一. 问答
1. Why saying no is important? Have you had a hard time of turning down someone's request (for example, you wanted to say no, but what came out of your mouth was yes, and next day you kicked yourself for saying yes)? Please include a personal story.
Because to value something, we must reject what is not that something. That rejection is an inherent and necessary part of maintaining our values, and therefore our identity. We are defined by what we choose to reject.
我经常因为抹不开面子而不忍心说“不”，却把自己推向艰难的境地。我刚开始做场地音响和灯光设备的技术支持时，对灯光系统是毫无概念的。那时我迫切地想利用一切机会学习，只想尽快上手。可第一次重大活动，就正赶上我重感冒，发烧将近39度。领导说这次活动会有场外技术支持的灯光师在场，你最好不要请假。我说没问题。这是个利好的学习机会，生病不是打退堂鼓的理由。
活动结束时已将近凌晨十二点，灯光师提出来走之前想给我做个简单的培训，这样下次我就可以上手了。尽管当时我已经难受得完全不在状态了，体温也越来越高，可是自尊心作祟，我又没有拒绝，觉得他来一次也不容易。晕头晕脑地学了十几分钟，就算完成了初步培训。不久之后再遇到灯光设备的疑难问题时，培训方的负责人竟理直气壮地推脱，既然经过了培训，还解决不了这些问题就是我的责任了。恼火、冤枉等一切情绪过后，我知道，这不懒别人，怪我自己。
2. Why Saint Petersburg was one of Mark's favorite trips?
Because he like the Russian frankness and the unadulterated expression. In there, he doesn't need to smile at strangers or pretend to like anything he doesn't. And he learned to say whatever he thought or felt, without fear of repercussion.
3. Why commitment gives you freedom?
Because commitment increases opportunity and upside in rejecting alternatives and distractions in favor of what I've chosen to let truly matter to me.
4. How to build trust?
First, we should know, the pain in our relationship is necessary to cement our trust in each other and produce greater intimacy.
Second, for a relationship to be healthy, both people must be willing and able to both say no and hear no. Conflict is not only normal, and it's absolutely necessary for the maintenance of a healthy relationship.
Third, the love being expressed toward us comes without any special conditions or baggage attached to it.
二. 感想
这一章我看得很慢，常常陷入沉思。先来摘抄一些令我倍受触动的句子，关于阅历、深度和信任：
The older you get, the more experienced you get, the less significantly each new experience affects you.
But depth is where the gold is buried. And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up.
Trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship, for the simple reason that without trust, the relationship doesn't actually mean anything.
Trust is like a china plate. If you break it once, with some care and attention you can put it back together again. But if you break it again, it splits into even more pieces and it takes far longer to piece together again. If you break it more and more times, eventually it shatters to the point where it's impossible to restore.
这三样，我无一例外地想到了自己。
随着阅历越来越丰富，我们对新鲜事物、新的环境的适应能力就越来越强。因为总能找到相似的经验得以借鉴。“第一次”经历得多了，遇事自然就淡定了。所以无论好坏，一切经历都是财富。拿出国读书来说，除了学业上的收获，更有意义的是经历本身，它让我看到了太多不一样的风景、风格迥异而有趣的人和多元又魅力无限的文化。
比坚持更重要的，是深入。多年以前我就被我爸反复提醒，别总浮于表面。可我却总听不进去，更不愿意承认。直到最近，同样的问题又被身边的朋友指出来，那一瞬间我就像被击中了一样。仔细想了很久，我想我知道这个毛病是怎么来的，也同样清楚该怎么让它走。
关于信任，我想得最多，但角度有所不同。身边的师长、朋友和了解我的人，对我的信任程度常常远远超过我自己。遇到事情，我总是在第一时间问自己，我行吗？而他们的反应则是毫不犹豫地认定，我可以。我按照自己的价值观去做事，让别人对我建立了信任，可我为什么反而不够相信自己？其实让我担心的东西，很多都是自己想出来吓唬自己的。敢于相信自己，然后实实在在去努力。
三. 字词
1. set off (for)
(1) 原文：In 2009, I gathered up all my possessions, sold them or put them into storage, left my apartment, and set off for Latin America.
(2) 解释：to start to go somewhere
(3) 造句：He sets off for the beach.
2. what I want out of life
(1) 原文：It was the digital nomad dream and as a twenty-five-year-old adventure-seeker, it was exactly what I wanted out of life.
(2) 解释：我所想要的生活
(3) 造句：I often ask myself, is this what I want out of life?
3. dozens of
(1) 原文：I visited fifty-five countries, made dozens of friends, and found myself in the arms of a number of lovers.
(2) 解释：a lot of
(3) 造句：I'm glad to know dozens of friends in a couple of days
4. settle down
(1) 原文：Whereas my friends back home were settling down into marriages, buying houses, and giving their time to interesting companies or political causes, I was floundering from one high to the next.
(2) 解释：在这里的意思是指安顿下来、安定下来（尤指结婚）。它还可以指（使某人）安静下来；（情况）平静下来；着手认真做（某事）。
(3) 造句：Parents always would like to see their children settle down and get married.
5. sth sucks
(1) 原文：The food sucked. The weather sucked. My apartment sucked.
(2) 解释：某事物糟透了（spoken not polite）。suck的另一个用法：suck up to sb 拍马屁
(3) 造句：He always sucks up to his boss. I think it sucks.
6. choke on
(1) 原文： I nearly choked on my drink.
(2) 解释：噎住、呛住
(3) 造句：The boy choked on a piece of bread.
7. as the weeks wore on
(1) 原文： But as the weeks wore on, I got used to the Russian frankness, much as I did the midnight sunsets and the vodka that went down like ice water.
(2) 解释：随着时间的推移
(3) 造句：As the weeks wore on, I began to love this place.
