Few months ago, I have met a new friend Kelly, she is a very beautiful and elegant lady who has strict moral standard, and standard of doing things. With this personality, she likes to educate others, strangers and her loved ones, she wants to help others to become better, and make the world a better place.
One day, she went to a restaurant with her friend, a waitress came to serve them in time, but her attitude was a little bit listless and she wore an unhappy face, not hospitality at all. So Kelly felt angry and started her “education”, “Hi Waitress, didn’t your boss teach you how to be a good waitress, don’t you know that a waitress should be hospitality to customers, we are here for lunch, not to see your sad face…”. How do you think of Kelly’s response to the waitress, right or wrong, or say, proper or not?
When she told this story to me, the first thought that came to my mind was “what a poor waitress”, because I was thinking the waitress might have had a fight with her boss or boyfriend, or have met with some bad things, only to come across the strict customer who blamed her so severely, which would make her feel even worse; the second though was “I feel sorry for the bad service Kelly received”, because every customer wants to receive super warm welcome wherever they go.
That day, she also shared stories of how she “educated” her subordinates and helped her ex-boyfriends to improve. She would feel bad or even get angry every time when she saw improper behaviors or things didn't get better after her" education".
Her current situation and the stories she shared have recalled memories of the previous me, my behavior, my attitude towards others when the strangers' behaviors failed to reach my standards, like the ones who smoked in the elevator, who threw garbage anywhere, who parked cars at improper locations which blocked the pavement, or who talked loudly in the subway, so on and so forth. At that time, I would speak to them directly, tell them that their behaviors were unacceptable. Sometimes, it worked, but sometimes it caused conflicts, resulted badly. I would feel angry, I was wondering, why they were doing those bad things, why they behaved so selfishly, why didn't they consider other people's feelings?
But then I asked myself, why I suffered, why I got angry, those people were all strangers, passersby in my life, those behaviors should not have bothered me too much, I got angry for no reason. On the other hand, as the old sayings go: leopard cannot change its spot, old habits die hard, which means I can't change them with only one conversation.
From then on, when I see someone smoking in the elevator, I would take another one, I would pick the garbage up (if it's not too dirty) and throw it in the garbage can, I would change to the next carriage of the subway if that one was too noisy. And I would feel a relief, not as bad as I would have felt previously.
I always try to behave well and properly in my way, hoping to influence others, because I want our world become better.
But I don't mean we should always stay silent as grave. Because for those people we care, we should share our opinions to help them to improve. Like the evaluators in toastmasters, their words can help speakers become better, of course, speakers need to be inspired, but the most valuable gifts for them are suitable and sincere suggestions.
My best friend in college Angela, she often put things everywhere, and don’t pick up after herself, so her stuff was easily lost, her pens, books, keys, purse, even my mobile phone, my pingpang paddle, blabla… I don’t want to count the list. In four years time together, I kept reminding her, encouraging her to study together with me, correcting her mistakes. There was a period of time, she hated me, hated me for pointing out those mistakes, hated me for interfering with her personality and behaviors, our relationship was very bad. But later on till now, she started to appreciate the things I have done for her, she thinks I have helped a lot to her improvement. For me, everything is worthwhile, because she is my best friend and I care about her.
Dear audiences,
Don't suffer because of strangers' improper behaviors, let them be themselves, but at some occasions, we can speak out in a proper way with a peaceful and nice attitude.
For those people we care, if you think they have behaved badly, share your true opinions and give them suggestions in a proper way. Because I think we should take responsibility for the improvement and happiness of the people we care.
Last but not least, dear CCTMCers, I care about you all
CC10 speech content( original article)
