来源: https://www.bbc.co.uk
Some people seem blessed with the ability to effortlessly charm anyone they meet. They can start a conversation with a complete stranger and end up with a new friend. How do they do it?
有些人仿佛上天的宠儿，不费吹灰之力就能吸引遇到的任何一个人的目光。他们可以与一个完全陌生的人展开对话，最后陌生人变新朋友。他们是怎么做到的呢？
It might seem like a magical power, but in fact there are a number of factors at work. So, can you learn to develop your charm? To a large extent, yes you can.
这似乎是一种神奇的魔力，但实际上有许多因素在其中起了作用。那么，我们能学着怎么去提升自己的魅力吗？很大程度上，答案是肯定的。
But first, the bad news. Scientists have found that people initially judge each other based purely on physical appearance. With just a glimpse of a face, people make hurry judgements about each other's likeability and trustworthiness.
但首先，有一个坏消息。科学家发现，人们初遇时会只根据外表来衡量彼此。只一瞥，人们就迅速地得出结论：对对方有无好感？对方值不值得信赖？
How to offset this? There's one incredibly simple tool: your smile. People perceive a smiling face as "more trustworthy, warmer and sociable". Smile and others will smile with you.
如何抵消这种影响呢？办法非常简单，微笑就行了。人们看到别人的笑脸，会认为对方 “更值得信赖，更温暖友善”。你笑对他人，他人也会笑脸相迎。
What other tricks might we have? Former FBI agent Jack Schafer has been trained in how to influence people. He told BBC: "Our brains are always surveying the environment for friend or foe signals."
还有其他技巧吗？美国联邦调查局前特工Jack Schafer受过培训，如何去影响他人。他告诉BBC：“我们的大脑总是在环境中的观测信号，以判断对方是敌是友。”
Three things we can do to signal that we are not a threat are to: raise our eyebrows quickly, tilt our heads slightly, and, once again, to smile.
（与陌生人交谈时）做这三个动作可以表明自己不具恶意：快速扬眉，稍微倾斜头部，然后，对，还是要微笑。
So we've looked at body language, but of course what you say is hugely important too. Schafer recommends that "the golden rule of friendship is if you make people feel good about themselves, they're going to like you."
以上，我们研究了肢体语言，但我们说话内容也非常重要。Schafer建议：“友谊的黄金法则是，让对方对他们自己感觉良好，这样他们会喜欢你。”
In other words, you need to show interest in them, instead of talking about yourself and all your achievements.
换句话说，你需要表现出对他们有兴趣，而不是只谈论自己和自己过往的所有成就。
Another way to form a connection? Find common ground. Simple things like asking where someone's from can open up a discussion and allow you to find areas in common.
建立联系的另一种方式是找到共同点。比如说问问对方是哪里的人，这类话题可以让你与对方展开聊天，进而找到双方的共同爱好。
