Hello, to continue my coaching story, for the executive with whom we defined the coaching objectives :
What resonates to me :
I empathized him and met his developmental stage where my coachee was. It proved to be workable and receptive to him.
Moving forward :
After setting out the coaching objectives, the sessions went on pretty well. At one session, he shared with me "Lao Shi 老师, I only call other Lao Shi if I respect him like I respect Jack Ma.
You did not teach me anything new and I also have the practice of self-reflection. I am amazed that how you inspired me to connect the dots and a new picture came up vividly 眼前一亮. .I seem to find a new direction to go. I admit that I was somehow 骄傲及任性 arrogant and not caring for others. I hated to collaborate with people I did not like, even worse, I set up hurdles sometime to teach them a lesson. I knew I could be more visionary, but there's a saying "if you're not in the position, don't bother to take that resposnsibility 不在其位不谋其政".
My previous self-reflection was not focusing but confining based on my own prejudice". I learn now how to be more inclusive with other stakeholders when reflecting and this will make it more effective!
Then we went on identifying what could be his new attitude and actions.
He also saw himself emotionally over-reactive when not treated respectfully. We defined the 3 second breathing approach and he practiced and found useful.
Guess what, his collaboration with other department heads improved and he gained the support of other functions as well as his boss. The overall annual result were highly exceeded.
He finally got promoted to the director position he aspired for 2 years ago. He engaged me once again for his on boarding coaching in the new position. [Twirl]
My reflection on the story:
1. Attending to the client situation and embrace what it is rather than wishing the client to perform at his role. His capability will grow naturally from his initiative rather being told.
Also consider the "time release" effects that may occur long after coaching has ended. from the article "Evidence Based Coaching: A New Direction For Increasing Coaching, from Dr. Laske"
2. Use of self that I learn and practice from EBC program. When I was praised, my first reaction was happy and somehow lost. Thanks to my self-awareness of being a coach, I put my coach hat back and continue with feed forward dialogue focusing on client's success.
3. Supporting the client to connect the strayed dots is important and it requires the ability to stay centered and focused, on the client's agenda.
4. Quite a lot of best available knowledge used during the coaching process: humanitic psychology, IQ & EQ, behavioral therapy, Appreciative Enquiry AI under Communication
4. All these capabilities can be learnt and practiced, and in a systematc and congruent way. I found that coaching skill is important, the use of self or coach presence, is as well the key to be a successful executive coach. Besides, knowing your clients in the chinese context is another essential element.
If you are interested in knowing more about EBC program, please PM me.
Keystone will launch an English EBC program, starting from
November 16, 2017.
