Losing one's core identity is extremely painful. In my case, my core identity is centered on being smart. I have always defined myself, and been defined, as being smart. The things that I achieved, the way I valued myself, is related to my intelligence. It has been one of the strongest and most controllable aspects of my life and value-system. If my life was a table, me being smart would be the biggest leg that has the most influence in keeping the table balanced. Many of the other legs, such as friendship and health, are determined by it. And other less-related legs--family, hobbies, are so weak that they cannot support the top by themselves. So, my only way out was to work hard to become the smart one again. Only by doing this could I regain my inner balance and peace, and my respect for myself. Work, work, work. Fake it, believe it, until you become it. You belong here. You are owning it. You are reading it and learning it.
Reestablishing core identity
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