书面表达能力提升三部曲--“仿句、仿文、嬗变”

书面表达能力提升三部曲--“仿句、仿文、嬗变”


【引言】

最近的留言区,有很多老师都在问作文的训练方法,尤其是进入高三的老师更是心焦,学生存在“不想写、写不出、写不对、写不全、写不好”等诸多问题。那么怎么培养学生的写作能力,提升学生的书面表达成绩,就成为一个很值得商榷的问题。那么,教师亟待解决的就是学生“不想写、写不出和写不对”的问题。


“不想写”的主要原因无外乎:写作文太难、写作文太费时间、写作文见效太慢、写的句子错误太多,如此等等。

“写不出”和“写不对”主要是能力和水平的问题,这就牵涉到平时的语言输入、平时的语言实践、针对性的练习等。


那么首先教师就要帮助学生转变学生“作文费时、费事、不好写的”观念。从“我想写、我要写、我能写”入手,提高学生的写作兴趣、激发表达动机。具体来说,我们可以从“仿句”开始,降低写作难度,培养写作能力。


【仿句】

下面我以今天课堂上的一句话为例,说一下“仿句”的运用。

课堂上我首先引入了美国教育家杜威的一句名言:

If we teach today as we taught yesterday, then we rob our students of tomorrow.


然后,带领学生分析句子结构和词组运用,随后呈现我自己仿写的句子,让学生品读仿写的乐趣:

If we work today as we worked yesterday, then we rob ourselves of free time and joy of life.


然后,要求学生首先思考自己想要表达的汉语意思,再想办法用英语表达出来。

学生作品:

If we study today as we studied yesterday, then we rob ourselves of bright future.

If we study today as we studied yesterday, then we rob ourselves of self-confidence and motivation.

If we learn today as we learned yesterday, then we lose the chance to impvove ourselves and realize our dream.

If we walk on the road as we walked yesterday, then we miss the beautiful and attractive scenery.

If we live a lazy life as we lived yesterday, then we lose the opportunity to better ourselves.


在邀请3-5个学生展示了自己的仿句之后,就要求全体学生在自己的笔记本上整理出3-5个自己比较欣赏的句子,这样就实现了资源共享,智慧共生,也就在思考的过程中感悟了“仿句”魔力,领悟了语言学习的真谛,达到了“举一反三”的功效。久久为功,日积月累,写作能力自然也就得以培养,写作水平得以提升。自然,也就可以从根本上解决“不想写、写不出、写不对”的顽疾。


【仿文】

在突破了文章写作中“写不出、写不对”的问题后,紧接着要解决的就是“不会写、写不全”的问题。

“不会写和写不全”要先从教会学生审题切入。以2020年全国乙卷作文为例:

第二节书面表达(满分25分)

你校正在组织英语作文比赛。请以身边值得尊敬和爱戴的人为题,写一篇短文参赛,内容包括:1.人物简介;2.尊敬和爱戴的原因。注意:1. 词数100左右; 2. 短文题目和首句已为你写好。 The person I respectThere are many respectable people around us. ___

首先要领着学生一起就作文的命题要求进行解读,让学生抓住要求中的关键词,以免要点遗失。随后,要求学生尝试用汉语组织语言,写作100个左右的汉字作文,以帮助学生梳理文章结构。随后,让3-5位同学在班上分享自己的作文构思,让大家进行评判并调整自己的作文思路。然后,我提供了一篇阅读文章,让学生阅读并思考:文章中的相关内容和信息是否可以借用到我们的命题作文写作中来?

Making a Difference (冀教版七年级下册Unit3 School Life)


Hello. My name is Hao Tongxin. I live in a small village. I'm in Grade 7 and I love going to school.

My school is a “hope”school. Last year, I wanted to give up my studies. I wanted to stay home and help my family. But my teacher said, “With a good education, you can make a difference. You can make a good life for yourself. Then you can help your family, friends and other people, too.” She gave me hope.

My teacher is great. She often visits her students and their families. She does not want anyone to drop out of school. She always helps us in every possible way. She is making a big difference in our lives.

Now, I never miss a day of school. I want to make a difference in the future, just like my teacher.


然后带领学生就文本中的相关信息进行梳理,先用英语理清思路如下:

我们身边有很多值得尊敬的人,我中学的英语教师就是他们其中的一位。

当我刚进入初中的时候,我非常不适应,想要辍学回家帮助家长干农活。但是我的英语老师告诉我:只有接受了好的教育,我才能够自己有所改变,过上好日子,才能够帮助家人,惠及朋友和他人。我的老师全身心投入教学,她经常深入家访,不让任何一个学生错学,总是尽其可能的的帮助我们。对于我们的人生有了重大的影响。这就是我为什么尊敬她,一位平凡但是却充满爱的英语老师。


最后,布置的作业就是让同学生借助于该阅读文本,就统一话题进行写作。

There are many respectable people around us. My head teacher,who teaches English in a hope school, is one of them.

When I was admitted into Junior school, I wanted to give up my studies, stay home and help my family. But my teacher said, “With a good education, you can make a difference. You can make a good life for yourself. Then you can help your family, friends and other people, too.” She gave me hope.

My teacher is great. She often visits her students and their families. She does not want anyone to drop out of school. She always helps us in every possible way. She is making a big difference in our lives.

I want to make a difference in the future, just like my teacher. That is why I respect her so much.


【嬗变】

我们日常的作文训练,大多都是一次性的写作。写完了,老师批阅完了,评讲结束,也就意味着该次作文写作训练的结束。结果往往是,学生只有在考试时才进行作文写作,平时训练较少,且大多都是自己真实水平的“复现”,达不到“最近发展区”水平;教师虽“精改细讲”,仍逃避不了学生重视度不足,效果提升有限,错误反复出现,改进提升效果较差,与老师投入的实际精力相比,收效甚微。


针对以上种种情况,教师就可以采用同一话题,多次写作,从不同层面,不同角度,让学生进行反复多次练习,以帮助学生领悟语言真谛,洞悉写作规律,提升写作能力,实现“举一反三”。


下面仍以2020年全国乙卷高考命题作文为例:

第二节书面表达(满分25分)

你校正在组织英语作文比赛。请以身边值得尊敬和爱戴的人为题,写一篇短文参赛,内容包括:1.人物简介;2.尊敬和爱戴的原因。注意:1. 词数100左右; 2. 短文题目和首句已为你写好。 The person I respectThere are many respectable people around us. ___一、统一写作练习(仿写老师)There are many respectable people around us. My English teacher is one of them.When I was admitted into a “hope”school, I wanted to give up my studies. I wanted to stay home and help my family. But my teacher said, “With a good education, you can make a difference. You can make a good life for yourself. Then you can help your family, friends and other people, too.” She gave me hope.My teacher is great. She often visits her students and their families. She does not want anyone to drop out of school. She always helps us in every possible way. She is making a big difference in our lives.I want to make a difference in the future, just like my teacher. That is why I respect her so much.二、范文模仿写作(拓写父亲)We have a lot of respectable people around us. They may be our teachers, parents or one of our elders. As for me, my father is the person I respect most. My father is a teacher who loves his work and his students very much. He works very hard every day but he will also spare some time to accompany me and share many funny things with me about his work. When I come across the problems of learning in my study, my father will listen to me patiently and encourage me to overcome the difficulties bravely. He achieved a lot in his work, respected by his students. So, in my mind my father is the person I respect most and I love him deeply.三、自由发挥创作(突破创新)There are many respectable people around us. Some deserve our respect just because they devote themselves to their ordinary positions, like my uncle, an angel in white.My uncle is a surgeon in the local hospital. He often buries himself in his work and is busy with diagnoses and operations, which often take him so much time and energy that it is impossible for him to look after his family. Most movingly, facing fierce COVID-19, he volunteered to go to Wuhan in harm’s way without hesitation. Wearing thick protective suits, he headed for the wards, leaving a thin but tall figure behind.Such is my respectable uncle--an ordinary doctor who not only devotes his youth to his beloved career, but risks his life to save more people’s lives.

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