I can feel that my clean&shining bright eyes are coming back.
But don't misunderstand, they'll always shine for me, not you, and never for you.
I mean, so much desire from outside or inside is trying to swallow the light in my eyes just like the damn blazing sunlight destroys every life in desert.
(Or maybe "stole" is a better verb to use than "swallow".)
I know we have no where to hide when facing this horrible horrible monster.
So I choose to kill my desire, for protect the light in my eyes and I'll never let it leave me.
A "silver warrior without destination".
I wish I could, but something tiny or giant is invisible which keeps following me wherever I go.
And don't ask me where my desire comes from. I'll say it myself.
It comes from me.
It comes from my own heart.
Still I don't want to mention, it is a part of me.
You may think I'm weird, because how dare I wanna kill a part of me.
And so do I.
I don't understand myself. I think deep in my mind, I hate myself.
I hate to see the corrupt, decadent me with these dirty or clean desire swimming in my brain, eroding my body and keeping flirting me.
What demon are possessing me!
What the hell was that! Get away from me, my nightmare!
Sorry for my emotional reaction. Forgive me, this is the way I am.
...I hate to see the pain.
And I also hate to see those endless hatred.
Oh my god, how poor my logic is.
