20190216晚上10点20分，10分钟，老师《21天提升幸福感正念冥想疗愈》第十课-用视觉和触觉，与美好的事物交流
冥想前
早上五点多就醒了，因为今天要开车回深圳，先生定了6点的闹钟我等了很久才响。虽然这半个多月在老家都是8-9点醒，10点才能早餐，这潜意识真是厉害，比闹钟还准！妈也早早起来还去了菜园子摘了菜给我带回来，都洗干净装好了，也不知道她几点起来的，外面冰冷的，还下着雨。吃了几个妈蒸好的粿，把冻好的肉装好，就出发了。妈在门口还买了热腾腾的包子和油条给我们吃，在雨里流着眼泪送我们走。每次回家大家都开心，每次回深圳妈要掉眼泪。前几年我也会掉眼泪，这两年我都可以很平静了。而且也深知父母对孩子的爱是以分离为目的的爱。妈说今天一天都没干活，一直都拿着手机看时间看微信，等着我们平安到家的信息。说今天一天都难过，我问为啥，她说，今天我们早上回深圳弟弟和弟媳都不出来送一下，太不懂事了，如今父母都在，对远嫁的姐姐都这样，若是百年之后，我这个女儿就没有家可回了！其实妈不提起弟弟没送我们的事，我完全都没在想到，而且年轻人一般都起得晚。妈一直含着泪发语音，倒是让我也有所感触。只是我却笑着回妈，我根本不在意弟弟送我们，而且我深圳有家，有房子有老公有孩子，深圳就是我的家呀，你不用担心，我都不难过，你难过啥呀。我自然是知道妈为什么难过的，只是我若是和她一起哭，只会哭得更惨，而且这些只是妈对未来的担心而已，我有时候也这样，只是现在多了觉察。常常担心未来不如活好现在，等到未来来的时候再去面对，是喜是忧面对便是，何需现在为不确知的未来担心和难过呢。若是快乐还好，若是难过我们不嫌生活中已经确定的难过都够多了吗，还要把未来不确定的拉过来一起难过。这也太罪过了！
晚上家里的群里，姑姑在聊自己儿媳不懂事，叔叔在一旁劝，我做为小辈只听着，我听着他们俩在不同的频道聊着，各自说各自的，只是自己辈分太小，又在写着日记，就只听着而已。若是对姑姑可以先跟后带或许有些效果。婆媳关系总是道不清，或许对妈也有些安慰，不然她对弟弟难以释怀！我也相信妈妈看见我们活得好，自然能慢慢想开。
《爱与性的秘密》分享
15 外遇 如何应对第三者带来的挑战和机遇？
用一个开放性的头脑来讨论这个问题。在一段关系中，同时还和另一个人有亲密行为。这种情况在世界上的任何一个角落都有，是我们每一个都会担心的问题。所以我觉得我们应该带有一个开放性头脑来探讨这个问题，而且不要评判外遇就是错的！外遇的成因是，他们有某些需要，但很绝望的是这些需要在他们的婚姻中是得不到的。或许你会问，有过外遇的关系还能修复吗？答案是—可以的，也是不可以的。这并不是一刀切的事情，你需要去看每一个案例，每个案例都有属于自己独一无二的故事。在一些情况，如果伴侣彼此非常相爱，他们可以单独坐下来或者寻求帮助，然后一起沟通，我们一起来修复这段关系吧，然后再需要看到这个事件背后的背叛以及伤痛。但是从另一个更深的层面，到底外遇是一个问题，还是“婚姻中存在问题”是一个问题，所以才有的外遇？非常重要的要做一个区分，如果是在一个非常有活力的家庭关系中有外遇，那我可能说这是一个背叛。你需要以一个极其负责的方式去处理外遇或者外遇的渴望，这样才不会有伤害。如果你们决定结束你们的婚姻，或许你以为你可以和你的情人有正常的关系，而不是外遇了。但是当你和一个结了婚的有孩子的人在一起时，你不仅摧毁了你自己的家庭和孩子，你也摧毁了对方的家庭和孩子。这不是一个负责的行为，这需要承受巨大的后果的，你迟早要为此付出代价的。
冥想后Most people have one sense that is predominate, that is easier to feel with. But we all have the five basic senses, so it is good to develop them all. It makes our life richer and more satisfying.Technique: Lose yourself in an objectThe idea in this technique is to feel that everything else has disappeared, just this object remains. It means that you are totally in your senses, not your mind.You are feeling, not thinking.You will need a living object, preferably something beautiful like a flower or a plant. Or if you are outside you can use a tree. You can even use a rock or a stone. Don’t use a person, as they will feel really uncomfortable.Make sure you can be undisturbed for ten minutes, and listen to the audio.HomeworkIt is easiest to practice this technique with things from nature. You can make it very simple – just hug a tree, and take a few moments to feel the tree hugging you. Lose yourself in the atmosphere of the tree – feel its rooted-ness, its calm solid grounded-ness. Breathe that in. Absorb it.Or walk with bare feet on the grass or on sand. And have all your awareness in your feet. Feel your feet totally connecting with the grass or the sand. And enjoy the sensation! Breathe it in and enjoy it!Even if you are sitting in your office, feel the air on your face – really be aware of feeling it. Feel the temperature and any breeze or movement of the air. Don’t think about it, enjoy the feeling. Breathe in the feeling and forget everything else, even for a few moments.Or if you are taking a shower: feel the coolness or warmth of the water falling on you. Don't think about it. Don't listen to your mind’s comments about it. Don't say anything about it inside, because the moment you verbalize, you miss feeling. The moment words come in, you are back in the grip of your mind. Don’t think, instead just feel. And enjoy reconnecting with your senses.Practice also looking at something as if seeing it for the first time. If you can begin to see everything as if for the first time, then you will begin to be surprised at what a beautiful world you have been missing.If you like this technique, you can use it to go really deep inside. Once you have the sense that everything has disappeared except this object and you, then you also have the feeling of disappearing into the object, merging into it. So there is no more object and subject, but just a feeling of one-ness. But this takes a lot of practice!
