张踩玲说：“有一次和大胖媳妇（老公）出去玩，有人跟我搭讪、还摸了我的屁股，他一点反应都没有。我很生气，他却说‘你不是我的一个物件，我没有资格替你不开心’。原来我们小时候常听的那句‘别碰我的女人’是一句非常变态、不尊重女性主体性的话”。
这是一个采访视频的内容，但是，很奇怪，大部分人都听不懂张踩玲的话，只是一个劲说自己作为女孩子，还是要被男生保护着才行，又或者说女主就是个大女主什么的，似乎完全get 不到张踩玲在说什么。其实，人家在说一个中国人忽视的男女平等问题，也就是二极管思维之外的第三种可能，那就是平等协商后的和平共处，既不是听之任之，也不是我替你做主，而是商量后，两人达成的平等尊重，又或者建立边界感原则。
我们先来看看评论区几个典型的想法，譬如：浙江网友说：“保护自己的女人和尊重女性并不冲突。我不会允许陌生人摸我，我也希望我的男朋友对我有占有欲保护欲，在陌生人摸我的时候能站出来保护我。”福建网友也说：“如果我听到我的爱人对别人说‘别碰我的男人’，我一点都不觉得她是在物化我。[呲牙]”上海网友抖机灵说：“男子说，别碰我的老婆，对面说，你老婆不是私人物品，她是大家的[呲牙][呲牙][呲牙]”等等之类的评论数不胜数。
大概这就是统治几千年制度下，所形成的思想制度惯性了，但是海洋文明建立的是契约似的互信互惠，张踩玲的外国男友在等女友的一句态度明确的骂语，譬如“Fu*k you ，are you kidding me?”这时候男友自然站出来了。不然，外国男友只会认为，我们只是平等的男女朋友，我可以接受你的追求，也可以接受别人的追求，只要没有最终缔结妈粉，婚姻的契约，那就一切可以待选择。
国人的思想，很多时候要有一方完全主导才行，譬如“男主外女主内”“别碰我的女人”“你要为我好好读书”“你考30分对得起我吗？”等等，把人当工具来使用，你是主理外部事物的一个工具而已，你是我的发泄兽欲的工具，自然就缺少了人性。
说实话，这个平等互利的第三条路，我感觉绝不是一朝一夕能够培养成的，还需要自己修炼学习才成。建国初，我们也曾经喊出来“女人也能顶半边天”，有部电影就叫做Half The Sky，通过五个短片讲述了五个国家不同文化背景下的女性故事，通过中国、俄罗斯、印度、巴西、南非五国女导演的描绘，将传统思想对新时代女性的束缚、家庭因素对女性的羁绊等问题一一展现，这个电影还是给人带来深刻启发的，值得一观。
而且，很有意思的是，不论是中、俄、印，还是巴西和南非，传统文化都在社会中占领着一部分空间，巴西有当地的印第安人，南非也有传统的黑人，中俄印就更不用说了，传统文化根深蒂固。你要让美国来拍，还真不会拍，毕竟美国太大杂烩，没有一个传统意义上的思想。
最后，我打算分享一个很有趣的英文短视频内容，如下DGBG Iris：
Boy：Such a beautiful day!oh, oh, wow, that’s such a nice view!
Girl：oh, wow, it really is.
Boy: we have to capture this moment.
Girl: em, you should find someone to take a picture,
Boy: um，I……，Oh, excuse me?
Hunk: Yes, sir.
Boy: can you take a photo of us?
Hunk: Yeah, sure, sure.
Boy: Thank you so much.
Boy: ready? Oh, wait, the other side, Yeah,
Girl: Ready? Yeah.….yeah.
Hunk: three, two, one.
Girl: can we see it?
Hunk: Yeah , Actually, you asked the right person. I’m a photographer.
Boy: Oh, you’re a photographer?
Hunk: Yeah,!
Boy: oh, So cool.awesome!(see the mobile phone )Un, I think I ……
Hunk: You like it, right?
Boy: I, I don’t just like it, I love it.
Girl: I think it could be ……
Boy: Oh, it could be that, it’s great. Yah, thank you so much.
Hunk: Oh no problem. No problem!
Girl: thank you.
Boy: thank you. it’s amazing, I love it. I’m literally about to post it right now.
Girl: What do you mean? It’s so bad.
Boy: I know it’s so bad, but, I’m not gonna tell him the truth in his face, like, Look at him……so big! So what we’re gonna do is wait till he is gone. Okay?
Girl: ok!
Boy: And then, we’re gonna wait for the next person to walk by and ask them to photo, so he doesn’t kill us. You get what I’m saying.
Girl: Yeah,
Boy: Right?
Boy: Does that make sense?
Girl: Yeah,
Boy: you want to live to see our wedding, right? three, two, one. He’s gone.
Girl…
Boy: uh, hey! Can you take a photo of us?
Another guy: Yeah.sure, Yeah, no problem!
Boy: We do this thing where I spin her and I drop her. We do it everywhere!
Girl: We finish this thing! Yeah.okay, ready? Yeah. And…
Boy:all right.
Another guy: 3, 2, 1. All right, Got it, awesome!( but the hunk has stand beside him)
Boy: Hey.
Hunk: Hink I’m stupid huh ?
Boy: Do I think you’re stupid? No , never. I would never think you’re stupid.
Hunk: You told me you like it, So you just lied to me, huh?
Boy: I loved your photo. I just um, I was, um…..
Girl: He was blinking.
Boy: I was blinking.
Girl: Yeah.
Hunk: you waited for me to leave.So you can ask someone else to take a photo.
Boy: No , we weren’t, we weren’t waiting till you’re gone.
Hunk: No, this is what you did.
Boy: oh You—you are watching us when you were….
Hunk: Yeah, I was watching you when I was walking away. You told me you’re gonna post it, right?
Boy: Yeah, I posted it already.
Hunk: So you’re supposed to show me.you said you posted it. Right? show me right now, show me.
Boy: Okay, look, to be honest, I didn’t post it yet.I just wanted to wait till tomorrow cause it’s late.
Girl: Bad engagement time right now.
Boy and girl: Yeah, really bad engagement time.Bad engagement time.
Girl: So we are gonna wait until …
Boy: Yeah until like tomorrow.
Hunk: I move to this country to become a photographer.
Boy: Oh. Really?
Hunk: you know what you did? You crushed my dream.
Boy: It’s not like that, man .l just…
Hunk: And now I have to crush you.
Boy: No, look, man , you can work something now, just, give me, give me, give me a moment to, uh…(meanwhile, the mobile phone start to ring)Just show you that ….
Girl: what?…. The photographer just cancelled.
Boy: what do you mean? The wedding is this weekend.No.I mean…
Hunk: So you need a photographer this weekend.
Girl: No,
Boy: I think he’s a great….
Hunk: I will give you two options. I can’t be your photographer for that day.
Boy: What’s the second option?
Hunk: You won’t live to see your wedding.
Boy: I.
Girl: No.
Boy: Yes.
Girl: No.
Boy: Yes.
Girl: No….
视频的结尾就是，拍照拍得横七竖八的婚礼照片，显然，他两个小个子，在大块头的“摄影家”面前，丝毫不敢升起反抗之心，只能乖乖让蹩脚的“摄影家”成就他蹩脚的梦想。
实际上，视频讲的是一个关于移民和梦想的故事，有强迫有点搞笑，更多的是在反映一个“真实”的故事。
那这个英文小故事，和今天的二极管思维有什么关系呢？其实，我只是想说，除了生与死，还有第三个选择。一件事，永远有无数种结果，绝不是只有二选一，那么非此即彼的情况发生。最后，“大块头”说，我给你两个选择，要么做你两个婚里的摄像师，要么看不到周末的婚礼。好像又是生与死的选择，最后女孩不愿意也只能屈服。但我们还可以假设这个故事没有结束，一年后，大块头挣钱学到了真正的摄像技术，又重新返回来免费给两人再补拍一个婚纱照，仍然是个完美的结局。
实际上，这也不过是我的幻想完美结局罢了，也有可能是妻子对丈夫的厌倦和讨厌增加，一年后，哪怕“大块头”找回来，也只剩下一个离婚独孤的背影，劳燕分飞也并不是不可能啊！我就是个瞎编故事的人，我看的小说越多，我就发现，事情有无数个结局和侧面，我们永远没办法勾勒出故事的全貌，也就只能体验其中，活在当下，成长与经历，这才是最重要的。
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2026.3.15，Sunday，丙午年正月廿七日 辰时许
