I don’t feel good today, being so upset and depressed. Here, as usual I am trying to write down the reasons to help me get out of this negative mood.

Basically, the first reason is because my period is coming soon, which is definitely the base of all the sad mood. We girls know exactly this thing will affect us mentally, giving us negative thoughts without specific reasons. That is, we don’t know why but just act this way, so it’s a little bit helpless.

Apart from the inevitable reason, the following reasons are so reasonable and crucial.

I get so many academical things to be done in the following weeks, including project issue, assignment issue and mid term, in one word, they are all study related, study is such a long-period struggling thing. For the project issue, my responsibility is to program the model of predicting estate selling price, this may not be very hard but definitely will cost much time, time now is the most valuable resource, I don’t know when to fully focus on it while I need to take care other courses as well, which causes the anxiety. The assignment and mid term issue are all about the course of financial engineering, assignment is required to submit before tomorrow night and mid term is in the next Thursday. I don’t fully finish the assignment and don’t prepare well for the mid term, so you see why I am anxious now.

Actually, these things are not too much to solve, the main reason is that the courses contents are beyond my knowledge, I cannot foresee what I can do or what kind of problems may occur, unknowns cause fear in advance, thus I am so fear of I can’t handle them within the limited short time before deadlines.

So I say the time limitation, now let me talk the final part that disappoints me. In the last  two weeks, I believe there were much time for me to deal with those issues earlier, but I didn’t. I didn’t do them not because I was totally hanging out or something, I still devoted myself into learning. I tried to figure out what I have done, you know the answer hurts me. I done something and also sometime was proud of myself in the last two weeks, but the conclusion is that it was not enough for the requirements.

I don’t want to deny my previous efforts and just attempt show the truth apparently, try to ease myself and then hold a pleasure mood to solve all the problems.

Ok, that’s it. I don’t feel better and want to go home for a sleep, but there is a course to take this night.