I confess sincerely that when I heard someone who achieved great successes had placed his whole life emphasis merely on one particular focus; I couldn’t be found to deny that there is something in him out of ordinary. I mean all this cannot be accomplished overnight.However, I’m a born developer but a deviser. It is this, which has let me worship him, though, not inspired my envy.
Even as an amateur gourmet of life , he chewed little.
I have never ever realized that I am exploitable until l learned initial thinking. However, after I mastered it, the time remained. There are still the judgments, which are planned or designed to control me. They have shaped so many narrow yet plentiful squares in which people are trapped separately. Forthe most, they do not need to struggle, simply because obedience and compliance also can make them being high up in the pictures. By contrast, it really took me so much energy to break out the shackles of habit before experience the wonders of this great world.
I have to confess that in this community, people who are more astute,alert and resourceful than you is definitely exist, regardless of how talented you are. Therefore, I don’t dream to be the brightest shining star in the sky,just want “a loyalty card”. But I also confess with blush that I am not a single-mindedness one. I do not have such beautiful certainty like Haruki Murakami. I heard that he wrote his first novel in his 30s, which rescued the unknown writer from oblivion and blazed the trail. His entire life has been used to verify his claims ：
“Regardless of how others see, I will never disturb my rhythm”.
So it seems nature-obeyed but criticised that I would give up if I hit the south wall severely. Because what I really want to do is making sure that I have something, on my life journey, worth my waiting and hunting.
Returning to my life world, there is no way for meto avoid the transient everydayness. However, whether ideal longing or reality interpretation I live into, there must be a remarkable life style.
I mean---stylish.
I confess absolutely that jumping into the mainstream makes life easier.Yet, I refuse to be one of “The Spring Snow” as well as the member of the adherence to “ The Country Men”.I am still young for the time being, 20 years old,and perhaps I won’t be someone who is fortunate enough to make interest ascareer rather than survival. I don’t remember once I have won LUCHY’S favor.Thanks to this, I found I have the gift of self-struggle. It is a charmless faculty, one often held by person like me who has no such luck. I haven’t intended to regard something special as my sole reliance, to be or not to be---to live extensively or focus intensively, as for me the former one is more romantic.
The world of the grown-up is beyond realistic;simple adults always wish to be taken for the sophisticated men of the world.It is very sad that I have to prick the pink bubble for you through myself.
I used to think I was excellent, but afterwards it turned out to be ridiculous, since my counselor told me he could find anyone to take my place if I quit. The new one will invariably surpass the old, just like the waves, and I am no exception. There are plenty of people who are more excellent and outstanding, so maybe I am not the cream of the crop, neither will you. Actually, we should be the indispensable part to reach the pyramid’stop, which I was aware of after the dark stages. People choose one way directly to the end, are pioneers. I despaired of ever forcing myself with such perseverance or with such pursuit. But I think life itself is essentially an exploration of unknown, sometimes it’s blocked sometimes even it is impassable.People could move sideways to improve their comprehensive strength are survivors.
Moreover, there is one thing beyond doubt in both of them--- they never give up.
I do not like to be somebody.
I am just that kind of mere nobody
who is happily drowned in his own entertainment.
Thankfully,having been fighting with this world for ages, my passion seems still on fire.
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