Daddy Doll Under The Bed

床底下的洋娃娃爸爸

By Erma Bombeck, June 21, 1981

When I was a little kid, a father was like the light in the refrigerator. Every house had one, but no one really knew what either of them did once the door was shut.

我小的时候，感觉父亲就像冰箱里的灯。家家都有一个，可是谁都不知道，门一关上，他在干什么。

My dad left the house every morning and always seemed glad to see everyone at night. He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn’t afraid to go in the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it.

我爸爸每天早晨走出家门，晚上回来，每每见到大家，总是露出很开心的样子。咸菜罐子，谁都打不开，他能；家里只有他敢独自到地下室去。他刮胡子划破了脸，我们谁也不会去安慰他或是为此大惊小怪。

It was understood whenever it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door.

下雨天，大家准知道爸爸把车直接开到家门前，方便我们上车。

When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled.

家里有人病了，总是爸爸去药房拿药。

He kept busy enough. He set mouse traps. He cut back the roses so the thorns wouldn’t clip you when you came to the front door. He oiled my skates, and they went faster. When I got my bike, he ran alongside me for at least a thousand miles until I got the hang of it.

爸爸一直忙个不停。他安装捕鼠器，修剪玫瑰的枝叶，使大家不至于出门的时候被荆棘挂伤。他给我的旱冰鞋上油，旱冰鞋跑得更快。我买了自行车，他伴我跑了至少一千哩，直到我会骑为止。

He signed all my report cards. He put me to bed early. He took a lot of pictures, but was never in them. He tightened up mother’s sagging clothesline every week or so.

爸爸为我的成绩单签字。他哄我上床。他拍了很多相片，但相片里面却总是没有他。他每个星期都把妈妈的晒衣绳系紧一次。

I was afraid of everyone else’s father, but not my own. Once I made him tea. It was only sugar water, but he sat on a small chair and said it was delicious.

别人的爸爸我都怕，可是我不怕我的爸爸。有一次，我给他沏茶，给他的只不过是糖水，可他坐在小椅子上说，好喝。

He looked very uncomfortable. Once I went fishing with him in a rowboat. I threw huge rocks in the water, and he threatened to throw me overboard. I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t, so I looked him in the eye. I finally decided he was bluffing and threw in one more.

他看起来不那么令人舒服。有一次我跟他划着小船去钓鱼，我把大石头丢进水里，他威胁我说要把我扔下船。我不敢肯定他是否真会那样做，所以我就直视他的眼睛。最后我判断，他只是吓唬我，我就又扔了一个石头。

He was a bad poker player.

他打牌也打得很糟糕。

Whenever I played house, the mother doll had a lot to do. I never knew what to do with the daddy doll, so I had him say “I’m going off to work now” and threw him under the bed.

每当我玩过家家游戏，洋娃娃妈妈有好多事可做，洋娃娃爸爸呢，我根本不知道让他做什么好。我就只好让他说“我要上班去了。”然后把它丢到床底下去了。

When I was nine years old, my father didn’t get up one morning to go to work. He went to the hospital and died the next day. There were a lot of people in the house who brought all kinds of good food and cakes. We never had so much company before. I went to my room and felt under the bed for the father doll. When I found him, I dusted him off and put him on my bed. He never did anything. I didn’t know his leaving would hurt so much.

九岁那年，一天，爸爸没有起床上班，他进了医院，第二天就死了。有很多人来到我们家，带了很多好吃的东西。以前家里从未来过这么多人。我回到卧室，把那个洋娃娃爸爸从床底下摸出来，拍去它身上的灰尘，把它放在床上。他从未帮我做过什么。我当初并不知道，他的离去会让我如此伤心。

I still don’t know why.

我至今仍不明白其中缘由。