●What’s ability
What we should try to learn is the ability to love. When we have the ability, we can chose who to love. Our parents, friends, even strangers meet just once. You can help them if you want. Ability includes a lot: problem-solving knowledge, listening to someone, wide vision...it’s different up to who you meet and what situation you are facing. People can not share when they don’t really have something. Only if you have abilities to close issues, you can be called”a good lover”. This is not only found between men and women, which can be found among many people.After we learned how to love, life should be more colorful.
●What’s feeling
This is different from unhealthy love between a man and a woman. This kind of feeling is just like a master and servant relationship which is not equal . The reason why a person is falling in love with someone is because he wants something which he doesn’t have , maybe it can be some ability, some feelings when together with another person. So he wants to be another person’s servant because he can enjoy the ability or the feelings from her or him. It’s inner lack not love itself. Even when two people are together, he can not get what he wants, because his body and brain has not prepared to receive so much information yet.So what he feels is not happiness or gratitude, but exhaustion mostly. This feelings come from love, but they are not true love. Sometimes you will be defeated by these bad emotions.
● What’s my suggestion
Ages tell me that I have more experience ,on moral side I should not lead thing badly,too. I am also learning to get ability to make myself stronger to help myself and my family to getting better.
What I want to say ,do not enter into relationship quickly until you believe you have been more mature, when the day comes, maybe you can be friendly with anyone, at least you have more chance to chose who you want to talk more. It takes time until you build up your own system.
○ Improve yourself
But do not be afraid of normal talk either about work or not. You can be more flexible, which is not inconsistent with considering things seriously. Good thinking should tell you which one you can use in different situation.Use many ways to know people, TV interviews and books, I often use these because I can do these myself without any cooperation. Also you can talk with people in Guangzhou, whether you are familiar with them or not. Doctor in US told me that i could teach Japanese to children or disabled if i have trouble in social contact, it’s the same. START WITH EASY THING. Here are some people you can start with, who is good at math: 沈南鹏(interview and book 《沈南鹏传》，曹德旺《心若菩提》，华罗庚，recently i read 《简单思考》（日本/森川亮），I think you will like it, because we all think that way.You can find a new friend through a book,it’s happy. More difficult books like 《巴菲特传》（i borrowed it in Guangzhou Library, there are a lot good books there,《简单思考》there,too. I also borrowed 《我的奋斗（富兰克林自传）》）Start with things closed to you, which will help you go further. When you have wide vision, you understand different people with different backgrounds, you know them and you can talk to them better.READ,WATCH,LISTEN,DO(hobbies like swimming, climbing mountain,hiking i can walk myself for 1 and a half hours, sports help your body and emotion go smoothly.) On bilibili website there is a girl named”1124酱”，who lives in Hangzhou herself, she cooks , herself and runs often , she is also a careful thinking girl, i think you can learn to live and take exercise better.
○ Increase happiness at work
What’s more , it’s better to learn more to make sure school work run in good way. When people do right thing,they can work together better. I am reading a book named《从学校管理走向学校经营》(余伟珏著)，which can be bought on Dangdang website. which is really a heavy book for me because i have never known anything about school education before, and I think this book is necessary because it is written by a primary school principal in Pudong, Shanghai. People read and can learn how to run a school dynamically and with proper discipline . It takes 2 weeks for me to read it the first time, I took a record which I can share later. Now I am reading the second time, I can finish studying around Spring Festival. Maybe I will share the book information ,voice book (i read it myself, processed by AI, it’s not my voice any more) and study notes when new term starts. Then I want to read books about how to make school rules, just prepare for right advice from parents side, It takes time, too. Maybe around March.
Do things in right way , time tells a lot.
