原文：Is Your Personality Flawed? Learn the 7 Ways to Be More Likable
来源：Lifehack
翻译：叫我NANA就好了
I study great conversationalists for a living. The best conversationalists are all very likable. The reason many people struggle to acquire/maintain friendships, progress through careers, or find romance is often the result of one thing: their personalities are flawed.
The seven most likable personality traits are listed below. As you read each one, honestly assess whether you fall closer to the likable trait or the opposite side of the spectrum.
翻译：我研究非常健谈的人在生活中的样子，我发现那些非常健谈的人都是非常讨喜的人。许多人为了获得/保持友谊，通过职业发展，或寻求浪漫的原因往往是因为：他们的个性有缺陷。
七个最讨人喜欢的个性特征如下。当你读每一个，请诚实地评估下，你是接近讨喜的特质还是与之相反。
一、Be Humble/谦卑
Admit your mistakes and don’t brag. Give others credit. Embracing your flaws is disarming. People will warm up to you quickly and more easily identify with you.Don’t be arrogant.
Example: “He’s an amazing artist. I still struggle drawing triangles!”
翻译：承认你的错误，不要吹牛。诚信待人。接受你的缺陷可以消除敌意。人们会更快的与你熟悉起来并且更容易认同你。不要傲慢。
例如：“他真是个了不起的艺术家，而我还在挣扎画三角形！
二、Be Caring And Unselfish/关心和无私
Care about others and what they are saying, doing, and feeling. Ask follow-up questions, and reference something they said in the past. Share and relate to their feelings.Don’t be cold or self-centered.
Example: “You mentioned last month you were thinking of _____, did you end up doing that?”
翻译：关注别人的一言一行和感受，问一些相关的问题，提及他们过去说的一些事情。分享一些同他们感受有关的事情。不要冷漠或者以自我为中心。
例如：你上个月提到你想要做____,你最后做了吗？
三、Be Positive/积极
Not many people enjoy hanging out withDebbie DownerorEeyore. You increase your odds of being likeable by generally remaining optimistic and looking for the good in life. You will see more good in things simply by trying to see more good. Avoid complaining too much.Don’t be too cynical, negative, or bitter.
Example: “At least we were able to _____.”
翻译：很多人不喜欢和消极的人一起。如果你保持乐观的态度，你讨人喜欢的概率将会增大，并且你会看到生命中更多美好的事情，你会更努力看到更多美好的事情。避免抱怨太多。不要太愤世嫉俗，消极或痛苦。
例如：“至少我们能_____。”
四、Be Enthusiastic/热情
Give your words and expressions some life! You don’t have to be a cheerleader, but if someone tells you some good news, be excited for them. Put some feeling and energy in your voice. Remember, if you aren’t adding energy, you may be unintentionally subtracting from it.Don’t be an Energy Vampire.
Example: “Iloveyour kitchen… it reminds me of _____.”
翻译：分享一些你的生活体验吧！你不必要像拉拉队队长那样，但如果有人告诉你一些好消息，请为他们感到高兴。让你的声音里多一些情感和活力。记住，如果你无精打采，你可能会在无意中失去活力。不要成为一个吸食你精力的吸血鬼。
例如：“我喜欢你的厨房…这让我想起了_____。”
五、Be Goal Oriented And Passionate/目标明确，充满激情
Have direction in life and be able to share your goals. Working towards goals will increase your inner confidence. People are drawn to success and passion. Develop hobbies and passions. Talk about them.Don’t be overly lazy and uninspiring.
Example: “This weekend, I’m volunteering for _____ / running a _____ / trying to build a _____.”
翻译：有人生的方向，并分享你的目标。朝目标努力会增加你内在的信心。人们被成功和激情所吸引。培养爱好和激情并和别人谈论它们。不要太懒和，也不要对任何事都不感兴趣。
例如：“这个周末，我志愿为_____ /运行一个_____ /试图培养一个_____。”
六、Be Playful/做一个有趣的人
Lighten up! Humor and playfulness are critical to exceptional conversation, but also the hardest to achieve.For now, don’t be too serious all the time.
Example: “Even if I miss the game, I avoid everyone until I can watch it. I’m actually good at avoiding everyone. If there was a career for professional avoiders, I’d be a very wealthy man by now!”
翻译：活泼起来！幽默和有趣是一段对话的关键，但也是最难达到的。从现在开始，不要一直那么严肃。
例如：“即使我错过了比赛，我也可以回避了每个人，直到不得已碰见。我其实很善于回避每个人。如果有一个职业是关于专业躲避人的，那我现在就是一个非常富有的人了！
七、Be Flexible/灵活
Adapt to changing environments. Don’t turn cranky when something doesn’t go your way. Being flexible means being easy-going and going with the flow of conversation instead of stopping it. Play along with silly jokes.Don’t be rigid or defensive with friends.
Example: “It’s closed? That’s okay, I bet we can find some cool ____ over at _____ too!”
翻译：适应不断变化的环境。不要因为事情没有按照你的预期发展就变得情绪不稳定。灵活点意味着要随和，顺着对话的进程来而不是打断它。开一些愚蠢的小玩笑，不要对你的朋友太严格，戒备心太重。
例如：“它关闭了吗？那好吧，我敢打赌，我们可以找到一些很酷的____在_____太！“
Did you discover any traits you need to work on? Are there multiple areas for growth? If you aren’t sure, it helps to ask a friend or confidant. Honestly assessing your strengths and weaknesses now is crucial to improving in the future. When I work with my clients, I always start with non-verbal skills and the seven likable traits. Personality traits are easiest to assess, tweak, and evaluate. Spend some time over the next week thinking about these traits as you interact with others. Systematically work on improving one of the seven traits. Notice what happens. Notice how the other person reacts.
翻译：你发现其他需要你努力的特质了吗？是否存在多个成长的空间？如果你不确定的话，那么去请教你的朋友或知己将会非常有帮助。诚实地评估你的优势和弱势是至关重要的。当我和我的客户工作的时候，我总是从非语言技能和文中提到的那7点特质出发。性格特征是最容易评估和调整的。花一些时间思考你跟别人互动时候的这些特质，全面系统地改进七大特征之一，注意发生了什么。注意别人是如何反应的。
If you want to become more likable, you need to emulate the best. Compared to losing weight or getting rich, improving your personality is easy. You just need to try.
