I’m reading this book these days which was recommended by my colleague. When I heard its name, I thought it’s about changing questions you ask others. But when I began to read, I realized I was wrong. It’s a book about telling us to change the questions we ask ourselves and I’m really touched by this book.
There are two types of questions we’ll ask ourselves while facing problems, Learner questions and Judger questions.
Judger questions:
What’s wrong?
Whose fault is it?
What’s wrong with me ?
How can I prove I’m right?
Why is that person so stupid and frustrating?
…
Learner questions:
What works?
What am I responsible for?
What do I want?
What can I learn?
What are the facts? What’s useful about this?
What is the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting?
What’s possible?
Frankly speaking, I was trilled when I saw these questions. I have to admit I’m the Judger type. I tend to blame others and defend for myself after problems happened. The more questions like these I ask, the more annoyed I’m and the few ways I could figure out to fix the problems.
What’s amazing is that after I typed out these Learner questions, I felt a little better and relaxing. Learner questions could lead us to dig out what’s wrong and help us to solve them but Judger questions only induce us to search out who’s wrong instead of what’s wrong and have little help for solving problems.
Learner questions are rather important for us to work and get along with others. I’ve learnt to use Learner questions to improve my work and I got great feedback. It’s hard to change one’s thinking pattern and I have to practice deliberately.
