But by the end of that night I rememberedvery little. Let’s just say that I drank. Drank out of fear (she was so cruel).Drank out of happiness (she was so beautiful). Drank until my teeth and my whole mouth had turned a dark ruby red and the pungency of my breath and perspiration betrayed my passing years. And she drank, too. Onemezzolitroof the local swill became a fulllitro, and then twolitriand then a bottle of something possibly Sardinian but in any case thicker thanbull’s blood.
Enormous plates of food were needed to mopup this overindulgence. We thoughtfully chewed on the pig jowls of thebucatini all’amatriciana, slurped up a plate of spaghetti with spicy eggplant, andpicked apart a rabbit practically drowning in olive oil. I knew I would missall this when I got back to New York, even the horrible fluorescent lightingthat brought out my age—the wrinkles around my eyes,the single long highway and three county roads that run across my forehead,testaments to many sleepless nights spent worrying aboutunredeemed pleasures and my carefully hoarded income, but mostly about death.
I told her I didn’t want to leaveRomenow that I had mether.
She told me I was a nerd, but a nerd whomade her laugh.
I told her I wanted to do more than makeher laugh.
She told me I should be thankful forwhat I had.
I told her she should move toNew Yorkwith me.
She told me she was probably a lesbian.
I told her my work was my life, but Istill had room for love.
She told me love was out of thequestion.
I told her my parents were Russianimmigrants who lived inNew York.
She told me hers were Korean immigrantswho lived inFort Lee,New Jersey.
I told her my father was a retiredjanitor who liked to go fishing.
She told me her father was a podiatrist who liked to punch his wife and two daughters in the face.
“Oh,” I said. Eunice Park shrugged andexcused herself. On my plate, the rabbit’s little dead heart hung from withinhis rib cage. I put my head in my hands and wondered if I should just throwsome euros down on the table and walk out.
但那晚末了我差不多什么都不记得了。就只说那晚我喝酒了。因为恐惧（她那么残酷），因为快乐（她那么美）。喝到最后，我牙齿和整张嘴都变得如同红宝石般，呼吸局促，大汗淋漓，暴露了我已垂垂老矣。她也喝酒了。刚开始是半公升地方劣质酒，接着是一公升，然后是两公升，最后是一瓶撒丁岛之类的东西，颜色绝对比牛血还要鲜艳。
这场纵酒的结局是我们扫荡了很多盘食物。我们细嚼慢咽了一大盘意大利番茄沙司加熏肉，狼吞虎咽了一盘意大利通心粉加辣茄子，然后撕开一只几乎整个浸到橄榄油里的兔子。我知道回纽约后我肯定会想念这一切，哪怕讨厌的荧光灯泄露的我的年龄——眼睛周围的皱纹，仿佛一条长长的高速公路和三条乡村小路在我额头上纵横交错，证明我有很多个不眠之夜，为不能及时行乐而惆怅，为捉襟见肘而忧虑，但更多的是为死亡而怅惘。
我告诉她我不想离开罗马，因为我遇见了她。
她说我是呆子，一个能让她笑的呆子。
我说我不仅仅只想让她笑。
她说我应该感激所拥有的。
我说她应该搬到纽约和我住。
她说她可能是个同性恋。
我说我的工作就是我的生活，但我仍然可以爱人。
她说谈爱情是不可能的。
我告诉她我的父母是移民到纽约的俄国人。
她告诉我说她父母是住在新泽西州李堡的韩国移民。
我告诉她我父亲是个退休的门警，喜欢钓鱼。
她告诉我他父亲是个足科医生，爱打老婆，扇两个女儿耳光。
我“哦”了一声。尤尼斯·帕克耸肩自嘲。我盘子里，那颗小小的不再跳动的兔子心脏在胸腔里悬着。我把头埋进手里，想我是否该在桌子扔些欧元然后走出去。
