Hope in Limbo

Most of the time, Zhang Zhiliang believes that his fiancee who is on board the mysteriously disappearing flight MH370, is still alive. “Unless there’s a physical proof of her death, I will never believe she’s dead. I will wait for her and we are getting married.” Zhiliang posted a microblog on sinaweibo.com on the one-year anniversary of MH370’s missing.

Unexpected Tragedy

On March 8, 2014, When 28-year old Tianjin photographer Zhang Zhiliang arrived at the Beijing Capital Airport, he expected to reunion with his fiancee,Doudou (alias) who just came back from her business trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. However, upon his arrival at the airport, he saw a group of people screaming, crying and curling up on the floor. A ground crew member walked to him and said, “Sir, if you are here to pick up someone on board MH370. I am so sorry that the plane has been losing contact for about six hours.”

For the next 17 days, Zhiliang and Doudou’s parents who came to Beijing after learning the tragedy stayed in the Metropark Lido Hotel, the holding place Malaysia Airlines arranged for the families of 153 Chinese passengers on board MH370. Everyday, the families attended the communication conferences. But instead of providing some concrete details about the searching process, the spokesman from Malaysia Airlines only told that the plane was so far just missing.

On March 15th, the spokesman from Malaysian Government claimed that the plane might be hijacked. Zhiliang thought there was still hope, at least his fiancee might be alive. However, On March 24th, 9 o’clock in the night, Malaysia Airlines sent  text messages to all the families, informing that it was highly possible that MH370 had already crashed and none of the 239 passengers survived.

“Everything seemed to cave in top of me,” Zhiliang recalled, eyes watering with tears. “But, as always, I DO NOT BELIEVE. THEY ARE LIARS! If there was a crash, where was the wreckage? If all passengers died, where were the bodies? There are so many questions unresolved, how dare they assume that the plane crashed!” Zhiliang stared at the ground with his teeth set and fists heavily punching on the wall.

Unanswered Questions

Zhiliang carefullytook Doudou’s photo out of his wallet. It showed a tall, slim girl with long black hair, smiling brightly in a garden. “She’s the prettiest girl I have ever met in my whole life,” He smiled as tears fell on the photo. “But where are you…How could you leave me, you naughty girl...”

But along pain and sorrow, there’s more and more anger burning inside his heart.

On May 1st, 2014, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak announced that the plane were highly possible to sank in Indonesian Ocean. He persuaded the families of passengers to face the reality and started preparing for the funeral.

That day, Zhiliang posted a microblog: “ Shame! Shame, Malaysia Airline! Shame, Malaysian Government! Stop lying and hiding! Unless there’s an evidence, we will never believe you! I will never grieve without seeing my fiancee’s body!” This blog had been liked by 258,600 people with 127,432 reposts around China.

On May 15th, 2014, Zhiliang, along with 50 other family members of the passengers on board MH370,lined up in front of the gate of Malaysian Embassy in Beijing .Among them, the eldest one was already 63 years old who lost five of her family members; the youngest one was only 5 years old who lost both his parents. They wore white caps and  red T-shirts bearing the yellow Chinese characters “MH370, come back home safely” on it, holding huge place cards in Chinese reading “ TRUTH, WE WANT THE TRUTH”.

“ For whole morning, we stood there calling out ‘Tell the truth! Show the evidence’,” Zhiliang recalled. “There’s a mixture of emotion, you know, anger, sorrow and frustration.” However, no one ever came out of that embassy building.

“There were many medias, CCTV, CNN, BBC, all those big names. But they let none of them in.” Zhiliang sighed. “We shouted and shouted until we were all extremely exhausted. But they never ever came out. They just IGNORED us.”

In the past year, no matter how busy he was, every two weeks, Zhiliang would travel to Beijing by high-speed rail. He silently stood in front of Malaysian Embassy, holding a place card filled with photos of his fiancee. There were always people passing by looking at him with sympathy. Some people encouraged and comforted him with hugs and words. Some just nodded at him.

“ I could barely remember how many hours I stood outside that cold building; how much money I spent on the high-speed rail; how many times I cry when seeing those happy couples passing by...” Zhiliang wrote in his blog. “I only want a reasonable explanation from Malaysian government. Where’s the plane? What had happened? Why they reported the missing so late? Everyone who lost his or her beloved ones in this tragedy need an answer!”

But these questions never get answered by anyone, even after a year.

Unbroken Hope

Most of the times last year, Zhiliang would silhouetted at the empty house which he had once planned to decorate with Doudou for their marriage.

“My parents, friends, colleagues and all the other people around tell me to accept the reality that Doudou will never come back,” Zhiliang said. “But I do not think so. There’s still hope. I would rather believe the plane is just missing.”

On his phone, Zhiliang showed the 589 we-chat messages he sent to Doudou in the past 12 months. “I miss you, darling, where are you?” “You must be playing hide-and-see with me, you naughty girl~” “Hey, I really miss you.” “Come back, please. Come back to me!” …There was no reply, but Zhiliang said he would keep sending it unless he was convinced that Doudou was dead.

March 8th, 2015,one year anniversary of the Missing of MH370. Zhiliang posted a video on his blog. In the chilly night, all of the families of the victims on board MH370 gathered together at Babaoshan, Beijing. They all wore the same White T-shirts with a blue MH370 on it. On the ground, there were hundreds of candles forming the shape of a huge heart symbolized heart. A young teenage girl carefully lit up the candles one by one. People started singing, there was sobbing inside.

“May you come back soon!” The group said. The candlelight flickered in the wind.

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