20190224晚上9点20分，11分钟，老师《21天提升幸福感正念冥想疗愈》第十六课-让问题“漂浮”到你看不到的地方
冥想前
昨晚睡得特别好，一觉到8点了。等儿子到11点多，有些担心他会哭要找我，结果没有，很欣慰，先生把儿子照顾得很好。一天的费登奎斯课感觉更开放和自由了，陌生的人群却散发着简单纯朴和亲切的气息。和班奇老师更亲密和开心，中午我盖在毯子睡在地上，老师没看到我，还特意点我的名问我到了没，后来看到我站起来便说，你去哪了，我在等你上课呢，我顿时好感动!我说我一直在呀，他说那怎么没看到你，我说我在地上睡觉呢。哈哈。这样的老师让我觉得好幸福呢！本来想邀请老师一起晚餐的，可惜他还是很累，有点咳嗽，想早点回酒店休息。我和他谈了合作的事情，或许不久伊莎兰可以出他的工作坊了，期待吧！
《爱与性的秘密》分享
23放松 如何打开身体感受，体验极致的性放松？
❖问答：如何可以在性体验或者是性连接中放松，以便更加享受沉浸在那个全然的当下？ 我认为这是非常，非常重要的问题，这个问题是以“如何”来进行的提问，但是在我来告诉大家如何做到之前，我想先让我们了解一下我们需要做什么？性是一个非常复杂的主题，而且是一个非常有艺术的一个体验，我们要如何去拥有一个成熟的性体验，能让我们深入享受的体验，以及得到更深层的放松。假如我们还带着对性的羞耻心，以及很多不舒服以及不安全的感觉，我们是无法足够的放松，让身体进入到一个更深的享受以及兴奋的空间中。你也可以看到我们对兴奋的错误理解，我们认为兴奋就是激情，那就意味着要很快速，我们只会因为身体的虚弱以及麻木才会想要加快这个速度，或者我们需要很多的刺激，很多的摩擦，因为我们感受不到任何感知。所以实际上，我们要以艺术且成熟的方式进入到性体验中，同样我们需要知道，如何去平抚我们的情绪，需要我们成为头脑的主人，需要我们不要去思考。但这需要时间，因为这些技能是生命的技能，而不是性爱技巧，性爱技巧非常的简单，但是确实没有用，因为那只会给我们带来更多的激烈，压力和分离。如果你和你伴侣的头脑都是非常忙碌的，那么你们是不会真正相遇的。假如你的情绪是非常快速的移动，那就会有很多的问题。那性爱体验就会变得非常困难，所以我们需要学会去准备我们自己，通过学习如何平静头脑，让头脑静止，平抚情绪并感受到呼吸。
冥想后We all have problems.But have you ever stopped to think about – what is a problem exactly?And why is it that some people are easy dealing with problems, and for other people problems are very difficult to manage?I would like to share a very wise understanding I got from my meditation teacher.Problems are our own creation. They have no life of their own. They are simply our mind’s interpretation of a situation. Situations are real – they exist, but problems are simply psychological. And now I would like you to ponder over this: We create all our problems by wanting things to be different to how they actually are.We want other people to be different (especially our partners!), we want situations to be different, we want ourselves to be different. And they, and we, cant be other than what we are. It is like wanting the weather to be different. The weather is what it is. We can accept it and enjoy however it is, or we can complain about it and make ourselves feel miserable. But anyway, it is not going to change the weather, is it?And yet this is what we are doing every time we have a complaint about something (which, let’s be honest, is quite often). So, all our problems are because we don’t accept some reality. We want to change something we cannot change, and thus we have a problem.From the moment I decided to test this concept, it changed my whole attitude towards my ‘problems’. I confess it was not easy for me to sit down and examine the things that my mind was continually chewing on. My mind much preferred to run on and on with all its fears and worries. But the interesting thing was that, once I managed to crystallize the issue – to pin down what was really going on, and what was the worst thing that could go wrong – suddenly it was no more a problem. There was simply just a situation to be dealt with. However, the mind is incredibly persistent. It needs ‘problems’ to chew on, and the more complicated, the better. In fact, the mind can make a problem out of anything, can’t it? It is really ingenious. So you dissolve one, and immediately the mind starts searching for another.Today’s technique is about taking some distance from our ‘problems’, so we can see them from a different perspective.It might be good to first practice the technique with a simple problem. So before you start, think of one issue that your mind likes to worry about these days. HOMEWORKOnce you have the knack of this technique – and you will probably have to practice it with the audio a few times, then you can start using it whenever you realize you are in a ‘problem’ mindset.When you realize you are in the middle of a major ‘problem’, remind yourself, ‘This is the mind’.Just like that, without any judgment, condemnation or fight. This simple statement of fact will always bring you into the present moment, with a deep and relaxing inhalation. Then you can realize you have the choice – you can go on being absorbed in the ‘problem’, unconsciously getting involved with all the fears and projections your mind is creating, or you can have a very direct and clear look at the facts of the situation. What is the actual ‘problem’? Is it real? Would it necessarily be a problem for anyone else, or is it just a problem for your ego? And the beauty of being honest with yourself, and looking clearly and directly, is that the answer is always there in the situation itself. It takes courage to question and look at a problem from a different perspective, to accept the reality of a situation and its inherent solution – it is usually not what the ego wants to see and hear. And, we are very attached to our problems – in a way they are part of our identity. Who would we be without our problems? But the rewards of dropping this unconscious identification are immediate. The deep inner relaxation that comes with acceptance and understanding brings space and new eyes to see everything afresh. To see that life is simple and easy when you go with the flow, when you stop fighting for things to be different from what they are.
