd like to choose something sure now rather than something that is unsure in the future.

And if we want to motivate change, we might rethink how to do it, because fear, the fear of losing your health, the fear of losing money, reduces action, we can try some positive strategies rather than threats.