每个人都在追求快乐美好的生活,有没有发现你周围不少人是完美主义者，因为完美成就了梦想，也因为完美错失了很多，纠结于很多东西，过于追求完美而生活不快乐。
作为一个同样完美倾向的人,经常遇到这样的问题。
Everyone is in the pursuit of happy life,did you found that many people around you are perfectionist?People achieve their dreams because of perfectionism,but also missed a lot of chance because of perfectionism,they tangled in a lot of things, too much of perfectionism makes life unhappy.
As a person with the same perfect tendency,i often encounter same problems.
完美主义是把双刃剑，分为以下两种：
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword,separated to two kinds as following
1消极的完美主义Perfectionism(Negative perfectionism)
消极的完美主义者是比较不适应的和比较神经质的。拒绝人的本性，拒绝失败，拒绝情感，拒绝成功，拒绝现实。
Negative perfectionists are less inadaptive and more neurotic.They reject to be human, reject failure, reject emotion, reject success, and reject reality.
●拒绝人的本性，以为人的快乐一直都是要很快乐的，其实痛苦是人类不可避免的一部分，拒绝痛苦的情感最终就是拒绝我们人类这部分，拒绝自己是人的本性。为了充分体会人类的情感，我们必须承认我们是人的本性。
Refuse to be human,and thought people who are happy should always be happy, in fact, painful emotions are an inevitable part of the experience of being human,and therefore regecting them is ultimately regecting part of our humanity.To lead a full range of human emotions.In other words,we need to give ourselves the permission to be human.
●拒绝失败，因此害怕失败不敢去做自己想做的事情，没有勇气坚持，因此放弃自己想要达到的目标，失败了就一蹶不振，被失败打败。
Refuse failure and do not dare to do what they want because of being afraid of failure, no courage to stick to it,and give up the goal that want to achieve, depressed and defeated when failed.
●拒绝成功，如果结果超过了原来的期望，比如本来期望的是80分，结果达到了120分甚至更多，这时有一种自我摧毁倾向，没有适应这个结果，不相信或者不敢接受于是回归到原来80分的安全舒适区。
Refuse success, if the result exceeded the expectation, such as if the expectation is 80 points, the result reached 120 points or even higher, then there is tendency of self-destruction, you did not adapt to this result, do not believe it is true or afraid to accept the result,So go back to safe and comfortable zone of 80 points.
●拒绝现实，没有看清楚现状，容易掉入完美主义的陷阱，有不切实际的想法。
比如朋友说，他逛了一天的街，上百家店，结果想买的东西什么也没买到。还有朋友说，客户要求这个产品不能出现这种问题，于是就要求工厂照做,百分之百不能出现这个问题。结果工厂做不到,差点无法合作。
Reject the reality,that you do not see the current situation,and easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism with unrealistic ideas.
For example, a friend said he went shopping,visited hundreds of stores,but did not buy anything that he wanted to buy. There are also friends said his customer require product without certain kind of problem, so they asked the factory to do so,but the factory can not do as one hundred percent perfect. They almost cancel the cooperation.
2最佳的积极的完美主义者Optimalism(Positive perfectionism)
积极的完美主义者比较适合和健康的,她们接受失败，接受情感，接受成功，接受现实。
Positive perfectionists are more adaptive and healthy, they accept failure, accept emotions, accept success, accept reality.
●接受失败，不会害怕失败，认为失败是人之常情，允许犯错，从失败中吸取教训，失败是成功之母。
Accept failure, they are not in fear of failure, failure is part of human life, allowing mistakes, learn from the failure, failure is the mother of success.
●接受情感,接受负面情绪的存在，比如痛苦，悲伤，内疚，烦恼等
Accept emotions, accept the existence of negative emotions, such as pain, sadness, guilt,worry etc.
●接受成功和现实，最佳的完美主义是她们仍然设置高目标，但她们的目标是基于现实可实现的，当她们实现了目标，她们感到很满意和开心
The optimalist accept success and reality,they also set extremely high standard,but their standards are attainable because they are grounded in reality.When they meet their goals,they appreciate their success and take times to experience gratitude for their accomplishments.
3改变自己，过富有快乐生活
我们可以通过一些实践方法，一步步慢慢改变。我们每个人都有幸福的潜力，愿你做一个合理的完美主义者，拥有更加快乐和成功人生。
We can do some practice, slowly change ourselves step by step. Each of us has the potential for happiness, may you be aoptimalist, have a more happy and successful life.
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