前情提要

Previously on Desperate Housewives...

丹妮尔在万圣节

Danielle had her baby...

产下一子

...on halloween.

你说我父亲不在乎我

You said my father didn't care about me.

凯瑟琳透露了一个秘密

Katherine revealed a secret.

我希望你想象一下

I want you to imagine the worst thing

一个父亲能对女儿所做最不堪的事

That a father can do to his daughter.

勒奈特得到一个天大的喜讯

Lynette got great news.

我拿到化验结果了  你痊愈了

I got the test results back. You're clean.

而麦克正努力减轻自己的痛苦

While Mike tried to ease his pain,

-维克托  -你知道我的梦想是什么吗

Victor... You know what my dream is?

挽留住了加布  - 是你

...reached out to Gaby . You.

别离开 加布 如果你要走  请带上我

Don't run away, Gaby . But if you do, take me with you.

伊迪报了仇

And Edie got revenge.

别把责任都推在加布身上

Don't take it all out on Gaby .

是卡洛斯要把你当傻子耍

Carlos decided to make a fool out of you.

关于维克托·朗有件事你得知道

The thing you need to know about Victor Lang

那就是他并不吝惜欺骗的手段

Is that he was not above using deception.

不管是对竞选资金捐赠方所做的虚假承诺

Whether it was an insincere promise to a campaign donor,

还是对记者提问的巧妙回避

or the artful evasion of a reporter's question,

抑或是把他的支持者玩弄于股掌之上

or an outright lie to his constituents,

为达目的维克托可以不择手段

Victor did what he had to to get what he wanted.

但多亏有了这些偷拍照片

But thanks to some compromising photos,

让他了解到他的妻子

He learned that his wife

同样在欺骗方面也有所造诣

Knew a little something about deception as well.

说最后一次  卡洛斯  别再打我电话了

For the last time, Carlos , stop calling me.

我说了  我只是想和你谈谈

I told you, I just wanna talk.

-我也说了  我们结束了  -你怎么

And I told you it's over. So what,

-你要回到那个鸡嘴唇白化病人的身边?  -不知道

You're just gonna go back to that chicken-lipped albino?  - I don't know.

我得慢慢循序渐进

I'm taking it one day at a time.

但是我敢肯定维克托他

But what I can say about Victor is

不会对我隐瞒他的财产收入  - 我说了我很抱歉

He doesn't lie to me about how much money he's got.  - Look,I said I was sorry.

很好  我得挂了  布里

Oh, that's great. Yeah, well, I-I gotta go, Bree.

是布里

It's Bree.

我刚通知了我的员工

Okay, so I just informed my staff

下个月我休息

That I'm taking the next month off

带我老婆去度她一直想要的蜜月

To give my wife the honeymoon she always wanted.

太棒了  我们去哪? - 卧室里有一些旅游杂志

That's amazing. Where should we go?  - Well,I left some travel magazines in the bedroom.

你去把它们拿来好吗

Why don't you go get 'em?

天啊  维克托

Oh, My God, Victor.

里约热内卢一月游 宛如天堂 不是吗?

A month in Rio sounds like heaven, doesn't it?

是啊 我们就去那里

Oh, it does. Let's do it. Ooh!

为什么我们不马上就开始和解行动

Hey, why don't we kick off our reconciliation

去小船上度过一个周末假期呢?

With a little weekend on the boat?

太浪漫了  我喜欢

That's so romantic. I love that. Huh?

只有你和我  二人世界  海上漫游

Just you and me, all alone, out in the middle of the ocean.

她们会羡慕死的

The girls are gonna be so jealous.

不  不  不 我们别告诉其他人这事

Oh, no, no, no, let's not tell anyone we're going.

这是一个小秘密

It'll be our little secret.

是的 维克托从不吝啬

Yes, Victor was not above

用他的欺骗技巧去获得他想得到的

using deception to get what he wanted,

而此时此刻他想要的就是...

And what he wanted now

是报复

was revenge.

绝望的主妇 第四季第7集

紫藤郡次日帷幕的拉开 透着一丝欺骗的气息

The next day on Wisteria Lane began with a bit of deceit.

布里·豪治告诉她的朋友

Bree Hodge told her friends

她在午夜生下了个漂亮的小男孩

She had given birth in the middle of the night to a beautiful baby boy.

托本杰明·泰森·豪治健康的肺之福

And thanks to the healthy lungs of Benjamin Tyson Hodge ,

布里的朋友们没花多长时间

It didn't take long for Bree 's friends

就忙于编纂自己的谎言

to engage in some deceit of their own.

他真是个小天使

Well, he's just a little piece of heaven.

-你真幸福  -让我都想再生一个了

You're so blessed. Makes me wanna have another one myself.

奥森  在我的朋友们谎话说尽前

Orson, you better take Benjamin to the other room

你最好把孩子带到另一间屋子去

Before my friends run out of lies. Ah.

不

No.

他们并不懂得欣赏这对健康的肺  是吧

They don't appreciate a healthy pair of lungs, that's all, huh?

好了好了  本杰明乖  不哭了

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Come on, Benjamin.

-勒奈特  你把消息告诉大家了吗  -没 现在是宝宝时间

Hey, Lynette , you tell everyone your news?  - No. This is about the baby.

等等  你做了最终的扫描检查了?

Wait. Did you have that final scan?

-有结果了吗  - 嗯，有所好转

Did you hear something?  - Well, the results are back,

不过你永远不能肯定地说"你痊愈了"...

And while you can never actually say you're cured--

她痊愈了!

She's cured!

天啊  太好了

Oh, my god! Oh, yeah!

每六个月我得复查一次

I have to get checked every six months,

但  是的  医生表示情况非常乐观

But, yes, the doctor is very optimistic.

你们在吵什么?

Hey, what the hell is all this racket?

有人中了彩票?

Someone win the lotto?

我只是在告诉所有人我的喜讯...

Oh, I was just telling everybody the good news about my...

关于我癌症的

Cancer.

恭喜你啊

Hey, congrats!

我也是名康复者

I'm a survivor myself.

前列腺癌

Prostate.

松饼

Ooh, muffins.

有点礼貌  介绍一下你自己

Hey, show some class. Introduce yourself.

大家好  我是斯坦

Hi. I'm Stan

那是...我的浴袍吗

Is th--is that my robe?

是的  不好意思

Yeah. Sorry, uh...

如果我早知道我昨晚在那家扑克俱乐部

If I knew when I walked into that card club last night

会跟这位可爱的女士一起回家

that I would be going home with this lovely lady,

我一定会随身携带换洗衣服的

I'd have packed me a change of clothes.

我明白了  我们会在你们面前消失的

Okay, I get it. We'll get out of your hair.

走吧帅哥  我们去洗澡

Come on, handsome. Let's take a shower.

麦克  你还要多久?

Mike, how long are you gonna be?

我们要赶在食物凉掉之前送去布里家

We've gotta get this food over to Bree 's before it gets cold.

苏珊  我今晚不想过去

You know, Susan , I don't feel like going over there tonight.

-能推掉吗  -不行  他们刚生了宝宝

Can't you just drop it off?  - No, they just had a baby.

我们得表现出高兴  惊讶  然后吃东西  - 但我很累

We're gonna "ooh," we're gonna "ahh," and then we're gonna eat. - But I'm tired.

我忙了一整天  我从一大早就在工作

I worked all day. I got a job first thing in the morning.

麦克  你躲不掉的

There's no way out of it, Mike

还是快弄好下来吧

Just do what you need and downstairs.

我们郊区这里就是这样的

This is what we do in the suburbs.

好吧

Ah, yes...

郊区

The suburbs.

丹妮尔喜欢她的宝贝弟弟吗

And how does Danielle like her baby brother?

她喜欢极了

Oh, she adores him.

她就是觉得非常遗憾 自己这么快就得赶回学校

She just felt terrible that she had to leave for school so soon.

说到这个  我们有一些多余的幼儿园报名表

Speaking of which, we have some extra preschool applications

如果你们有兴趣的话

If the two of you are interested.

现在就谈幼儿园不会有点早了吗?

Isn't it a little early to be talking preschool?

她才刚怀孕  孩子看起来不过海马那样小

She just got pregnant. Our baby still looks like a sea horse.

亲爱的 那些最好的幼儿园满员速度会让你吃惊的

Oh, honey.You'd be surprised how fast the best schools fill up.

我们的孩子只上最好的  对吧

And only the best for our kid, right?

我想你得开始存钱了

I'd start saving your pennies.

野蔷薇幼儿园现在是1万美元一年

Bonny Briar's up to $10,000 a year.

1万美元...

10,000 dollars...

就为了那些乐高积木和儿童马桶?

For used legos and a potty chair?

而且你最好现在就申请报名

And you'd better apply now.

黛碧·戈特利和我同一天生孩子

Debbie Gottlieb had her baby the same day I did,

她头三个中意的幼儿园

And she could only get wait-listed

都只能把她排在等待名单中了

at her first three choices.

哦，对了  她邀请我们周六去她宝宝的割礼(新生男婴切割包皮的仪式)

Oh, by the way, we were invited to her bris this saturday.

- 给我找个借口  - 我以为你喜欢黛碧和卢他们俩呢

Well, make an excuse for me.  - I thought you liked Debbie and Lou .

我是喜欢

Oh, I do.

我只是不想看他们借仪式来残害他们的孩子

I just don't care to watch them ritually mutilate their child.

请再给我点木须肉

More moo shu, please.

割礼不是残害

Circumcision's not mutilation.

这只是个简单的手术

It's a simple surgery

旨在维持男性的终生健康

Meant to promote lifelong masculine hygiene.

这是外创性的手术

It's a, uh, traumatic procedure

减弱了男性获得性快感的能力

Which reduces the male's capacity for sexual pleasure

减低了顶端刺激的敏感度...

By desensitizing the tip of--

我们知道是怎么回事

We know what it is.

在这个话题上

Gee, I don't think I've ever heard

我从未听闻过如此强烈的意见

such strong opinions on the subject.

我是说  这些问题我讨论得不多

I mean, not that it's something I talk about a lot...

或者说从没有

Or ever.

我希望我没有冒犯你

I hope I didn't offend you.

自从"1万块"那句后我就没听进一个字

I haven't heard a word since "$10,000."

只是这让我清晰回忆起了自己的割礼仪式

It's just that I remember my own circumcision so vividly.

太荒唐了

Oh, that's ridiculous.

我父母在这事上也有分歧

My parents disagreed on this issue, too.

我父亲不同意

My dad said no.

我母亲就静待时机

So mother just bided her time

直到我父亲出差离开家

Until he finally left town on business.

我当时5岁

I was 5.

她告诉我说出去吃冰淇淋

She told me we were going for ice cream.

这就是为什么手术要在婴儿时做

That's why the procedure should be done on babies.

他们不会记得

They won't remember.

现在我们能换个话题吗?

Now can we please just drop this?

也好

Fine.

苏珊

So, Susan ,

你好象说带了甜点过来

You mentioned something about bringing dessert.

是什么

What is it?

冰淇淋

Ice cream.

对不起

Sorry.

你找到巧克力酱了吗

Oh, so you found the chocolate sauce?

是的  就在这儿

Oh, uh, yeah, it's right here.

- 你还好吧  - 我只是吃了片阿司匹林

Is everything okay?  - Oh, yeah. I was just taking a couple of aspirin.

希望奥森的过激言辞没有让你头疼

I hope Orson 's rant didn't give you a headache.

没有  只是我那次交通事故的后遗症

Oh, no, I've just still got a little pain from my accident,

- 没别的  - 还在痛?  差不多有两年了吧

That's all. - Still? That was nearly two years ago.

只是时不时的会有点痛

Well, it's just a twinge every now and then.

阿司匹林正好管用

Aspirin does the trick.

别  别  我来

No, no, no, no. I'll get that.

我以为你把游艇停在俱乐部呢

I thought you kept your boat at the yacht club.

可是  我想从这里出发

Yeah, I wanted to leave from here.

- 这样就能避开码头上的拥挤人群  - 船员在什么地方?

This way, we avoid the congestion at the marina.  - Where's the crew?

没有船员  我让他们走了

There's no crew. I let 'em go.

什么

What?

那谁给我们撑伞拿饮料?

Who's gonna bring us umbr Ella drinks

我们走过时  谁向我们致意?

And salute us when we walk by?

把我当作你的单人海军队吧

Just consider me your one-man navy.

- 你要自己来开船?  - 你可以帮我啊

So you're gonna drive this thing by yourself?  - Well, you can help.

去年夏天那个船长不是教你开船了吗?

Didn't that captain give you lessons last summer?

是啊 没错

Oh, that's right--

那无聊透顶的两小时我再也不要了

Those two boring hours I'll never get back.

好消息是  这次航行绝不会无聊

Well, the good news is this trip will be anything but boring.

我们得谈谈斯坦的事

We need to talk about this Stan thing.

他是叫...斯坦?

Oh, is that his name? Stan?

他走的时候  我只说了"拜拜"之类的

Uh, when he left, I just sort of said, "see ya."

好吧  这让我想到

Well, it got me thinking

这几个月来你对自己的生活有多么

About how much you've had to put your life on hold

- 漠不关心  - 没什么大不了

these past few months.  - No big deal.

不  这很重要

No, it was a big deal.

你对我关怀备至

You have taken amazing care of me.

但是我知道你希望能重拾一些从前的生活

But I know you have so many things you wanna get back to.

也不是

Mm, not really.

肯定是  你一定快疯了

Come on. It must be driving you crazy

和五个吵吵闹闹围着你跑的孩子住在一起

Living with five screaming kids underfoot.

你想要安安静静我不会怪你的

I don't blame you for wanting a little peace and quiet.

你该离开这里了  妈妈

You need to leave, mom.

好吧

Okay.

好吧  我...我知道不该把斯坦带到家里来

Okay, I-I know I shouldn't have brought...Stan into the house.

我保证  下次我们会在车里做

And next time, I promise you we will do it in the car.

不仅是这事

It's not just that.

还有吸烟  说脏话的问题

It's the smoking and the swearing

还教孩子们调威士忌酸酒

And the teaching the kids how to make a whiskey sour.

那是一门科学  勒奈特

It's a science, Lynette

叫做混合酒调制术

It's called mixology.

我只是觉得  如果你能回自己家的话

I just think it would work better for everyone

会对每个人都有好处

if you got your own place.

好吧  那钱从哪儿来?

Okay. With what money?

你不是有钱的吗

You have money, right?

我的意思是  你还借给我们1万块呢

I mean, you loaned us that $10,000.

是的

Yes, I did.

等等

Wait a minute.

你一共就那么多钱吗

That was all the money you had?

你们需要钱  我也需要个地方落脚

You guys needed it, and I needed a place to stay.

看起来对大家都有好处

It seemed like it turned out pretty well for everybody.

这是什么意思?  我以为你一直和露西住

What do you mean? I thought you were living with Lucy.

你姐姐把我赶出来了

Your sister kicked me out.

说句不好听的 勒奈特

Not to put too fine a point on it, Lynette,

你的癌症来得真是时候

But your cancer couldn't have come at a better time.

嘿 我有些学校的作业需要你帮一下忙

Hey, I need your help with a school thing.

你从来都不用我帮忙  肯定是什么容易的事儿

Wow. You never ask for my help. Must be something easy.

你对迪兰的爸爸了解多少?

What do you know about Dylan 's dad?

我们有一个学校的家谱项目，

We've got this genealogy project for school,

她想知道关于她爸爸的事儿

And she wants to find out about him.

也许迪兰该去问她妈妈

Maybe Dylan should ask her mom.

她妈妈一说起他就变得很怪

She gets really weird talking about him.

顺便问一下 为什么会这样?

Why is that, by the way?

好吧 不要告诉别人是我和你说的

Okay, don't tell anybody I told you this.

她妈妈在我的派对上说过

Her mom said something at my party

她爸爸曾经虐待凯瑟琳

about her dad being abusive towards Katherine ...

可能也包括迪兰

and maybe Dylan , too.

所以我觉得你让她去

Oh. So I'm thinking that it would be better

研究她家里其他的人会更好一些

if you could get her to research somebody else in her family.

是啊

Yeah.

也许你是对的

Maybe you're right.

听着 我跟我妈说了

Listen, I-I was talking to my mom, and--

是的

Yeah.

我听到了

I heard.

苏珊  我是布里  太好了  你在家

Susan? Hi. It's, uh, Bree . I'm glad you're home.

跟你说 我想我等下会顺便过去一下

Uh,  listen, I-I thought I might stop by for a little visit.

我大概一小时以后还有工作

Look, I've only got, uh, about an hour before my next job.

我可以一边看电视一边吃饭吗?

Uh, is it okay if I grab lunch in front of the TV?

- 我想看比赛  - 好的  我会把盘子端过去

I wanted to watch the game.  - Oh, sure. I'll--I'll bring up a tray.

谢谢

Oh, thanks.

布里觉得你在吸毒

Bree thinks you're doing drugs.

她在厨房的地板上发现了这个

She found this on her kitchen floor,

而这个不是阿斯匹林

and it's not aspirin.

好吧  我肩膀最近很疼

Well, you know, my shoulder's been hurting lately.

她说这是一种麻醉药  而且容易上瘾

She says it's a narcotic, and it's highly addictive.

根据你过往经历...

Given your history--

哇 等等 苏珊 这些药是在车祸后

Whoa, whoa, Susan , these--these were prescribed by a doctor

医生开给我的

right after my accident.

我在药箱里找到了一些

I found a couple in the medicine cabinet,

所以随身带了点儿

And I've been carrying 'em around

-以防我肩膀再犯病  - 真的?

In case my shoulder acts up.  - Really?

是的 是真的 是最后两粒了

Yeah.  Really. They were the last two.

所以你没必要担心

So you got nothing to worry about.

哦 谢天谢地! 你不知道我都想到哪去了

Oh, thank god!  You have no idea where my mind went.

我想象着你在小巷里徘徊 为了买毒品

I had you roaming back alleys to score your dope,

把我们精美的银器当了 去向毒贩子买毒品

Pawning our good silver to pay your dealer.

可其实我们根本就没有精美的银器

And we don't even have good silver,

所以更惨的是你得撞翻一个加油站

So it got worse 'cause you had to knock over a gas station

来买那些银器 然后再去当掉

to buy the silver to pawn it off.

我真的开始发疯了

I was really making myself crazy.

我很抱歉

I'm sorry about that.

不过我再重申一遍...这些都是原来开的药 没问题

But I reiterate-- old pill, no problem.

我知道了  我很高兴

I knew it. I'm so happy.

很好

Mmm. Good.

现在帮我做午饭吧 老婆

Mm, now fix me some lunch, woman.

我要去看比赛了

Oh! I wanna watch the damn game.

需要我帮忙吗?

Can I help you?

是的 请问要让我的孩子割包皮

Yes, um, can you tell me who I would talk to

我应该去问谁呀?

about having my baby circumcised?

你说无能为力是什么意思?

What do you mean you can't help me?

我收到一封来自您丈夫的挂号信

I received a registered letter from your husband which reads,

上面说"我不希望我的孩子本杰明·豪治

"I do not wish for my son, Benjamin Hodge,

"做包皮切割手术

"to be circumcised.

"收到这封信的人  如果遇到我的妻子...

Should the recipient of this letter encounter my wife..."

"请直接把这封信给她看

"please feel free to show her this letter

"让她知道此州以及邻近两个州

"and assure her of its wide distribution

"所有的医院和大夫

"to hospitals and physicians

都已经收到了这封信"

Across this and two neighboring states."

这是不是有点儿太烫了?  - 你竟然觉得有必要这样做

Does this seem too warm to you? - That you even felt such a thing was necessary.

显然很必要  我了解我妻子  请原谅

Well, obviously, it was. Forgive me for knowing my wife.

这什么意思  你不相信我?

What's that supposed to mean? You don't trust me?

我相信你不会食言

I trust you not to break your word.

既然你坚决拒绝了，

Since you've pointedly refused to give it,

我相信你一定会先斩后奏

I trusted you to snip first and debate the merits later.

我只是为本杰明着想  讲讲道理吧

I'm only thinking of Benjamin . Be reasonable.

你才不讲道理呢

You're the one who's unreasonable.

你对没动过手术的阴茎有意见?

What have you got against untrimmed penises?

它们...不好看

They're... Unsightly.

我可不想咱们的儿子因为与众不同

I do not want our son to be teased...

而被其他人取笑 你呢?

For being different. Do you?

那么说到底

Ah, so in the end,

一切又回到传统和习俗一致的问题上来了

It all comes down to tradition and conformity.

那有什么问题? 我以为我们喜欢这种一致性呢

What is wrong with that? I thought we liked conformity.

不是以疼痛和减少性快感来作为代价的

Not at the price of pain and reduced sexual pleasure.

我可以告诉你是谁的性快感

I can tell you someone whose sexual pleasure

将会大大地减少

is going to be reduced big-time!

(万家家谱网)

嘿 宝贝

Hey, sweetheart.

干什么呢

What's that?

学校的功课

Just something for school.

你刚输入的那个名字是什么?

What was that name you just typed in?

我们布置了一个家谱项目

We were assigned a genealogy project.

我得去搜寻父亲的信息

I have to do research on my father.

我会给你老师打电话

I will call your teacher

她会布置给你另外一份作业的

She'll assign you a different project.

你知不知道自己在干嘛

What do you think you're doing?

我在了解我的爸爸

I am learning about my father.

-迪兰  - 这么多年来  你一直告诉我

Dylan!  - For years, you have told me

我父亲太邪恶了 不要谈起他

That my father is too evil to talk about.

现在我发现你在邻居家的派对上

Now I find out you've discussed him

讨论我父亲?!

at a neighborhood game night?!

无论如何  我还是你妈妈

Regardless, I am still your mother,

只要你还住在这个家里一天

And while you're under my roof,

你就得听我的

You will obey my rules.

如果我不呢?

And what if I don't?

你要再扇我一巴掌  把我赶出去?

Are you gonna slap me again, kick me out of the house?

来吧  试试看  看到底会怎样

Go ahead. Try it. See what happens.

对不起  妈妈

I'm sorry, mom.

这次你管不了我了

You can't stop me this time.

我郑重地告诉你  我不再怕你了

I am officially no longer afraid of you.

他需要点止疼的东西  而他碰巧发现

And he needed something for the pain, so he happened to find

在医药箱里还有最后两片止疼药

The last two pills in the medicine cabinet,

于是他就吃了

And he took 'em.

没什么大不了

It's no big deal.

我给你看样东西

Let me show you something.

看见这个面包机了吗

You see this breadmaker?

我在里面藏了一瓶夏敦埃酒(一种类似夏布利酒的无甜味白葡萄酒)

This is where I hid a bottle of chardonnay

就在我告诉所有人我戒酒了之后

After I told everyone i'd stopped drinking.

但这是两码事

Oh, but this isn't the same thing.

麦克不会骗我的

Mike wouldn't lie to me about this.

看见这个旋转调味盒了吗

And this rotating spice rack?

那些小小的伏特加瓶子

Those little airplane bottles of vodka

藏在后面刚刚好

Fit perfectly in the back.

他说那药片已经吃完了

He said there were no more pills.

我当时注视着他的眼睛

I was looking him in the eye.

苏珊  瘾君子是最擅长欺骗的

Susan, addicts are experts at deception.

我的建议是

My advice to you--

相信可以...

Trust...

但也得查证

But verify.

那... 这样很好

So... This is nice--

小小的家庭聚会

Little family get-together.

怎么不叫露西来?

Why didn't you call Lucy ?

你知道她  总是很忙

Oh, you know her, always busy.

妈妈  你看起来不错

So, Mom... You look good.

谢谢 有人在和你约会了吗?

Thanks. You seeing anybody?

我可不想提这个

Not that I wanna tell you about.

还是单身

Mm, still alone.

这里的特色菜是鸡肉

Ooh, look. The special is chicken.

-听上去不错啊  - 给我点一份

Doesn't that sound good?  - Ooh, order me one.

- 我去一趟酒吧 看看比赛的比分  - 玩的开心

I-I'm going to the bar and-- and check the score on the game. Have fun.

我知道你要干吗  我不会答应的

I know what this is, and I'm not doing it.

- 什么? 什么? 我们是来吃午饭的 - 她不能搬回来

What? What? We're having lunch. - She's not moving back in.

我不会让你来左右我的

I resist your attempts to manipulate me.

没人要左右你

Nobody is manipulating you.

我的立场很明确

My boundaries are strong.

我知道我要的是什么 我也应该过得幸福

I know what I want, and I deserve to be happy.

你在干什么? 你在读什么吗?

What have you got there? Are you reading from something?

好吧

Okay!

当你邀请我来吃午饭的时候

As soon as you invited me to lunch,

我打电话给我的心理医生

I called my therapist.

他告诉我

And he told me

你会想方设法让我内疚 然后把妈妈接回去 但是...

You'd try to guilt me into taking mom back, but...

"在情感上  别人勒索不了我"

"I will not be emotionally blackmailed."

把那个给我

Give me that.

我已经照顾过她了  勒奈特

I already had her, Lynette .

她跟我一起住了两年

She stayed with me for two years--

两年里我的体重猛增

two years in which my weight ballooned.

她让我换了四次发型

She put me through four different hairstyles.

有一次  她竟然从酒吧带了个男人回来

Once, she even brought home this guy she met at a bar.

她现在不会那样了

She's so not like that now.

我不管

I don't care.

她搬出去的那天  我找回了我的生活

The day she moved out, I got my life back.

所以如果你想一起吃午餐  可以

So if you w Ann a have lunch, fine.

但仅此而已

But that's it.

好  好

Okay. Okay.

好的

Okay.

很好

Good for you.

对不起

I'm sorry.

鸡肉呢?

Where's the chicken?

是呀 服务生呢? 我去找他

Oh, yeah. Where is that waiter? I'm gonna go find him.

听我说

Just hear me out.

如果你稍稍修剪一下两边

If you trim the sides in a little,

我想你脸上的褶皱就会消失了

I think you'll lose that wingy effect you have going now.

妈妈

Mom!

我只是根据你的脸形来说

Well, I'm just saying that with the shape of your face,

这发型不合适

You're not doing yourself any favors. Do you think

你可不可以哪怕一分钟不这么挑剔呢?

You could go for one minute without being critical?

你在说什么?

What are you talking about?

我还没说你的眼影呢

I have not said one word about your eye shadow yet.

"我驳回你的否定"

"I reject your negativity.

"我心底觉得有多美丽  我就有多美丽"

I am as beautiful as I feel inside."

哦 是你呀

Oh, it's you.

谢谢你通知我让回来拿画

Thank you for calling about my painting.

我不敢相信自己忘了这个

I can't believe I forgot that.

是呀 我知道它对你来说很重要

Yeah, I know it meant a lot to you.

这儿有个洞

There's a hole in it.

是啊  我也搞不懂这些现代艺术

Yeah, I don't get modern art either.

好吧 伊迪...

Okay, Edie ...

我知道你现在很生气  不过...

I know that you're angry right now, but...

你觉得我在生气?

You think I'm angry?

你应该瞧瞧维克托的样子

You should've seen Victor.

什么

What?

我们聊了一会

Yeah, we had a little chat.

事实上  他一开始不相信你在搞他的妻子

Actually, he didn't believe that you were screwing his wife...

直到我给他看了一些照片

Until I showed him some photos,

他被激怒了

And then he was just enraged.

挺吓人的

It was a little scary.

看在上帝的份上  卡洛斯

For god sakes, Carlos

我是不是要换个号码?

Am I gonna have to change this number?

维克托知道了

Victor knows.

- 知道什么  - 一切

Knows what?  - Everything.

伊迪告诉他我们在偷情

Edie told him we're having an affair.

不  不可能  他只字未提

No, that's impossible. He hasn't said a word.

实际上 我从来没看过他这么贴心和专注

In fact, i've never seen him so sweet and attentive.

他在演戏

It's an act!

伊迪说他被激怒了

Edie said he was enraged.

如果他真生我的气

Well, if he's so mad at me,

- 为什么带我出海渡假呢  - 他带你出海?

Why would he take me on a boat trip?  - He took you on a boat?

- 糟了  - 我想你应该离开那

Oh, crap.  - I think you need to get out of there.

加布

Gaby?

我刚才在和...布里通话

I-I was just talking to... Bree.

哦 哦 不 不

Oh. Oh, no, no.

我们说过谁也不告诉的

We agreed--total privacy.

回家再把手机还你

When we head home, you can have it back.

那时你和布里想聊多久都行

And you can talk to... Bree as much as you like.

你要吃点什么?

Can I get you something?

不用  我很好

No, I'm good.

你还好吧

You okay?

事实上  我很冷

Uh, actually, I'm really cold.

也许我们该回去  改天再出海

Maybe we should bail and do this another day.

- 等天暖了再来  - 天就要转暖了

You know, when it's warmer.  -It'll warm up.

只是以防万一  我们应该回到岸上去

Oh, okay, well, just in case, we should run back to shore

我可以拿件夹克

So I can grab a jacket.

加布...

Gaby...

你哪也不能去

You're not going anywhere.

我不能?

I'm not?

我都知道了  你和卡洛斯之间的一切

I know about everything--you, Carlos , the affair, everything.

好吧  我很抱歉

Okay. I am so sorry.

但我可以解释

But in my defense,

你总不在家

You were always gone,

结婚的时候你知道我很需要人陪

And you knew how needy I was when you married me.

就这些?  这就是你想说的?

That's it? That's all you have to say to me?

回到岸上我们能谈得更清楚些的

Well, it'd be easier to talk if we were back on shore.

你在做什么?

What are you doing?

你背叛我已经够糟的了

It's bad enough you've betrayed me.

我现在还要听你发牢骚吗?

Now I have to listen to your whining?

我带了东西给你

I brought something for you.

加布

Gaby!

加布

Gaby!

加布

Gaby!

那是什么

What's that?

我所知道的关于你父亲的一切

Everything I know about your father--

他的生日  他母亲的名字

Date of birth, his mother's name,

他最近的联系地址

Last known address.

有了这些你就能找到他了

It's everything you need to find him.

谢谢

Thank you.

拿走这个之前...

Before you take this...

你要先答应我几件事

You have to promise me something.

好的

Okay.

你不能把他带到这来...

You cannot bring him here...

或者告诉他我在哪儿

or even tell him where I am.

为什么

Why?

我最后一次见到你父亲的时候

The last time that I saw your father,

就是告诉他我要离开他的时候

It was to tell him that I was leaving him,

而且我要把你带走

And I was taking you with me.

他一直对我都有些粗暴

He, uh, he always liked to slap me around a little bit.

但是那晚...

But that night was...

无法想像

Unimaginable.

我不记得所有的事情了

I don't remember everything.

最后我的状况很糟糕

I-I was in pretty bad shape by the end of it.

他刚刚把我的脸按在墙上后

But once he was done slamming my face into the wall,

他开始掐我脖子

He started choking me,

他一直叫喊着他要杀了我

And he kept screaming that he was gonna kill me.

我最后的念头就是在想...

And the last thought that I had...

如果我死了你该怎么办

was what would happen to you if I died.

所以你不能告诉他我在哪

So you can't tell him where I am.

你不能说

You just can't.

也许你明天该跟我的老师谈谈

Maybe you can talk to my tea Cher Tom orrow...

让她给我换个作业吧

and have her give me another assignment.

谢谢你

Thank you.

我跟你们说过  如果你们想有一个树屋

I told you, if you're gonna have a tree house...

你们就要让它保持整洁

You've gotta keep it clean.

给你 把这些拿着 然后放到门口去

Here. Take these and dump them by the front door.

嘿 该死的你们在干吗?!

Hey, what the hell are you doing?!

妈妈 快点 下车

Mom, hurry. Get out of the car.

不 不 不 你们不能把东西放那里

No, no, no. You are not leaving those here.

好  妈妈

Hi, mom.

- 把她带走  - 不 勒奈特

Take her away. - Unh-unh, Lynette .

你也许可以欺负弱小

You may have been able to strong-arm the weak one,

- 但是没办法欺负我 - 我才不是弱小!

But not me. I'm not weak!

-那你叫我来干什么  给我让开  - 露西 以前我们每次打架

Then why did you call me? Get out of our way. - Lucy,Every fight we have ever had

最后都是我骑在你脖子上

has ended with my foot on your neck.

我相信这次还是同样的结果

I guarantee that this one's gonna end the same way, too.

也许我们该进屋谈

Maybe we should talk inside.

Mazel Tov! It's a boy! Welcome to our Bris!

恭喜！是个男孩! 欢迎来我们这割礼!

(Bris:男婴进行包皮切除的聚会)

常常有人问我  为什么圣经上说

I'm often asked why the Torah tells us

(Torah 圣经旧约首五卷)

小孩必须要在出生后第8天时做包皮手术

That a child must be circumcised on the eighth day of his life.

有人说是因为一场好的招待得准备8天

Some say that's how long it takes to get a decent caterer.

仪式很不错啊

What a lovely ceremony.

我是黛博拉的朋友布里

I'm Deborah's friend Bree.

我有个可能会让你感到奇怪的请求

I have what may strike you as a very odd request.

相信我  没有什么我没听过

Trust me, it won't be one I haven't heard.

你在这里  你能不能

Do you think, while you're here,

为我的孩子也施一次割礼?

Do could do a bris for my baby, too?

好吧 的确是第一次听到

Okay, new one.

恭喜你

Good for you.

我知道在黛博拉的仪式上这也许不合适

I know it might seem tacky piggybacking on deborah's bris,

但是...我们可以在那安静地办一个

But... We could do it in the den very quietly.

我们都知道

Uh, well, as we just saw,

根本不存在什么安静的割礼

There's so such thing as a quiet bris.

你说你叫布里？

You said your name was Bree ?

是的 布里·豪治...

Yes, Bree Hodge ...

波恩·拉比诺维茨

Born Rabinowitz.

你不说 我可真不会把你当成个犹太人

Huh. I wouldn't have taken you for jewish.

我已经对此习以为常了

I should only have a nickel for every time I've heard that.

你难道不想要办传统的割礼吗

Don't you want a proper bris

- 和你的朋友家人一起? - 我也想呀

with your friends and family there? I would love that,

但是我丈夫奥森是个非常固执的异教徒

But my husband Orson -- big, stubborn, goy.

他说我们什么都不该做

He says we should do nothing

等孩子长大后自己决定

And let the child decide when he's grown.

我们没法选择自己的父母 我们总可以选择自己信仰的宗教吧?

We don't pick our parents-- we should pick our religion?

不跟你丈夫商量 我还是觉得不妥当

I wouldn't feel right doing this without speaking to your husband.

他出城去了 而且...

Well, he's out of town, and...

本杰明今天正好8天大了

Our Benjamin is 8 days old today.

如果我不这么做的话

And if I don't do this,

我的祖母...

My grandma...

赛朵

Tzeitel...

绝不会原谅我的  愿她安息

Will never forgive me, may she rest in peace.

你应该知道这算是契约吧?

You realize that this is a covenant?

不管你丈夫说什么

That whatever your husband says,

你保证

You are promising

把孩子养育成一个虔诚的犹太教人吗?

to raise your child as a devout jew?

我以上帝之名发誓

I swear to you before god

这孩子会成为像我一样虔诚的犹太教人

that this child will be as devout a jew as I am.

嘿 你去哪了? 我醒来 发现你不在了

Hey, where have you been? I woke up, and you were gone.

我们忙了一整天

Oh, we had a very busy day.

我们去了干洗店

We dropped off the dry cleaning,

去给我们圣诞节帐户上存了钱

We deposited money into our christmas account,

然后  我们进行了割礼

And then we got circumcised.

你们做了什么?

You did what?!

只是点难看的表皮  他不会怀念的

It's just a little unsightly foreskin. He'll never miss it.

干嘛就打住了呢? 为什么不把他的睾丸也切掉算了?

So why stop there? Why--why not cut off his testicles?

- 显然你不介意背地里干事情  - 奥森

You obviously have no problem going after mine.  - Orson.

你说这算什么  布里

Well, what do you call it, Bree ?

背着我做这个 忽视我对这件事的感受?

Going behind my back, ignoring my feelings on this?

我很认真地思考过了

I gave them very serious consideration.

不过在他血管里流的是我的血

But it's my blood running in his veins,

所以最终由我来决定

Which ultimately makes it my decision.

你的血?

Your blood?

那我算什么

So who am I to Benjamin ?

友好的叔叔? 男保姆?

A friendly uncle? A male nanny?

当然不是

Of course not.

那为什么你对我的方式

Then why do you treat me

好像我不够当他父亲似的

Like I'm anything less than his father?

我是说 在咱们的伪装计划中

I mean, haven't I earned that

我就没有挣得这个资格吗?

during the course of our little hoax?

我为你圆谎  我不惜当众受辱的可能

I lied for you. I-I risked public humiliation.

我做了一切  就差亲自戴假肚子了

I do everything but strap on the pregnancy harness myself.

这我都知道

I know that.

我已经把自己当成本杰明的父亲了

I see myself as Benjamin 's father.

我得知道  你是不是也这么想的

I need to know if you see me that way, too.

我当然知道你有多爱本杰明

I know how much you love Benjamin.

我想

I guess...

我想我得时刻记住

I guess I just have to remember

是爱成就了我们一家  而不是血缘

that it's love that makes us a family and not blood.

你儿子想让你抱抱他

Your son would like you to hold him.

对了  他的希伯来语名字叫西姆哈(犹太人)

By the way, his hebrew name is Simcha.

以后再给你解释

I'll explain later.

卡洛斯  你终于来了

Oh, Carlos , thank god you're here.

他人呢?  维克托在哪儿

Where is he? Where's Victor ?

我用浆把他打下船了

Well, I-I clubbed him and knocked him overboard.

他在海里?

He's in the ocean?!

他想杀了我  他有枪

He was going to kill me! He had a gun.

好了  让我想想

Okay, okay, let me think.

你看见他在水里挣扎  没死  对吗

You saw him in the water. I mean, he's not dead, right?

- 没有 他很生气 但是没死 - 所以我们只要叫人去把他捞起来就行了

No, he's mad, but he wasn't dead. - So then we'll send someone out there to fish him out.

我们报警  把枪拿给他们看

We'll call the police, show 'em the gun

说这纯粹属于正当防卫

And tell that 'em that it was self-defense.

枪还在吧

You still have the gun?

在包里面

It's in there.

可能那是用来消音的

Well, maybe he wanted it to muffle the gun.

根本没有什么枪

There is no gun.

冰锥?

Ice pick?

- 你干什么  - 给海岸警卫队打电话

What are you doing?  - I'm calling the coast guard.

和他们说什么呀  说我把我丈夫撞到海里

And tell them what, I knocked my husband overboard

因为他拿着一件毛衣来追我?

Because he was coming after me with a sweater?

不 快点 我们得离开这

No, come on. We gotta go back out there.

伙计们 这事我可弄不明白了

Guys, I can't be any clearer on this.

- 我才不要把她接回来 - 很明显 该轮到你了

I am not taking her back.  - It's your turn, simple as that.

她在我这待了有四个月

I've had her for four months.

我患癌症也有四个月了

I also had cancer for four months,

如果从癌症和她中间选择

And if I could've asked one of them to leave,

- 我都不知道我会愿意选什么 - 哦 四个月 哭吧 我可跟她住了一年

I'm not sure which I would've picked. - Oh, four months, boohoo.I had her for a year,

这一年里她还加入了每月一酒俱乐部

And that was the year she joined the gin of the month club.

我这没有她住的地方了

I don't have any room for her.

四间卧室已经住了七口人了

I already have seven people in four bedrooms.

-看  又打家庭牌  - 恭喜你 你可以重温家庭的温馨了

There it is-- the "I have a family" card.  - Congratulations.You can reproduce.

我们都为你感到激动

We're all thrilled for you.

为什么你不能把她接回去?

Why can't you take her?

你离婚后得到一栋大房子

You are in that huge house all by yourself

现在就你一个人住  - 我和戴夫才刚分开

that you got from the divorce.  - Dave and I are just separated.

我们还有机会重归于好

There's a good chance that he's moving back in,

- 但是妈妈在 他就不能回来 - 哦 我们不能把她扔到大街上去

But not if mom is living there. - Well,We can't just throw her out on the street.

我赞成

I can.

我的医生说

My therapist said

是时候让我多一点个人主义了

It's time for me to be a little more "lydia-centric."

我真想见见这个混蛋

I really wanna meet this jackass.

好吧  我们都有自己的理由

Okay, we all have our excuses,

但是事情总要解决

But we gotta figure something out.

别这样 她是我们的妈妈

Come on. She is our mother.

她是吗?

Is she?

从我有记忆起  她就从不像个妈

She never acted like one, not that I can remember.

我倒记得  她醉醺醺地出席我的毕业典礼

I remember she showed up drunk to my graduation,

还是穿的便服

Wearing a housecoat.

不错  但重要的是她去了

Okay, but the point is, she went.

记不记得有次圣诞节

Remember that one christmas?

我们下了楼  发现妈妈在圣诞树下

And we came down, and there was mom under the tree,

倒在我们没开封的礼物中间醉得不省人事

Passed out drunk in the middle of all of our unwrapped toys.

弄得我的拉格蒂安娃娃一身薄荷松子酒的味道

My Raggedy Ann smelled like peppermint schnapps.

她不是完美的  一点不假

Okay, she wasn't perfect, clearly.

但是她给了我们生命

But she gave birth to us.

我们从她那获得生命 现在她需要我们了

We owe her our lives, and now that she needs us,

我们不能就这么把她拒之门外

We can't just turn our back on her.

我知道我应该假装内疚 但我根本不内疚

I know I'm supposed to feel guilty, but I don't.

我也不内疚

I don't either.

听上去你们像是在说你们不在乎她

It's like you're saying you don't care about her.

一点都不?

At all?

我不知道怎么会这样

And I don't under stand that.

那个... 如果你很在乎

Well... If you care so much,

那这个问题的答案就很明显了 不是吗?

Then the answer to the problem is sorta obvious, isn't it?

我们可以出钱

We can help with money.

我可以每月寄100美元给你

I can send you $100 a month.

我不需要你们的钱

I don't need your money.

我自己一个人能照顾好妈妈

I can take care of my mother all by myself.

勒奈特...

Lynette...

你们能做的是...

Here's how you can help--

近几年内不要再来我这

Don'tvisit for the next few years,

因为很有可能

Cause it seems fairly likely

直到那时我还在恨你们

I won't have stopped hating you by then.

我想她是在下逐客令

I guess that's her way of asking us to leave.

妈妈  外婆要去哪里?

Mom, where's grandma going?

走了?

Going?

等等

Wait.

那是什么

What's that?

加布

Gaby!

来  让他坐这

Here. Sit him here.

哦 天啊

你想杀了我

You tried to kill me.

哦 我又回来了 对吧

Well, I came back for you, didn't I?

- 你在想什么?! - 哦 我以为你要杀了我

What were you thinking?!  - Well, I thought you were trying to kill me.

我只是想和你谈谈，

I was just trying to talk to you,

看我们是否还有机会

See if we still had a chance.

我看到的是你还在纠缠那个人

I see that you're still screwing this guy.

他来我的船上干什么

And what the hell is he doing on my boat?!

你是说  救了你一命都不算?

You mean, besides saving your life?

这是个大错误 伙计

That was a big mistake, buddy.

好吧

Oh, right.

是啊 你就是那个说过

Yeah, you're the guy that said

要是有人搞了你老婆

If anyone messed with your woman,

你就用你的钱让他们消失

That you'd use your money to make 'em disappear.

但现在只有你和我

But right now it's just you and me.

没了银行卡你还有什么能耐

So how tough are you without your A.T.M. Card?

我料到是这样

That's what I figured.

维克托

Aah! Victor!

上帝啊

Oh, my god!

维克托! 哦 哦 我的天!

Victor! Oh! Oh, my god!

快点 起来

Come on. Get up! Hey. Hey.

起来  我想看看刀插进你身体时

Get up. I w Ann a see the look on your face

你脸上是什么表情

When the knife goes in.

哦 我很擅长这个

Oh, I'm getting pretty good at that.

好了 我们再把他救上来一次

Okay, let's pull him back in again.

- 什么 你疯了吗 - 哦 我们把他绑起来好了 这样他就不会惹麻烦了

What, are you crazy?!  - Oh,We'll just tie him up so he doesn't cause any trouble.

维克托

Victor!

他去哪了?  - 维克托

Where'd he go?  - Victor!

维克托  维克托

Victor! Victor!

也许我们应该回去再看看

Maybe we should go back out and look some more.

我们找了6个小时了  他死了

We looked for six hours. He's gone.

天啊  我们把他杀了

Oh, My God. We killed him.

那算自卫对吗

It was self-defense, right?

- 我是说 他想杀了我们 - 我们没法证明

I mean, he was trying to kill us. We can't prove that.

太糟了 加布

This is bad, Gaby .

哦 当人们发现我们跟他在那条船上 就...

Oh, when people find out we were on that boat with him, it...

也许没人会发现

Maybe they won't.

什么意思?

What do you mean?

除了你  没人知道我是和维克托在一起

No one but you knows I was with Victor.

我就说他一个人出去的

I'll say he went out alone.

我告诉他  我要离开他

I told him I was leaving him,

然后他很沮丧  甚至想自杀

And he was depressed, suicidal,even.

只有一个问题...

Only one problem--

船在这里

The boat's right here.

那么也许船得自己...

Then maybe the boat needs to go back out...

开回去

alone.

无论你现在怎么想  我可以解释

Whatever you're thinking, I can explain.

我认为你是个瘾君子还是个大骗子

I'm thinking that you're a drug addict and a liar,

- 说说你为什么不是 - 苏珊 听着…

So say something that's not that. - Susan, listen--

跟我一起生活这么难受吗

Is it so horrible living with me?

我的意思是 我是不是让你这么痛苦

I mean, do I make you so miserable

要是不麻醉自己 你根本无法面对我?

That you can't even face me without numbing the pain?

当然不是

Of course not.

我爱你

I love you.

哦 如果你爱我 你就不会这么做!

Well, if you did, you wouldn't be doing this!

我的意思是 天啊 麦克 我们的孩子就快出生了

I mean, My God, Mike , we have a baby on the way!

我现在能说话吗?

Can I say something now?

当然 说啊 哦 我该看着你的眼睛吗?

Sure, go ahead. Oh, should I look you in the eyes?

这能让你说谎时更容易点吗

Does it make it easier for you to lie?

我没告诉你...

I didn't tell you...

这些药的事情 是我不想让你内疚

about the pills 'cause I didn't want you to feel guilty.

我会内疚?

Me feel guilty?

是的

Yeah.

我为麦克卢斯基夫人装热水器的时候

When I put in that water heater for McCluskey ,

是真的扭伤了肩膀

I really wrenched my shoulder,

医生说我应该休息  但我没有

And the doctor told me I should take a break, but I didn't

因为那天我们知道你怀孕了

Because that was the day we found out you were pregnant.

而从那以后  我听到的都是

And from then on, all I have heard about

婴儿车座  手推童车和1万美元的幼儿园

Are car seats and strollers and $10,000 preschools.

所以  这听上去并不是

You know, it didn't seem like

我把工作放下的好时机

a really good time for me to quit working.

麦克  我们不需要那些的

Mike, we don't need any of that stuff.

是的

Yeah.

你现在是这样说

You say that now.

但是当本杰明·豪治上哈佛了

But when Benjamin Hodge is in harvard,

而我们的孩子还像他爸一样只是个水管工...

And our kid's just a plumber like his dad...

我只是希望能给他

I just want to be able to give him

我从未得到过的东西

The advantages I never got.

天啊  他唯一需要的

God, the only advantage he needs

就是一个不用这些药物的健康父亲

Is to have a healthy dad who's not doing this.

你说得对

You're right.

我明白了  好吗

I get it. Okay?

我不会再吃了

I'm done.

我很想相信你  只是...

I w Ann a believe you. It's just...

瘾君子都是说谎高手

That addicts are good at lying.

是的

Yeah.

好吧

All right...

这样如何

How about this?

现在你相信我了?

You believe me now?

谢谢

Thank you.

欺骗...

Deception--

存在于每个美满的家庭

You find it in all the best homes.

父母依靠它来应付好奇的孩子...

Parents rely on it when dealing with inquisitive children...

女人用它来保守大大小小的秘密

Women use it to help keep secrets--big and small.

情人们需要用它

Lovers need it

来掩盖棘手的意外

to cover up inconvenient accidents.

为什么人们都选择欺骗?

Why do people resort to deception?

因为它是唾手可得的工具

Because it's a handy tool

能帮我们得到

that helps get us

我们正需要的东西

exactly what we'relooking for.