导读

1. What does “entitlement” mean? Can you give an example to explain it?

Entitlement is a kind of narcissistic bubble. It is impervious, and it is a failed strategy.

For example, people who feel entitled view every occurrence in their life as either an affirmation of, or a threat to, their own greatness. If something good happens to them, it’s because of some amazing feat they accomplished. If something bad happens to them, it’s because somebody is jealous and trying to bring them down a notch.

2. What’s the point of telling Jimmy’s story?

People like Jimmy is entitled and become so fixated on feeling good about themselves. A person like Jimmy hides from his problems by making up imagined successes for himself at every  turn. But the true measurement of self-worth is not how a person feels about her positive experiences, but rather how she feels about her negative experiences.

3. Do you think you are special? What’s wrong with feeling you are sepcial?

I used to think I am unique in the world.

The wrong of feeling special is the fact that you and your problems are actually not privileged in their severity or pain. There’s no such thing as a personal problem.

4. If you are not special, how can we achieve greatness?

To understand that we’re not already great—we are mediocre, we are average—and that we could be so much better with improvement.

Words and expressions

1. The guy was always rolling, always on, and if you gave him an inch of conversational daylight, he’d pulverize you about how world spinning his work was, how brilliant his latest ideas were, and he’d name-drop so much it felt like you were talking to a tabloid reporter.

pulverize: destroy completely

仿写: The earthquake pulverize everything of this area.

tabloid: a newspaper that has small pages, short articles, and a lot of photographs.

2. Jimmy did make some money, although it was usually through the sketchiest of means, like selling another person’s business idea as his own, or finagling a loan from someone, or worse, talking someone into giving him equity in their start-up.

finagle: to obtain something by using unusual or unfair methods

仿写: He finagled me out of my property.

3. Entitled people exude a delusional degree of self-confidence.

exude: make apparent by one's mood or behavior.

仿写: She exudes an air of relaxed calm.

4. Mr. Price sits down and quietly rummages through my things, checking pockets, unzipping zippers, shaking out my gym clothes and placing them on the floor.

rummage: to search for something

仿写: She rummaged in the desk drawers for her notebook.

5. My temples pulsate as blood floods my brain and face.

temples: 太阳穴

pulsate: to make strong sounds or movements

仿写: I could see the veins in his neck pulsating.

6. It takes just as much energy and delusional self-aggrandizement to maintain the belief that one has insurmountable problems as that one has no problems at all.

insurmountable: too large or difficult to dealwith

仿写: The cultural difference proved an insurmountable barrier.

Reflection

This entitlement plays out in one of two ways:

1.  I’m awesome and the rest of you all suck, so I deserve special treatment.

2.  I suck and the rest of you are all awesome, so I deserve special treatment.

作者在本章举了两个例子，第一个是Jimmy, 认为自己不需要付出就可以获得令人羡慕的一切，比如金钱，自尊等。他只看到了自己的优点，忽视本身的缺点，没有坦诚地接受潜在的问题，所以，他所谓的成功终究是一个气泡，会被无情的现实戳破。第二个Mark，十三岁因藏匿毒品被发现，之后被勒令休学，被父母监管，随后经历父母离异的家庭变故，性情大变。他放纵自己，不思进取，靠亲戚朋友的救济。他认为别人的救济理所当然因为他比任何人都不幸。

It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.

The deeper the pain, the more helpless we feel against our problems, and the more entitlement we adopt to compensate for those problems.

You will have a growing appreciation for life’s basic experiences: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about.

作者因此告诉我们，我们都是普通人，不要把自己当成特殊人物。我们要对自己有信心，有恰当的定位，不需要把自己的经历，尤其是那些痛苦和不幸，包装成史无前例，自我贬低和放弃。通过不断的自我完善，自我修炼，我们也能成就更好的自我，享受幸福安逸的每天。