Ups and downs

For so long I haven't written anything in English , but the desire to record , to share remains the same . 

Reading the book by 小鹏,the sense of guilt just overwhelmed me . How could I sit here and just day dream about my so-called bright future ? I knew I could do better . 

However , the cruelty of life brings a series of annoying tasks like rehearsal for the show in which I couldn't say no , and a thesis for an philosophy course which I couldn't recall anything the teacher said not even the whole name of the textbook  .

 They say college students like me can do nothing but complain .


 Well , There's truth in it . I have noticed that the first reaction my classmates have is just to blame others when an unpleasant situation happens . I do that once in a while . 

We are the lost generation . Also , whenever I am handed with an assignment , Baidu is the first , and in most cases , the only place I will search . 

When I have better things to accomplish , why would I waste time on that kind of stuff . But if you ask does Intellectual property matter ? Sure, it does . It's the basic elements of the social culture structure . Though to me it's just a tool to get things done .

Am I hopeless ? A human being largely depends on the efforts of others ? No comments on that for now at least no yet .

 From what I have read , saw , heard,and experienced , the very one thing I feel certain about is that people who strive hard for what they truly want instead  of what others have expected them to pursue lead a far more satisfying life . One the one hand , getting rid of the school environment makes me  ambitious. Finally I will be able to earn money by my work . Finally I will be able to buy things for my loving family . 


On the other hand , worries about my first job hit me hard . I know nothing about personnel interactions . I know nothing about the computer skills like Exel and ppt . Almost every people I consulted say they have been through the same period where there's no light to guide you out of the self-doubt puzzle . 

I truly appreciate what they have taught me .

 After all is said and done , I need to return to the battle against all the negative thoughts and put efforts into action . Writing is the first step because it helps me to clear and organize those irrational envisions . The authors whom I really look up to are those who keep pushing themselves out of the comfort zone and sharing their experiences with others . They all published their books now .

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