他是一个很受人欢迎的幽默演员。两次格莱美奖获得者。十年前因心脏病突然辞世。以下是他的一次表演中有关人的年龄的笑话。在幽默之余却发人深省。
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
你有没有意识到在我们的一生中只有在儿童时代我们才想变老？如果你不到十岁，你是那样兴奋，当你想像年龄时都不已整数记。
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
“你多大了？” “我四岁半！”你从来都不能是三十六岁半。你是四岁半，快到五岁了！这才是重点。
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
当你进入十几岁时，谁也停不住你了。你跳跃到下一个年龄数字，甚至下几个数字。
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
“你多大了？”“我快到十六岁！”你可能是十三岁，但是谁知道呢，你快到十六了！随之你人生中最伟大的一天。。。你变成二十一。甚至这几个字听起来都像庆典。你变成二十一岁了。YES！！！（译者注：在美国二十一岁以上法律允许饮酒）
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
但是然后你转变为三十。呜呼，怎么回事？这使你听起来好像变坏的牛奶！他转变了。我们得把他扔出去。现在不好玩儿了，你只是个酸饺子。哪儿出毛病了？哪儿变了？
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50 and your dreams are gone.
你变成二十一，你转变成三十，然后你推进到四十。哇！打住，一切都溜走了。当你还没留神，你达到了五十，而且你的一切梦想都化为泡影。
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
但是等等！！你完成了六十。你没想到你会的！
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
所以你变成了二十一，转变成三十，推进到四十，达到了五十并完成了六十。
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
你积攒了如此大的惯性以至于你撞上了七十！从那儿以后就得一天一天的数了；你撞上了星期三！
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4: 30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backward; "I Was JUST 92."
你走进了你的八十而且每天都是一个完整的循环；你撞上了午餐；你转变成四点半；你达到了上床时间。而且并没在那儿止住。到了九十以后，你开始往回数了；“我本来才九十二。”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
接着一个奇怪的事情就发生了。如果你有幸过了一百岁，你就又变成了个小孩子。“我一百岁半了！”
愿你们都有幸活过一百岁半！！
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
怎样保持年轻
- Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
忘掉那些无关紧要的数字。这些包括年龄，体重和身高。让那些医生去关心它们。因为你付钱让“他们”去管这事儿。
- Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
保留那些情绪好的朋友。剩下的都会拖你后腿。
- Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
不断学习。多学点儿电脑，手工艺术，园艺，无论什么。绝不让大脑空转。“一个空转的大脑是魔鬼的作坊。”这个魔鬼就是奥兹海默病。
- Enjoy the simple things.
享受简单事物。
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
经常，长时间和大声地笑。笑到你喘不过气来。
- The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
生活中会有眼泪。忍受，含悲，然后继续生活下去。一生中唯一能一直陪我们走下去的人，是我们自己。当你活着的时候，真正地活着。
- Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
用你热爱的一切围绕着你自己，无论这些是你的家庭，宠物，收藏，音乐，植物，爱好等等。你的家是你的避风港。
- Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
珍惜你的健康：如果它还好，保持它。如果它不稳定，改善它。如果你已经无法改善它，寻求帮助。
- Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
避免负窘之旅。去商场逛一逛，甚至去附近的郡看看；或到外国去旅行但是别去令你后悔的地方。
- Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
只要有机会就告诉你爱的人，你爱他们。
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
永远记住：
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
我们的生命不是用呼吸了多少次，而是用在我们停止呼吸的那些时刻来衡量的。
