当遇到自己解决不了的问题时,我们会向他人寻求建议。但这些建议并不一定能帮助我们解决问题,有时反而会使情况更加糟糕。下面就来看看在爱情里可能会出现哪些建议吧~
When we encounter problems that we can't solve, we seek advice from others. But these suggestions don't always help us solve problems, and sometimes they make things worse. Here are some suggestions about what might happen in love ~!
第一则
-THEFIRST-
"Youshouldfindsomeonebetterforyourself."
“你应该找个更好的。”
Ifyou'reonlyinarelationshipbecauseyouwantsomepersonalprofit,maybeyou'reonthewrongtrack.Profit-seeking,accordingtopsychologists,cannotbeanadequatereasontostartorendarelationship.Indoingso,youcandestroyareallyhappymarriageorstartalifethatdoesn'tbringyouanyhappinessatall.
如果谈恋爱只是为了个人利益,那就是心术不正。心理学家表示,寻求利益不足以成为开始或结束一段恋情的理由。为利而爱,只会毁掉美满婚姻,或是开启一段并不快乐的人生。
第二则
-THESECOND-
"Showthemwho'stheboss.Don'tletthempushyouaround!"
“让他们知道谁才是主导。别让别人牵着鼻子走!”
Firstofall,lovepartnershavedifferentfieldsofresponsibilityinarelationship,anditseemsnormalthateachofthemtakesaleadingrolefromtimetotime.Onlymutualunderstandingandrespectofthepartnerscanmakeamarriageworkandmakeitreallystrong.
首先,恋人在一段恋情中总是各司其职,因此双方时不时各占上风都是正常表现。恋人之间只有相互理解和尊重才能拥有一段牢固的完满婚姻。
第三则
-THETHIRD-
"Demandthatyourpartnerisromantic!"
“要求另一半浪漫多情!”
Psychologistsclaimthatthere'sacertainromanticperiodinanyrelationshipthatcommonlypassesaftersometime.Partnerscan'tliveforeverlikethey'reinaromanticcomedy,goingcrazywhentheyseeeachother.
心理学家表示,在任何一段恋情中都会出现浪漫的热恋期,但是热恋期总会过去。恋人间不可能一直像热恋期一样生活,比如一见到对方就心潮澎湃。
That'swhyyoucan'tdemandthatyourpartnerisinthehoneymoonphaseofyourrelationshipallthetime.Everyrelationshiphasdifferentphasesofdevelopment,eachwithitsownadvantages.
因此,不能要求对方永远处于热恋期的状态。每段恋情都有不同的发展阶段,每个阶段都有自己的优点。
第四则
-THEFOURTH-
"Stayquiet.Don'tmakeitworse."
“保持沉默。别把它弄糟了。”
It'salmostimpossibletoavoidconflictinarelationship.However,itisbettertoresolveconflictswhentheyoccur.Youshouldn'tsuppressyourfeelingsandwaituntiltheybreakoutonedaybecausethiswillcausemoredamagetothemarriage.Don'tplaythevictimcard.Discussyourfeelingswithyourpartnerinstead.
在一段恋情中要避免矛盾几乎是不可能的。然而,矛盾一旦出现,最好及时解决。不要压抑自己的情感,一旦有一天爆发出来,就会对婚姻造成巨大危害。别老是扮演受害者角色,还是和另一半谈谈自己的感受吧。
第五则
-THEFIFTH-
"Justreadtheirchat.Youhavetheright!"
“你有权利看ta的聊天记录!”
Suchinterferenceinapartner'spersonallife—makingintrusivecalls,readingpersonalchats,trackinglocations—isconsideredbyfamilylawspecialiststobethefirststeptowardabusivebehaviorinafamily.Itcanbenotonlyphysicalbutemotionaltoo.Don'tlistentothiskindofadvice,anddon'tmakeyourpartnerahostageofyourjealousy.
电话轰炸、偷看聊天记录、追查位置——这类对于另一半个人生活的干涉被家庭法专家认为是导致家暴行为的第一步。这类行为可能是身体上的,也可能是情感上的。所以,不要听从这类建议,不要让另一半成为你嫉妒心理的人质。
第六则
-THESIXTH-
"Justremindhimthatwhatheearnsisn'tenough."
“就和他说,他赚得太少了。”
Thisadviceisagreatwaytoturnalittlemisunderstandingintoabigconflictbetweenpartners.Youknowthatyoucanfindalotofmutualreproachestomakeitallevenworse.
这个建议能让恋人间的小摩擦升级为核战。你得知道,你们可以找出许多事情互相指责,这会让你们的关系雪上加霜。
Specialistssaythatyoushouldn'tdiscusssuchmattersonadailybasis,andtrynottomentionsomethinglikethisduringabigconflict.
专家表示,在日常生活中以及发生重大矛盾时都不宜提及这类问题。
第七则
-THESEVENTH-
"Lookatmeandlearn."
“看看我,学着点。”
Teachingbyyourownexampleworksbetterwithkids,notwithlovepartners.Youarenotachild,andyoushouldn'trepeatsomeoneelse'sbehavior.
通过个人经历来教育对方,这对小孩来说也许奏效,但是在另一半身上却行不通。你不是小孩,不应该复制他人的行为。
Whenyouhavemarriagedifficulties,don'tlookatotherfamiliesandtrytocopytheirwayoflife.However,thisdoesn'tmeanthatyoucan'ttrytoavoidsomeofthemistakestheymake.
当婚姻出现危机时,不要观察其他家庭,复制他们的生活方式。不过,倒是可以以他人为鉴,避免重蹈覆辙。
第八则
-THEEIGHTH-
见朋友之前:我们真是天生一对!
见朋友之后:你配不上我!
Sowhydowetendtolistentowordsthatmightbringusnothinggood?Maybebecausedeepinsidewebelievethatpeoplecanseebetterfromtheside,givingusrationaladvice.
所以,为什么我们会听取那些一无是处的建议呢?可能因为在内心深处,我们认为旁观者可以看到问题的本质,给出合理的建议。
However,it'saverymisleadingfeelingbecauseyourrelationshipisverycomplexandfullofdetailsnooneknowsbutyoutwo.That'swhyyoushouldlistenonlytoyourmindandyourownheart.
然而,这一认识具有误导性。恋爱十分复杂,很多细节只有你们两个人自己知道,别人一无所知。所以,你只能从心而爱,随心而恋。
However, this understanding is misleading. Love is very complicated, many details only you two people know, others know nothing about. So, you can only love from the heart, and love the heart.
尽管别人能给我们建议,但要记得最后做决定的还是我们自己。我们要学会拒绝那些不好的建议。生活中你有没有后悔接受了某个建议呢?欢迎在评论区分享~
Although others can give us advice, but remember that the final decision is still our own. We should learn to reject bad advice. Have you ever regretted accepting a proposal in your life? Welcome to share in the review area ~!