1 The Problem of Identity Normally, people don't ask themselves, Who am I?

——2023.12.19 开始读这本书。昨天在团体里还说起Who am I ? 今年这一年我都在拼图Who  am  I ? 突然间有一种感觉是身体可以把我们带往意识很深的地方，而在那里，我们可以更多的理解自己，理解自己的生命。在买的很多Lowen的书里想着看哪一本，最后决定开始看《The  Betrayal of  the  Body》这本。这本书写的是什么不得而知，就是顺着自己的感觉来吧。半年的时间和它在一起。

One's identity is taken for granted.Each person carries in his wallet papers that serve to identify him.Consciously, he knows who he is. However, below the surface a problem of identity exists. On the border of consciousness he is disturbed by dissatisfactions,uneasy about decisions, and tormented by the feeling of “missing out” on life.

——我在想，我们不知道我是谁，是头脑和身体分离的太久了。头脑没有办法理解身体的发生，而当和身体失联的时候，身份的认同就会出现分裂。读到这里，感觉到头脑和身体好像被分割为两个部分，不能有效的整合统一。

He is in conflict with himself, unsure of his feelings, and his insecurity reflects his problem of identity. When dissatisfaction becomes despair and insecurity verges on panic an individual may ask himself, Who am I?

——我在尝试Lowen所描述的情形，就我此刻的理解。和自己有冲突，不确定自己的感觉；不安全感接近了恐慌。这些好像都在描述和身体发生的一种感觉。头脑不理解身体所以会产生冲突，而不理解又会让安全的体验更加恐惧。

This question indicates that the facade through which a person seeks identity is crumbling. The use of a facade or the adoption of a role as a means to achieve identity denotes a split between the ego and the body. I define this split as the schizoid disturbance which underlies every problem of identity.

——自我和身体之间的分裂，我的画面里有一个人从脖子那里截断，头脑是头脑的，身体是身体的瘦弱的样子。

For example, a famous artist walked into my office and said, “I am confused and desperate. I don't know who I am. I walk down the street and ask myself, Who are you?”

——who am i 各个学科生命的终极问题，我突然能感受到这个艺术家头脑和身体的失联，找不到自己的痛苦。

It would have been meaningless to reply, “You are the well-known painter whose work hangs in many museums.” He knew that. What he complained of was a loss of the fecling of self, the loss of contact with some vital aspect of existence that gives meaning to life.This missing element was an identification with the body, the foundation upon which a personal life is erected. My artist patient became actively aware of this missing element in a dramatic experience.He told me:

——

The other day I looked in the mirror, and I became frightened when I realized it was me.I thought, This is what people see when they look at me.

——“有一天，我照了照镜子，就吓坏了。当我意识到那是我自己时，我想，这就是当他们看着我时，人们所看到的。”这个体验是一样一样的……省略

The feeling of identity stems from a feeling of contact with

the body. To know who one is, an individual must be aware of what he feels.He should know the expression on his face, how he holds himself, and the way he moves.Without this awareness of bodily feeling and attitude, a person becomes split into a

disembodied spirit and a disenchanted body. I will return again to the case of the artist.

——身份感是源于一种与身体接触的感觉。这句话让那我可以更多的理解身体的重要性，如果分裂成了没有肉体的精神和没有灵魂的肉体，灵与肉是分离的。读到此刻，我在想灵与肉是分离的，那是多么难的联结在一起啊。整个人感觉是飘飘的。

As he sat opposite me, I saw his drawn face, his empty eyes, his tightly set jaw, and his frozen body.In his immobility and shallow breathing, I could sense his fear and panic.He, however, was not aware of the gauntness of his face, the blankness of his eyes, the tension in his jaw, or the tightness of his body. He did not feel his fear and panic.Being out of touch with his body, he only sensed his confusion and desperation.

坐在我对面时，我看到了他那，他的空眼睛，

——我在感受着Lowen的这段话——憔悴的脸、他紧紧的下巴、硬的身体、不动、呼吸浅、恐惧和恐慌、茫然眼睛、紧张下巴、紧绷的身体、恐惧和恐慌。我深深地体验到他所描述的状态，我和我自己的生命体验对照着。我在想着为了什么这本书叫身体的背叛,我现在猜测是不是身体没有呈现出原本的样子，它也没有做自己。

The complete loss of body contact characterizes the schizophrenic state. Broadly speaking, the schizophrenic doesn't know who he is, and is so much out of touch with reality that he cannot even phrase the question.

他完全失去身体接触是精神分裂症状态的特征。总的来说，这个精神分裂症患者并不知道自己是谁，而且他与现实非常脱节，因此他甚至无法表达这个问题。

The image was a stranger. My face and my body didn't seem to belong to me...I felt very unreal.

的确“这个形象是个陌生人。”我当时在想，这个是我吗？我是这样的吗？我是这样走路的吗？“觉得很不真实。” Lowen的书让我在自己这里拓展的特别的多，我在想犹如萨提亚里面的求生存的应对姿态一样，人格结构是也每个人或多或少都有其它的部分。

This experience, in which there is a loss of feeling of the body,with accompanying sensations of strangeness and unreality, is known

as a depersonalization. It denotes a break with reality and occurs in thefirst stages of a psychotic episode.If it continues, the person loses not

only the feeling of identity but also his conscious awareness of identity.Fortunately, this episode was short-lived in my patient. He was able to

reestablish some contact with his body, so that the feeling of unrealitydisappeared. However, his identification with his body remained tenuous,

and the problem of his identity persisted.

—我和Lowen的书太有联结了，生命怎么会如此的相遇呢？与身体的联结，找回身份认同的意识。我现在有一些能理解人格结构的魅力了，好像是在很深的地方与之相遇的感觉。