Yesterday afternoon one of my besties reached me and said that she was currently suffering from a guilty conscience severely. It all came from a recent position campaign in the department where she's working. Actually she had no intention to run for the vacant position of deputy director but was encouraged by her leader and colleagues to give it a go. Being reluctant to undertake this task, she was unable to devote herself to the fierce competition. As a result, she just failed it.
If I understand right, what confuses her most is not the unsuccessful campaign result, but her feelings living for others' expectation. It somehow resembled her unpleasant experience back in our high school time when she finally chose to obey her parents' instruction about her course category selection instead of going for what she was really keen on. I totally knew her feelings and further comforted that we're not born to be superheroes who are supposed to save the world. The fact is we are just ourselves, pretty ordinary ourselves. So please, live for OURSELVES.
Looking back upon the past over 25 years in my life, I also learnt this lesson after going through various things. For instance, I once felt very embarrassed that I hadn't yet taken a flight as an adult, so I intentionally booked a round-trip air ticket back home during my internship in Beijing. Due to these cheap tickets, I had to either stay up late at night or get up early in the morning to catch up the flight. The feeling really sucked... Thereafter I told myself, I'll never ever force myself again to do anything just to tick it off from my to-do-list. Instead, I'll make efforts to focus on those I really wanna do.
Not for others, but for myself!
