文章来源: https://medium.com/@johnkim_50885/to-my-future-girlfriend-69f0f8be482d
Let’s get something clear right now.
YOU.
You will not take away my boys (guy friends), my fitness, my motorcycle, my alone time, everything that brought me joy before I met you. You will not try to change my silliness, inappropriateness or whatever makes me me that I like about myself but may bring resistance in you. You will not expect me to be a certain way because you’ve read my blogs. You will not hold my words against me. You will accept me for who I am, with all my defect and short comings. You will understand that I am in process and on my own journey as you are on yours. And although we are together, we will both have our own personal paths as well. You will be responsible for your own happiness. I will not be your “guy with potential” or project. I will be someone you choose to love and do life with. Each day. You will not keep me in the dark or in a box. You will tell me how you feel, even if it’s drift. And you will not pick which friends you will and will not introduce me to. If I’m in your life, I’m in your life. You will not present me better or different because of your own insecurities. You will leave room for me to be me as you continue to be you. You will be my best friend but not my only friend. You will shatter your image of what a couple should look like, how they should act, and what kind of friends they should have, as I will do the same. You don’t have to agree or like what I’m passionate about but you must support me in it because it matters to me. You will have to deal with my bedhead, my night mouth guard, and horrible sleeping patterns. And finally, you will scratch my back.
你不会带走我的男孩（男朋友），我的健身，我的摩托车，我独自一人的时间，在我遇见你之前给我带来欢乐的一切。你不会试图改变我的愚蠢，不恰当或任何让我喜欢我喜欢自己的东西，但可能会给你带来阻力。你不会指望我以某种方式，因为你已经阅读了我的博客。你不会对我说话。你会因为我的缺点和缺点而接受我。你会明白我在你的过程中，在你自己的旅程中，因为你在你的身上。虽然我们在一起，但我们都有自己的个人路径。你将为自己的幸福负责。我不会成为你的“有潜力的人”或项目。我会成为你选择爱和做生活的人。每天。你不会把我留在黑暗或盒子里。你会告诉我你的感受，即使它是漂移的。你不会选择你会选择哪些朋友，也不会介绍我。如果我在你的生活中，我就在你的生命中。由于你自己的不安全感，你不会给我更好或不同的东西。当你继续做你的时候，你会留给我成为我的空间。你将是我最好的朋友，但不是我唯一的朋友。你会粉碎你的形象，一对夫妇应该是什么样子，他们应该如何行动，以及他们应该拥有什么样的朋友，我会这样做。你不必同意或喜欢我的热情，但你必须支持我，因为这对我很重要。你将不得不处理我的床头，我的夜间护士和可怕的睡眠模式。最后，你会刮伤我的背部。
ME.
In exchange, I will take all my learnings in my previous relationships and use them to be the best version of myself that I can. I will always be honest, never assassinate your character, and take full responsibility for anything I do that’s wrong or hurtful. I will listen, communicate, open doors — literally and create a safe space, knowing that trust is earned. Not given. I will love you as you are, support you where ever you’re at in your journey and hold your hand through all your seasons. I will stand by your side, not in front or behind you. I will water my own lawn and work on my own shit. I will be responsible for my own happiness and keep the toilet seat down so you don’t fall in in the middle of the night because I know the only worse feeling than sitting on that cold rim is stubbing your toe. I will write you little notes, make you stuff and buy you flowers for no reason. We will share books, ideas, and sweat - both in the gym and the bedroom. I will not try to control you or compete with you. I will not try to “fix” you. I will do life with you, not at you. I will read your subtext, energy, and body language, not just your words. I will do my best to get the hint. I will consider your story. I will make you breakfast. Not everyday. But many. I will always read your heart and intentions before reacting to your words. I will return texts and messages promptly or as fast as I can. I will protect your name and character and be thinking of you in every decision I make.
作为交换，我将在以前的关系中学习所有的知识，并将它们用作我自己的最佳版本。我将永远诚实，不要暗杀你的性格，并对我所做的任何错误或伤害的事情负全部责任。我会倾听，沟通，打开大门 - 从字面上创造一个安全的空间，知道获得信任。没有给。我会像你一样爱你，在你旅途中的任何地方为你提供支持，并在你的所有季节中牵手。我会站在你身边，而不是在你前面或后面。我会给自己的草坪浇水，然后按自己的方式工作。我将对自己的幸福负责，并保持马桶座圈，所以你不要在半夜摔倒，因为我知道唯一比坐在那个冷边上更糟糕的感觉就是踩到你的脚趾。我会给你写小笔记，给你做东西，无缘无故地给你买花。我们将在健身房和卧室分享书籍，想法和汗水。我不会试图控制你或与你竞争。我不会试图“修复”你。我会和你一起生活，而不是你。我会读你的潜台词，能量和肢体语言，而不仅仅是你的话语。我会尽力得到提示。我会考虑你的故事。我会让你吃早餐。不是每一天。但很多。在对你的话作出反应之前，我会一直阅读你的内心和意图。我将尽快或尽快返回文本和消息。我将保护你的名字和性格，并在我做出的每一个决定中都在想你。
US.
We will both understand that there will be days we can’t stand each other. There will be days you will want to punch me in the face and I will want to take the long way home. We will disagree on things, like movies and books, and diets. I will forget things. Misplace things. You will run late. Our friends will have opinions of us. You will have questions. We will fight. Maybe a lot. You will shut down. I will wonder. But at the end of the day, we will both come back, to each other. And your head will always fall back on my chest. And no matter how many times we fight, we will always fight fair. That will be a non-negotiable. And we will be together knowing that we are choosing to be together. Not because of logic, age, or loneliness. Not because we look good on paper or we’ll make cute babies. Not because we’ve already committed to this. Not because we don’t want to be alone. But because we believe in us and make a choice every, single, day, to be in this and love each other the best way we know how. Our relationship will not be built on fear, as many are. But like many relationships, ours will also be hard. We are both aware of this. We’ve been through a shit ton. And we are both different people today. So we won’t let what was affect what is. We will not compare us to anyone else, including our exes. Any residue we have from our past relationships we will work on individually. It is our own responsibility and what being in something healthy looks like. We will sharpen each other and I will make you feel beautiful and you will make me feel invincible and vice versa. The only thing we can promise is to be honest and love as hard as we can. We both know there is risk. We both know we can get hurt. But we are willing to put that on the line to experience the high notes of something meaningful.
We will search for magic and settle for nothing less.
我们都明白，有些日子我们不能相互支持。有几天你会想要打我的脸，我会想走很长的路回家。我们会对电影，书籍和饮食等事情持不同意见。我会忘记的。错位的东西。你会迟到的。我们的朋友会有我们的意见。你会有疑问。我们会战斗。也许很多。你会关闭。我会好奇的。但是在一天结束的时候，我们都会相互回来。你的脑袋总会落在我的胸前。无论我们战斗多少次，我们都会永远斗争。那是不可谈判的。我们将在一起知道我们选择在一起。不是因为逻辑，年龄或孤独。不是因为我们在纸上看起来不错，或者我们会制作可爱的宝宝。不是因为我们已经承诺了这一点。不是因为我们不想孤单。但是因为我们相信我们并且每天，每天都做出选择，并且相互爱护是我们知道的最佳方式。我们的关系不会像许多人那样建立在恐惧之上。但就像许多人的关系一样，我们的关系也很难。我们都知道这一点。我们经历了一段时间。我们今天都是不同的人。所以我们不会让影响到底的是什么。我们不会将我们与其他任何人进行比较，包括我们的前任。我们从过去的关系中得到的任何残余，我们将单独处理。这是我们自己的责任，以及健康的东西。我们会相互磨砺，我会让你感觉很美，你会让我觉得无敌，反之亦然。我们唯一可以承诺的是诚实和尽可能地爱。我们都知道存在风险。我们都知道我们会受伤。但是我们愿意把它放在线上，以体验有意义的高音。
我们将寻找魔法，并为此而努力。
Love,
Johnkim
