umm... good news,i went back to the classroom where i left my book and luckily to find my How to Win Friends and Influence People lying there patiently. So I'm gonna continue on this unfinished topic.
This book is constructed by four major parts,“fundamental Techniques in Handing People”“Six Ways to Make People Like You”“How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”“Be a Leader : How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment”,which are basically progressive ways of “handling people”.
The first two parts are methods of how to gain people's favor in order to get them prepared to contribute to you. Nine methods are mentioned,including "lavish sincere praise"“be a good listener”“remember people's name”,ect. Those things are all way too simple and trivial,sound so basic that probably everybody has heard of during their past lives but hardly anybody paid attention to the importance or had put them into practice. The essential rule hides behind these theories is also simple——let people feel they're special and important. Everyone is the most important person in their own perspective of view,and they will believe in this till their days arrived. What you need to to is simply showing them that you think they are right about this by language and actions,because most people refuse to show their kindness upon others on this topic,once they get their opinions agreed,they will always be there for you.
The latter two parts are more technical,including twenty—one skills to get people where you want them to be and what you want them to do. Some statements are quite interesting,for instance,“the best way to win an argument is to avoid it in the beginning”“let the person feel the idea is his or hers” .It's interesting because I've never heard about them before and it usually means some sacrifice of our own beliefs——everyone is the most important to themselves——but it works excellently perfect.To be honest,in my point of view,all this book is keeping repeat one rule,the same as the rule i summaried in the last paragraph,letting people feel they are important and special.
Human needs to put themselves in a major position because we are built this way to survive in the war of evolution and brutal competitions among our own kind.It's not to blame and even necessary for a specie to thrive and for an individual to inherit its genetics.But after reading this book,i learnt some indispensable skills for “manipulateling” future social relations,but more,I'm quite shocked by the selfishness inside human souls.
Yes I've said it's not to blame,but at best in the perspective of the criterion of incivilized animals.
Animals though,ants put regulations and the queen ahead of themselves and sacrifice for others' benefits in a dreadful fire.
What's our value in this period of generation we live in?We try our heart out and bleed for human development.And if viewing this through a tiny window of the reflection of lives of every ordinary individuals,then it's gonna be,helping others.
