浅谈婚姻
On Marriage
轻易说出口的爱总觉得不大真实，因为语言总有太多的欺骗性。日久才能见人心，时间是最公正的审判官，经得起时间考验的爱才是值得珍视的爱。记得有首词这样写道：两情若是久长时，又岂在朝朝暮暮。因为相爱亲密得没有距离恐怕也是要出问题的，再真实热烈的爱也同样需要一份距离，应该保持双方的个体性和独立性。爱一个人并不需要时时刻刻守在他或她身边，心与心的距离是超越现实时空的另外一种特殊的度量。这世间心心相印的爱太少，却不乏貌合神离的爱，要不然为何离婚现象愈演愈烈。只要心中有真挚的爱，那怕远在天涯也近在咫尺。
The love easily uttered in words always seems untrue, because words often hide too much deceit. One's true face cannot be revealed without a long time, because time is the fairest judge for all. A love is worth treasuring only if it stands the test of time. I still remember a poem, which says, "A permanent relationship does not care whether being together day and night." An intimate love without any distance will get into trouble sooner or later. No matter how earnest a love is, it always requires a certain distance to retain the individuality and independence of both sides. If you love one, you need not stay by his/her side in every moment, because the distance between two hearts is measured in a special way beyond time and space. In this world, it is pretty short of the heart-to-heart love but no lack of the seemingly harmonious love, otherwise why does divorce phenomenon prevail in the whole society? The sincere love within two hearts will make the world's end near at hand.
离婚时最爱引用的名言就是“没有爱情的婚姻是不道德的！” 他要放弃没有爱情的婚姻，再去追求充满爱情的新婚姻。也许他结婚时的动机往往并不是为了爱情或者想和对方相守一生，或许只是为了工作、出国、晋升、金钱、虚荣等等其它外在的东西。目的是多么的不纯正，婚姻成了一个工具或者手段而不是目的本身，这难道又算得上道德吗？当外在目的达到后，婚姻的价值也就宣告结束，当然这种婚姻是绝对经不起任何风吹浪打的，碰到什么克服不了的矛盾和难题，离婚就成了势所必然，婚姻的悲剧就是这样演绎出来的。依我之见，基于爱情的婚姻比基于外在因素的婚姻更长久，真爱是婚姻的纽带。
"A loveless marriage is immoral!" is often cited at the time of divorce. He wants to give up his loveless marriage and pursue a new loveful marriage. Maybe he got married not for love or simple desire of living with her all his life but for other external factors such as job, promotion, money, vanity, etc. With such an impure motivation, the marriage is not the destination but the vehicle. Can this marriage be considered as a moral one? The value of such a marriage will vanish when its external aim is achieved. Of course this marriage cannot stand any hardships and frustrations, and divorce cannot be avoided when both sides get into big trouble or conflict, thus the tragedy of marriage happens in this way. In my opinion, the marriage based on love can last longer than that based on other external factors, and true love is the strong bond of marriage.
美丽的东西往往经不住现实的考验，“爱”和“宽容”都是美得不能再美的字眼，在这个最缺乏真爱和宽容的摩登时代，这些美丽的字眼简直被用滥了，彻底贬值了。什么是爱的真谛？什么是宽容的价值？很难回答。
Beautiful things often cannot stand practical tests. No terms can be more beautiful than "Love" and "Tolerance". These beautiful terms have been totally abused and devaluated in this modern age which most lacks in true love and tolerance. What is the true meaning of love? What is the value of tolerance? It is hard to answer.
译于2006年12月16日。
Now I think a marriage based on common values is more stable than that based on love or other things. Love is a changeable stuff, how can a marriage based on it be stable and last long?
Maybe it is a wrong idea that true love can last long or even forever. Actually, true love behaves like a flower, one day, it bursts into bloom, and then one day, it withers away. It is a very natural process. When a true love happens in your life, your heart is definitely like a flaming fire. But how long can you bear such a fire burning in your heart? So it must change or vanish. As time goes by, a true love may change into other form of feeling and take on a new look.
