文/十月云
Do you think you have ever been wasted by yourself in the past years? ...
If your answer is yes, I would like to say it's a common situation when we are young. Sometimes I think it might be a subject that worth a lifetime study. If your answer is no, congratulations you already did a great job!
When I started my internship in IBM, I was assigned to a big commercial project called Samsung. Our main job was to PS the image of Samsung products and upload them to their website. Most of us thought it was very simple and just left us little space to develop ourselves.
Around 1 month later, there was an exciting news for us - a core software development project would be transferred from Slovakia to Dalian. There were 4 regulars already on board for this project. They were looking for another 2 interns.
Since this core project and our project belonged to a same executive manager, he decided to choose 2 interns from our team.
Most of us were looking forward to this opportunity and we prepared for the upcoming crucial interviews separately…
Guess what was the result? I won the opportunity together with another intern. I was so excited when I got the confirmation! I even thought it might change my life~ Later I realized that it indeed changed my life, but in some unexpected way...
This project was to develop and maintain a core system for our global business unit. Our main job was to design new functions of this system and to realize the functions by coding.
I was full of passion. Although my coding skill was not good at that time. I was young. I thought I could learn by doing. There was a master architect in our team. I can learn from him. Later I could also become a good programmer.
My coding career began…
I worked hard and studied hard. I dedicated to each task assigned to me. Sometimes it was easy to complete. But for most of the times, they were quite difficult to me. I asked our architect from time to time and he helped me out from time to time.
As time went by, my coding skill grew up a little. While there were more difficult tasks waiting for me. I was not happy. I felt tired almost every day. I could rarely get the sense of success.
I struggled inside: "what should I do? I don't like programming. The deep logical thinking is not my strength. Should I talk to my manager and say I don't like coding and I cannot do it well... No, no. It's too embarrassing. I don't want to be a loser, someone who easily gives up.” In addition, I'm a considerate girl. I didn't want to put my manager into a difficult situation. If I quit, he must find another one in a short time...
One morose day is called a bad day. Lots of morose days are called abyss. My health condition was getting bad, I easily caught a cold and got a fever.
I worked as a programmer for around 2 years. I was exhausted but just a normal developer. After 2 years there was a new position in our team about analysis, I changed my role.
From then on, I gradually climbed up from the morose abyss. I'm not an excellent programmer. But I could be a good analyst or tester or facilitator or trainer. There are a lot of things I can do well without exhausting myself. Why should I treat myself in that cruel way before? Am I an idiot?
After I changed my role, I became happier. Not only in the office but also at home. My work performance was also better. I received "Special Thanks" from management team almost every year.
My health condition was better as well. Now you can see the real me - a mild person with a lot of energy.
This is my real story. It told me: Coding is a waste of myself. Stopping it made my life better.
My dear fellow toastmasters. Ladies and gentlemen. I believe that everybody comes to this world with its own exclusive mission. What we should do is - First, to find it. Second, to accomplish it.
Stop wasting yourself, you will be more happy and healthy.
Stop wasting yourself, you will deliver much more wealth to this world.
Stop wasting yourself, remember, it's not just a waste to yourself, it's also a waste to the whole world.
