有些父母也许会想,孩子到底是个什么东西?如果这样去养,我最后老了又不依赖他,我不就是在养一只白眼狼。就此我想介绍德国诗人包瑞斯的一首诗《黄金球》,它讲的是家庭中的爱,最好是一代代向下传递的,而不是下一代为上一代负责。
《黄金球》The Golden Ball
因为爱,爸爸给了我 For the love my father gave to me 我无以回报 I did not give him due. 年纪小,这份礼物的价值,我不知道 As child, I didn't know the value of the gift. 长大后,用成人的脑袋,无法思考 As man, became too hard, too like a man. 现在,我儿子长大成人,爱传给他 My son grows to manhood now, loved with passion, 在父亲的心中,和别人不一样,他是个宝 as no other, present in his father's heart. 我曾经接受的东西,现在付出 I give of that which I once took, to one from 这来自不再回来的人,没法回赠。 whom it did not come, nor is it given back. 当儿子长大成人,像男人一样思考, When he becomes a man, thinking as a man, 他将像我一样,踏上自己的路途。 he will, as I, follow his own path. 我给他的爱,他会交给他的儿子 I'll watch, with longing free from envy as 我注视他,带着渴望而没有嫉妒。 he gives on to his own son the love I gave to him. 我的目光跟随生命的游戏, My gaze follows the game of life 深入时间的殿堂, deep through the halls of time— 人人含笑抛出黄金球 each smilingly throws the golden ball, 没有人抛给传球给他的人 and no one throws it back to him from whom it came.
曾经以为,极力争取的自由空间,和父母走向分离,有一种违背了道德的负疚感。
“只有瓜恋籽,没有籽恋瓜”也曾经觉得大舅的这句话,是多么的无情。
现在想想,他到真的看得比较通彻,在那个年代,有这种见解,确实比较大胆。
也许大舅就是觉得在大家族里,没有很好的分离,才有了这句话的感慨。
结合大舅的谚语和《黄金球》的这段,让我明白了,从一开始,父母就要做好不求回报,只往下传承的精神。
养好自己的心性,强大自己的内心,学会潇洒放手,带着祝福的目光,目送孩子分离,祝福他们走向更大更远的世界。
我心充实,方能放行。我心包容,方能行远。