运用情感素养理念和策略应对处理语言教学和学习中的情绪问题
主讲人：Mary Ni (倪孟亮 博士) 塞勒姆州立大学
(Salem State University, Salelm Massachusetts, USA. mni@@post.harvard.edu)
suggested readings:
Claude Steiner. Emotional Literacy: Intellegence with a Heart.
Harvey Jackins. The Human Side of Human Beings: The theory of reevaluation counselling.
Laura Maciuika, Ed. D. Conscious Calm: Keys to Freedom From Stress and Worry.
讲座内容：
Using emotional literacy to teach language.
learning a foreign language is a challenge with anxiety.
Pracitice/exercise: have a partner and talk for 3 minutes, then switch. No interruption, just listen and pay full attention to the speaker.
Teaching for emotional literacy:
Three useful theoretical frameworks:
mindful meditation,
reevaluation counselling,
opening the heart.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When we're minful, we observe our thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting our lives pass us by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.
(http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/mindfulness)
Concious Calm
The ability to understand and listen to our bodies and de-stress ourselves through controlled, deep breathing and simple meditative practices.
The Human Side of Human Beings
Humans are infinitely intelligent.
We are naturally curious and zestful.
We enjoy affection, communication, and cooperation with one another.
opening the heart:
Understanding and using the dynamics and power of positive and negative interpersonal communications ("stroke" communication)
Learning to communicate with Action/Feeling Statement and about our intuitions, hunches, perceptions and fantasies.( we usually interpret other people's stroke without asking them. Mis-interpretation brings about misunderstanding. what's why we need to have a conversation to clear up the misunderstanding.)
Taking responsibility for our behavior by being totolly honest, rectifying lies and other mistakes and hurtful behavior, and learning to apologize, accept apologies, and be able to forgive.
Effective way of communication:
instead of saying: You are so inconsiderate not to put the seat down.
we can say: You didnot put the seat down. That makes me feel angry.
why it is difficult to understand emotion?
After early childhood we are taught it is NOT OK to feel or show our feelings.
We are conditioned to not show our true emotions: to not cry, not show fear, not show anger, not be too happy.
Hence, we become out of touoch with ourselves.
We become out of touch with other people's feelings as well.
We have trouble understanding indirect expression of emotion.
Why is it so hard to change even when we realize what is wrong?
We've been hurt.
When we are hurt, it is more difficult to act in rational ways.
We act on painful emotion (our actions are blinded by painful emotion) and we don't think or act clearly.
We act irrationally from painful hurt (patterned behaviors) because this is how we have survived.
The painful emotions from being hurt stop us from seeing that change needs to happen.
How do we change?
People change through the realization there are other better way of being.
We can examine any painful emotions, re-experience and release these painful emotions, and consequently heal from the effects of the release (re-experiencing old pain is not the hurtful experience but the healing of the hurtful experience.)
We are then able to better assess our circumstances and take more effective actions in our own best interests.
We acquire useful information that shows us how to change.
We practice new behaviors.
Our body's healing mechanisms
Grief: crying, sad noises, talking
Anger: loud noises, big motions, crying, talking
Fear: trembling, shaking, crying, cold persperation, talking
Embarrassment: laughing, crying, warm persperation, talking
Physical hurts: yawning, crying, talking
Joy, Zest: Absence of painful emotion.
"If a man has one person, just one, in his life to whom he is willing to confess everything--- and that includs mind you, not only things criminal, not only turpitude, meaness and cowardice, but also situations which are simply ridiculous, when he has played the fool (and who has not) — then he comes to love that person and his love will save him." — T. S. Eliot
