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The Italian who went to Malta

1: One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. 

2: go to the toilet. 

1: no, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. 

2: you'd better not piss on the plate, you son of a bitch. 

1: I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna me bitch !!

Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. 

2: everyone wants to fock. 

1: no, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. 

2: you'd better not fock on the table, you son of a bitch.

1: So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. 

2: go to toilet. 

1: no, you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. 

2: you'd better not shit on the bed, you son of a bitch.

1: I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say

2: "Peace on you".

1: piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!!!

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