2017年5月2日星期二印度班加罗尔
如果你的愤怒是一种手段，而且在你的掌控之中，那愤怒就是好的。但如果愤怒控制了你，那你就会陷入麻烦，并且连起因也消失了。用愤怒作为武器没有错，但是如果它带走了你平和的心智，你就需要用智慧来保护你自己。
控制愤怒的技巧:
这里有几点关于怎样技巧地让你的心智从愤怒的掌控中获得自由，从而体验到一个平衡的心智状态。
1. 给不完美空间
导致愤怒的主要原因是你想要完美，我们会因为不完美而生气，但这个世界上有不同层次的完美。给不完美一点空间。当你给不完美留一些空间的时候，你就会更有耐心。
在家里我们都有一个垃圾桶，不是吗? 你不会说，‘我不要在家里放垃圾桶’。那样垃圾就会到处都是。 愤怒就是垃圾到处都是。当你给不完美空间时，你就将所有的垃圾都放进垃圾桶，随它去了。然后你就会发现你能控制你的愤怒了。
所以练习对不完美的耐心。从不完美到完美需要时间。你怎样给时间呢? 就是在你给不完美空间的时候。慈悲会升起，愤怒也消失了。
2. 在表达和压制愤怒之间保持平衡
你不能总是表达愤怒，这会对你自己和你周围的人造成很多的伤害。你也不能总是压制愤怒，有的时候你需要把愤怒表达出来，不然你会崩溃。所以，你要找到表达和压制愤怒的正确平衡。智慧是知道何时表达愤怒，何时压制愤怒。
3 .不要为生气而对自己生气
达到不再愤怒生气的水平，是需要一些时间的。愤怒会以不同的程度和强度不停地出现。当愤怒出现时，不要开始责怪自己。责怪自己是一件非常有害的事情，要保持继续前进。如果你生气了，没关系，就让愤怒来来去去。不要去其寻找愤怒的原因，而是去观察愤怒对身体所产生的影响，让身体保持放松。
4. 维系好的伙伴(Sangha)
你不能独立做的事情，可以在好的伙伴的支持下完成。伙伴有很多益处，也有一些坏处，因为它会占用你大量的能量。好处是伙伴（Sangha）会给你很多你前进所需要的支持。每当你的头脑乱七八糟，或者你的情绪上下波动时， 伙伴会带你继续前进。帮助你穿越那个局面。
5. 接受人的本貌
生活的艺术的一条原则是: 接受人和事物的本貌。
接受和给他人空间，会让你的个性变得宽广。如果你没有扩展了的意识，你就会变得非常僵化。惹恼你的人，在某些方面能带出你最好的一面。他们能激发你的才能和技巧。当你周围的人都很优秀的时候，你不需要任何技巧来处理什么情况。只有当你认为有些人是不合情理时，你才需要发挥你的才能和技巧。所以，尽可能把它当做一种锻炼。当你内心深处开始接受的那一刻，你会突然发现对方也在改变。这很奇怪，但却是事实。当我们改变时，他们也会改变。
6. 静心练习
静心肯定会带给你克服愤怒所需要的力量，练习更多的调息法和更深入的静心。静心之后， 你会感到内在的平静和改变。静心给你内在带来了转变。记住，任何你做的静心都不会浪费的。
6 Wise Ways to Deal with Anger
Tue, 02/05/2017 Bangalore, India
If your anger is a tool and it is in your control, then anger is good. But if anger controls you then you are in trouble, and the cause is also gone. There is nothing wrong in using anger as a weapon, but if it is cutting your own peace of mind, then you should use wisdom to safeguard yourself.
Tips to Manage Anger:
Here is some perspective on how to skillfully free your mind from the clutches of anger, and experience a balanced state of mind.
#1 Give room for imperfection
The main cause of anger is that you want perfection. We get angry over imperfections, but the world does have levels of perfection. Give a little space for imperfection. When you give some space for imperfection, patience in you increases.
At home we keep a garbage can, isn't it? You cannot say, 'I won’t keep a garbage can at home'. Then there would be garbage all over the place. Anger is that garbage all over the house. When you give space for imperfection, you will put all the garbage in a can and let it be. Then you will see how you can manage your anger.
So exercise patience towards imperfections. It takes time for imperfection to become perfection. How can you give that time? When you give space for it. Then compassion arises and anger disappears.
#2 Balance between expressing and suppressing your anger
You can’t express anger all the time, you will cause so much damage to yourself and others around you. And you can’t suppress it all the time, sometimes you need to express it otherwise you will explode. So, you have to strike that right balance between expressing and suppressing your anger. Wisdom is knowing when to express it and when to suppress it.
#3 Don’t get angry with yourself for getting angry
It will take quite some time for you to get to that level where anger does not even touch you. It will keep coming in different shades and intensities. When anger comes up, don’t start blaming yourself. One thing that can be very detrimental is you blaming yourself. Keep moving ahead. If you get angry, never mind, just let it come and go. Instead of looking at the cause of anger, look at the effect it is producing in your body and keep relaxing your body.
#4 Keep good company (Sangha)
Whatever you cannot do alone, you can do it with the support of a good company. Company has many benefits and a few drawbacks too, as it can also take up a lot of your energy. The positive effect is that Sangha gives you that much-needed support to move forward. Whenever your mind goes topsy-turvy, or if your emotions are going up and down, at such times the Sangha will carry you forward. It will help you move through the situations.
#5 Accept people as they are
One of the principles of The Art of Living is: Accept people and situations as they are.
Accepting and creating room for others itself makes your personality much wider. If you don’t have that expanded consciousness then you become very rigid in your outlook.
People who irritate you, in some way or the other can bring about the best in you. They can bring out the talents and skills in you. See, when everyone around you is wonderful you don’t need any skill to handle a situation. It will only happen when there are people who you think are unreasonable. So, take it as an exercise as much as possible. The moment deep acceptance starts coming from within, you will suddenly find the other person also changes. It is strange but true. When we change, they also change.
#6 Practice meditation
Meditation will definitely provide you that much-needed strength to overcome anger. Practice more pranayama and go deeper into meditation. You will feel the serenity and the change in you after meditation. Meditation brings a transformation in you. Remember, any meditation that you do never goes waste.
