Today is really special and quiet! I felt extremely peaceful in my inner heart.I guess it is partly because the new autumn is coming and the most amazing thing is I truly sensed its tenderness and bliss completely in my zone and that overflowing happiness has been nourishing my mind,body and soul the whole day.
I am deeply grateful not only for this joy,but also for this simple beauty created by the season shift from the mother nature.
In the afternoon at about 3 pm Hehe and I walked along the street with the blue sky. We decided to relax for a while and sat down on the green lawn to play together under the tree.We played different roles in his fantasy world, immersed ourselves in the games .There were some moments when we forgot who we were, forgot he is a boy ,forgot I am his mummy, ignoring all the people and things around us,imagining,acting, and laughing spontaneously.
“Mommy, you will not get old ,right?”, All of sudden ,he asked me seriously.Well ,he is 4 years old and a half and sometimes he is sort of a armature philosopher and stays curious about where he came and how it will look like when he is not a kid any more.
“Mommy ,I still want to live with you and daddy together even when I grow up.”
“Yes,of course you can ,but believe me ,you will get bored of Daddy and me .You will have your own space friends and enjoy being there .But anyways we will be there in case you need us.”
I remembered clearly I have written “ I don’t want to be his mother and prefer to be his playmate.”I am trying to explore why I insist that and what was the subconsciousness hidden in this thought,which reminded me of the homework one of my close friends assigned to me.
“My challenge for you is to articulate all the identities you have in your life and see how much is part of your journey and How each fulfills you.
Well,It is really a challenge but I decided to start baby steps to contemplate and write down some points now no matter how good or bad it is.
