Where is my soul?
Had i lost it?
Was it flewed away by the wind?
Did it disappear from the air or the rain cloud?
For the noisy world?
Or the dumb heart?
I feel shameful.
I feel i'm not independent,just like drifting seaweed which can only walk by the sea water.
22-years-old should be a hopeful and creative age.
But i can't feel a free and beating heart.
It's only an old man's heart.
When i saw the freshmen dressed up with green clothes for military training,i was just thinking about what did i do these years.
I can feel i'm dropping.
My life orbit like dropping from the hill,
Since the time i throw my soul away to the air,to the rubbish can,or just to someone else.
It didn't belong to me any more.
I want to keep my heart alone,without attempting to get into the crowd.
Crowd just made me feel i am lost,being other's followers.
I want to neglect other's eyes,and have the courage and confidence which i had when i was 10 years old,attending a primary school.I admire a lot who i was at that time.
Growing up made me have to considering many things. Maybe it made me adapt to the world,and maybe it made me just afraid the world.
During a long time,i can't hear what my heart says any more.
I just go with the flow.
What does this mean?
I am insisting that doing things with the flow at the age of 20s can be very likely keeped at 30s,40s or even more.
So it's another question i should think through.
