给自己一个简单的生活

文/颜克

断网一个月，很享受那种不与外界联系的状态，没有网络，在异国他乡，仿佛真的与世隔绝。家乡的一切节日与我无关，他国的风俗习惯也与我无关。今天是情人节，我的存在，仿佛只是我自己。没有网络的时候，可以安静地在睡觉之前看看书，摆在床头半年的两本书一周就读完了，以前是抱着手机被无聊的各种信息充斥着大脑，躲在被窝里抱着手机不睡觉，浪费了太多的美好时光。我喜欢把书捧在手里的感觉，常常可以在书店里泡上一整天，也不愿意下载电子书抱着手机看；我喜欢把文字写在纸上，一段诗词，一点游记，或许只是梦醒的一些呓语，可以触摸到字透纸背的痕迹，有汗水，有泪水，还有指纹与纸交汇在一起；我喜欢带了速写本去写生，而不是拍了照片对着电脑画画，当把风景画在纸上，仿佛我就融入到了风景之中，可以感受到风，感受到阳光，或许哪天下雨，有雨滴的痕迹在画作里，多么美好；我也喜欢约了朋友面对面地聊天，一杯咖啡，一壶茶，而不是我们坐在一起，却都把眼睛埋在自己的手机里。

现代社会网络的便捷，仿佛一个手机就可以搞定一切，很多人一分钟都不能离开手机，没有了手机，仿佛没有了灵魂。你可不可以尝试一次不带手机的旅行？不是百度或谷歌地图，而是一张实实在在的地图。一个人，或和爱人朋友结伴而行，不是在网络里看世界美景，而是用脚步来丈量土地，用眼睛去看旅途的风景。或许找一个地方，或许会走错路，或许要问很多人，但是我们多了很多交流，没有冰冷的导航声音，前方左转，100米右转。如遇见非常友善的人，或许会亲自带你到目的地，也许就这样，多了一个朋友，多了很多趣事。

早晨锻炼看到一对背包客，两个人的包裹高出头顶许多，是白种人，是一对情侣或是夫妻，拿着一本厚厚的地图在研究，朝阳把他们的影子拉得很长，我凝望着他们，有点感动得想落泪。这是最好的情人节吧？携手走过的旅程，异国他乡的相伴。不带手机或任何电子产品的旅行，不能到处拍照，就要狠狠的把风景留在脑海里，没有带着耳机的音乐，你可以更清晰地听到鸟叫声，还有汽车喇叭声，或许噪音都会让你觉得亲切，你能真切感受到风吹过树叶的轻柔，花儿在阳光下的绽放。没有了一切联系人，你会觉得擦肩而过的路人仿佛都向你微笑，没有了电话和网络，你会更深切的感受到自己——我是谁？我在哪里？我要做什么？我想要什么？我们沉迷在网络里，有多久没有问过自己这些问题了？有多久没有纯粹的思考过关于自我的问题了？我们拍照，是要留下美好的瞬间。在我们的生命里，常常会觉得快乐是短暂的，忧伤会一直围绕着你。那么，我们更想留下的点什么，或许分手的情侣，没有一个月就模糊了对方的脸，我们依赖冰冷的机器，人与人之间也显得冷漠了许多。

多么怀念大学时候，还没有手机之前，和远方的朋友写上一封信，手绘的信纸，叠成纸鹤，桃心和各种不同的形式，一笔一划地写方块字，放上一张近照，贴上邮票，投入邮筒，仿佛那问候就随着那一封信越来越远的走过去，想象朋友拆开信封的瞬间快乐，以及自己等待回信的期盼，那种美好，不是现在打开QQ或微信视频就可以看到对方的感觉。现在便捷的联系方式，却疏远了朋友之间的情谊，太过方便的联络，有时候却忽略了彼此。新年到来的时候我寄了一些明信片给好友，漂洋过海的走了快一个月，他收到的时候，说感动得落泪。如果只是微信里群发的问候，我们会被感动吗？当然这些问候也许是真诚的，但却少了很多情谊。就像穿着妈妈手作的布鞋，和商场里买的，会是一样的感觉吗？那一针一线纳的鞋底，有多少爱在其中。有没有这样一个雨夜，或者梦中醒来，或者酒后失眠，想和谁聊聊天，翻遍手机的联系人，却找不到可以倾诉的对象。我们已经遗忘了过去，已经不能回到台灯下打开纸笔写下自己的思念的时代了，又怎么能回到过去？或许此时，在你身边，都没有纸笔的存在，一切都是手机，想要记录可以语音，可以拍照，真要提笔写字，可能有很多字都不会写了。那时候在学校，想要和最近宿舍的同学说句话，也要到她身边，串个门，多了几声问候，多走了几步路，现在楼上楼下，有事没事都是手机、网络和电话，沟通便捷了，感情远了；联络方便了，距离远了；世界缩小了，心却空了。

在写下这些文字的时候，我狠心把WIFI关闭，但我知道一会儿我还是会把它打开。我不可能回到过去，就像我没有足够的毅力去实现梦想，网络修好的这几天，我纠结着浏览新闻，娱乐和八卦，有空的时候就刷朋友圈，会在淘宝逛一个多小时，其实什么都不需要买。也读读名家的诗词和文章，或者看看大师的绘画，我知道我已经离不开网络，就像吸毒的人很难戒毒一样，即使戒掉了，依然会怀念那种所谓的飘飘欲仙的感觉，我没有体会过，但我觉得那就像现代人对网络的依恋一样，Internet是戒不掉的瘾。我给自己找种种的理由，比如我要和家人联系啊，我要和儿子视频啊，这是最好的沟通方式；我要学习啊，这是最快捷最方便的工具；我要与时俱进啊，这样才能走的更远……可是我失去了什么，是什么让我迷失了自己？

不能放弃或是回到过去，那就给自己一个简单的生活吧，写字、画画、喝茶、聊天，春天踏青，冬日寻梅，偶尔在网络里，但不要迷失自己。

2015.2.14上午 于菲律宾碧瑶

Give Yourself A Simple Life

Broken network for a month, and enjoy the kind of contact with the outside world, no network, in a foreign country, as if I really isolated. My hometown has nothing to do with me, his country's customs and I have nothing to do. Today is Valentine's day, I exist, as if I am only myself. When there is no network, you can quietly before going to bed to read the book, placed in bed for half a year, I use a week to finish studying the two books, in the past, holding the phone is boring, all kinds of information filled with the brain, hiding in the quilt, holding the phone, I don't sleep, I waste too much of a good time. I like the feeling of the book in my hands, I often stay in the bookstore all day, I am unwilling to download e-books with a mobile phone to read; I like to write on paper, write a poem, write a travel journal, or just write some nonsense to wake up, so that I can touch the word through the back paper trail, there is sweat, tears, and fingerprints and paper joined together; I like to take a sketch book to sketch, rather than taking photos in front of the computer drawing, when the landscape painting on paper, as if I was into the scenery, I can feel the wind, I feel the sun or rain, or which day will rain, there are rain traces in the paintings, it’s so good; I also like some friends chatting face to face, a cup of Coffee, a pot of tea, instead we sat together, our eyes are buried in our mobile phone.

The convenience of modern social networks, as if a phone can get everything, a lot of people can not leave a minute without a phone, as if there is no soul. Can you try a trip without a cell phone? Not the map in Baidu or in Google, but a real map. A person, or with a lover of friends, and the line, you should not see the world of beauty in the network , but with the footsteps to measure the land, you should see the scenery of the journey with eyes. Perhaps you find a place, you may go wrong, perhaps you must ask a lot of people, but we have talked a lot, no cold voice navigation, turn left in front of you, at the 100 meters, turn right. If you meet very friendly people, perhaps they will personally take you to the destination, perhaps you have a friend more, and you will have a lot of fun.

Exercise in the morning I see a pair of backpackers, two parcels higher than their head, they are white, they are a pair of lovers or husband and wife, holding a thick book of maps in the study, the sun pull their shadow very long, I'm staring at them, I somewhat was moved to tears. Is this the best Valentine's day? Hand in hand, the concomitant of a foreign country. Without mobile phones or any other electronic products of travel, they can not take pictures everywhere, they mercilessly keep the scenery in the mind, without music on headphones, you can clearly hear the sound of the birds, and the sound of a car horn, perhaps noise will make you feel warm, you can truly feel the soft wind blowing through the leaves and flowers in the sun under the bloom. Without all the contacts, you will feel that the passers-by as if you are smiling to you, there is no phone and the network, you will be more deeply felt themselves - who I am? Where am I? What do I do? What do I want? How long have we been addicted to the Internet, and how long have we not been asking ourselves? How long did it not be pure thinking about the problem of self? We take pictures, is to leave a beautiful moment. In our lives, often feeling happy is short-lived, sadness will be always around you. Well, we want to leave a little something, perhaps a couple of parting, not more than one month, on the blurred the other's face, we rely on the cold machine, the person also appears to be indifferent between each other.

How miss college life, before mobile phones, and distant friend should write a letter, hand-painted stationery, folded paper cranes, peach heart and various forms, brushstroke write block word, put on a piece of photograph, stamp, a mailbox, as if the greeting followed that letter walking farther and farther, imagine friends open the envelopes of instant happiness, and look forward to waiting for reply, the kind of beautiful thing, now is not the time to open the QQ or micro video you can see each other's feelings. Now convenient contact, but alienated the friendship between friends, too convenient contact, sometimes ignored each other. The arrival of the new year I sent some postcards to friends and traveled across oceans in spending a month, when he received , that was moved to tears. If only the micro channel send greetings, we will be moved? Of course, these greetings may be sincere, but a lot of friendship. just like Mom wearing handmade cloth shoes, and comparing with we bought a pair in a department store, will you feel the same? The stitch soles, how much love in them. There is no such a rainy night, , wake up from a dream, or drink the insomnia, who talk with you?, a turn over the phone contact, but we can not find the person who talks to the object. We have forgotten the past, we can not return to the lamp to open the paper and write down their own era of the missing, how can you return to the past? Perhaps at this time, around you, are not a pen and paper, everything is mobile phone, want to record voice, can take pictures, really want to pick up a pen to write, there may be many words are not written. At that time in the school, want and recent dormitory students say a word, but also to her side, on a door, salutation, walk a few steps, now upstairs downstairs, something all right is mobile phone, Internet and telephone, communication is convenient and where is the feelings? Easy to contact the distance; the world has shrunk, the heart is empty.

When I wrote these words, I am cruel to WIFI, I want to turn it off, but I know I will open it. I might not make it back, just like I don't have enough willpower to realize the dream, repair the network in the past few days I have been struggling with a browse news, entertainment and gossip, empty on the brush when the circle of friends, visiting more than an hour in Taobao, in fact, do not need to buy. Also read the famous poems and articles, or look at the master's painting, I know that I has been inseparable from the network, like a drug will hardly be able to abstain from the same, even quit, I will still miss the feeling that the so-called fairy, I did not realize, but I feel like the modern attachment to the network, the Internet is an inveterate addiction. I find excuses for yourself, for example, I want to contact the family ah, I want to contact the son of a video, which is the best way to communicate. I have to learn ah. This is the fastest and most convenient tools; I want to keep pace with the times, so that we can go farther... But what did I lose, what made me lose myself?

Can not give up or go back to the past, then give yourself a simple life, writing, painting, tea, chat, spring outing, looking for plum in winter, occasionally in the network, but don't lose yourself.

2015.2.14 am in Philippines Baguio