Love is complicated. Relationships are complicated. Life is messy.
When you decide to be with someone it's because that person fits into the ever evolving jigsaw that is your life.
And if you love someone you always feel unworthy and fortunate that they love you back. That that person decided that amongst all of humanity past and present you are the person they want to love. That choice physically hurts you because you want the best for the other and you know, you know you are not the best.
It's easy to ask: Why me? There are so many better options out there ... Look at my flaws and my mistakes and my limitations. Look at my body, my job, and my temper ... There must be someone better out there
And you can fall into a trap of fear or a trap of self-loathing. Or of trying to become what you think he wants ...
And so let me answer that question: why not you?
You can't read her mind. You can't understand how you fit into the jigsaw puzzle that is her life. All you can see is that she wants to be with you.
And that is all that matters.
That right now your jigsaw puzzle fits her and hers fits you. And what happens over time for relationships that last (and mine has lasted 20 years) is that at some point in time the puzzle of our independent lives becomes one puzzle and everything else fits into it. And losing that other puzzle piece is like throwing all the pieces in the air and starting all over again
We are all deserving of love and we are all unworthy and blessed when we are loved.
Why someone is with us is a mystery. And we must respect the mystery and never question it. Because there is a choice and that choice is all that really mattered.
