4.Seeker: Suppose somebody  is  in  a  close  relationship  with  me  and  is  very important to me. Shouldn't I expect better understanding from them?

慕道者：有人和我关系密切，对我很重要。我不应该期望他们能更好地理解我吗？

Sadhguru: That's the point; the closer the relationship is, the more effort you should make to understand them, but that's not what's happening in your case, Ram. It so happened, once there was a man who had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, with his wife staying at his bedside night and day. When he came to, in those few moments of consciousness, he motioned for her to come closer. As she sat beside him, he said, "I've been thinking ... you have been with me through all the bad times in my life. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business went down the tubes, you were there working overtime and doing night shifts. When I got shot you were by my side. When we lost the house in that legal clash, you were right there beside me. Now my health is failing, and you're still by my side. Now when I consider all this, I think you only bring me bad luck". This is exactly what you're doing to yourself and to your relationships. Somebody becomes closer and dearer to you only as you understand them better. If  they  understand  you,  they  enjoy  the  closeness  of  the  relationship.  If you understand them better, then you enjoy the closeness.

萨古鲁：这就是重点；关系越亲密，你就越应该努力去理解他们，但你不是这样做的，拉姆(Ram)。有个这样的事：一个男人在昏迷边缘徘徊了几个月，他的妻子日夜守在床边。苏醒过来，意识清醒的那几分钟，他示意她靠近些。于是，她坐到他旁边，他说：“我一直在想……你和我一起度过了我一生中所有的不幸时光。当我被解雇的时候，你支持我。当我的生意陷入困境时，你在加班，上夜班。当我被枪击时，你在我身边。当我们在法律冲突中失去房子时，你就在我旁边。现在我身体不好了，你还在我身边。现在，想想这些，我认为你只会给我带来坏运气。”这正是你对待自己和处理人际关系的做法。只有你更好地理解别人，他们才会变得越来越亲近你。如果他们理解你，他们就可以享用亲密的关系。一旦你能更好地理解他们，那么你就能享用那份亲近。