22/08/2021

Dear diary,

I had dinner at home this evening. I ate corn and a little bit of chicken. It has been a long time that I haven’t eaten out - long enough that I even can’t remember.

Wait, something came to mind right now.

I happened to think of a time when I could hardly eat anything and almost threw up just after a small bite of sesame pancake. The sense that I was vomiting was not fun, physically, while I would say it gave me a sense of consolation, spiritually. Afterwards, I started to wonder how come? Was I abusing myself?

Well, the answer was absolutely yes. Further to say, I wished I would have made feeling to puke before eating something into a habit so that I couldn’t need to worry about weight gain again.

Never mind. Forget it.

After dinner, I felt more wonderful than before.

While having dinner, I thought about the things that happened today. No big issue. But for me, some matters should be regarded as landmarks in the particular life stage that I’m going through – of mine of fighting against a devil.

Somehow, I sent teacher D texting messages in appreciation of her efforts to help me prepare the test. We went through six samples in today's lesson, but I knew for sure that was far less enough to take me to where I should be. She was immensely helpful, so I said what I mean. Well, whether it may or may not be true was none of my business.

It seemed to me that I have never got a time when I talked with my family about how our day went at dinner. Perhaps we had never done that ever before.

Needless to say, there is only a very small possibility that we would have a pleasant conversation over dinner.

But I myself, should at least acknowledge my luck of the draw of never having the chance to be left skipping any meal every day from morning till night.

So, do you think I’m lucky?