我曾悲伤的爱过这个世界
致纪伯伦
“我曾七次鄙视自己的灵魂:
——纪伯伦
第一次,当它本可进取时,却故作谦卑;
第二次,当它在空虚时,用爱欲来填充;
第三次,在困难和容易之间,它选择了容易;
第四次,它犯了错,却借由别人也会犯错来宽慰自己;
第五次,它自由软弱,却把它认为是生命的坚韧;
第六次,当它鄙夷一张丑恶的嘴脸时,却不知那正是自己面具中的一副;
第七次,它侧身于生活的污泥中,虽不甘心,却又畏首畏尾。”
“Seven times have I despised my soul:
——Kahlil Gibran
The first time when I saw her being meek that she might attain height.
The second time when I saw her limping before the crippled.
The third time when she was given to choose between the hard and the easy, and she chose the easy.
The fourth time when she committed a wrong, and comforted herself that others also commit wrong.
The fifth time when she forbore for weakness, and attributed her patience to strength.
The sixth time when she despised the ugliness of a face, and knew not that it was one of her own masks.
And the seventh time when she sang a song of praise, and deemed it a virtue.”
伪七次
我曾七次鄙视自己的灵魂
它得不到,却只敢说不想要的时候,此为其一
它敷衍了事,却说无能为力,此为其二
它用漂亮的言辞掩饰自己犯下的过失,此为其三
它以善妒的心来巧言公平,此为其四
它懦弱无能,自以为大方善良,此为其五
它怀疑实质,畏首畏尾,不敢成为第一个质疑者,此为其六
它脚踩无望的沟壑,期望着无名的恩赐,此为其七
皮囊和灵魂,乏善可陈的人生。
灵魂啊,你配不上我的皮囊。皮囊如斯。
灵魂接受了皮囊的日渐消残。
皮囊啊,放下你的千篇一律,回头看你万里挑一的灵魂。
你的灵魂有香气,那是皮囊啊。
皮囊鄙夷灵魂背弃自己。
灵魂啊,我在世间经历各种风吹雨打,你才得以安放。
皮囊和灵魂,扰扰攘攘。灵魂饱满,皮囊渐残。
皮囊不缀在有丘壑的灵魂。
多少个夜深人静,我们可鄙灵魂背弃自己,又对疲惫不堪的灵魂满怀悲悯,饱含歉意。