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今天是八周写作练习的第二周。我们除了继续上次的训练外,还会和大家一起讨论一个问题。在英文写作中,我们应该更多的使用短句子还是长句子。
这次的分享,我们先简短的讨论一下长句子短句子在英文写作中的使用。然后,我们会分享一下Zoe关于一段《勇敢的锡兵》文字的复述;也就是继续我们上周的写作练习。
所以如果你不想看关于英语长句子和短句子的使用建议,可以直接跳到文章末尾处,去看Zoe的文章复述分享。
写作该更多使用短句子还是长句子?
不知道大家在语言学习中有什么经历。回忆我自己在读书的时候,曾经特别喜欢造长句子。作为练习,我在造句的时候,总是用很多接词,而且能套多少从句就套多少从句。而且我还拿着我造的长句子,跑去给同学很快的念出来,当作虐心的听力练习。
当然,这么做也是出于语言训练的考量。但是在后面的继续学习中,我也慢慢开始体会到句子言简意赅的重要性。语言学习过程中,不同阶段的理解和需求总是在发生变化的。
关于句子长短的研究数据
曾经有人做过研究。据说一个英文句子中最好不要有超过25个词汇,而控制在大约10个到11个词汇的句子最让人读起来舒服。
根据另外一项研究的结果显示,在莎士比亚时期,一个句子平均包含45个词汇;到了150年前,句子的平均长度缩少到了平均29个词汇;而当代专家们写文章的时候,更是精简到了平均每句话只有15到18个词汇。
英文文章中短句子太多会怎样?
看到网络有评论说英文句子,越短越好。这样的结论可能武断了一点。过多的短句子会使得文章显得缺乏流畅感,从而影响阅读的感受和节奏。而在论文类的文章里,如果大部分句子过短,会显得作者对语言表的控制能力不是很强。
如果发现文章中短句子过多,可以根据想表达的意思,把短句子用连词,关系代词,链接副词组合起来。这里简单分享一些常用连词:
常用连词:
after, although, as, as if, as though, because, before, even if, even though, even so, if, if only, now that,
once, rather than, since, than, that, though, unless,
until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whereas, whether, which, while.
另外,连接句子也可以运用标点符号,我们可以使用逗号和分号。
举个例子:
I love to read. I would read at least several pages every day if I had the time.
可以修改为:
Because I love to read, I would read at least several pages every day if I had the time.
I love to read, and I would read at least several pages every day if I had the time.
I love to read; I would read at least several pages every day if I had the time.
太多长句子的文章容易看懂吗?
上面我们说过了太多短句子可能会给写作效果带来的问题,和解决的方法。但是如果文章中出现很多的长句子又会怎么样呢?
大量的过长的句子出现在文章中,无疑会增加阅读的难度;同时也更容易显得文章逻辑混乱。要记住,你写作是为了给人读的,所以哪怕你是想描述很复杂的情况,也应该力求简洁清晰的体现。
我看到的引起歧义的英文长句子,往往是主语和谓语动词之间加了太多的词语,让人读起来非常费劲。因为一个句子中最主要的是主语和谓语动词,其他都是修饰和限定的成分。这样说来,就算句子比较长,只要主语和谓语动词在句子中的位置交代的让人一目了然,也会比较容易避免歧义。
长句子短句子如何取舍呢?
那么问题来了,我们写作过程中到底应该多使用长句子还是短句子呢?其实这个和你的写作意图和风格是有紧密的关系的。
如果是写论文性质的文章,最好把句子的长度控制的居中一些,不要太长也不要太短。因为是论文性质的写作,可能想表达的意思稍微复杂些。但是因为不用像写小说那样加入大量的描写,相对来说更容易用简明的方式表述相对复杂的意思。
如果是创作类的写作,比如随笔,小说,评论文章等等,可能需要长短句结合的情况下,适当的控制长句子的字数。
我们以前和大家分享拓展句子练习的时候提到过,如果我们想详细的描述某种状态和某个事物的时候,我们会使用比较长的句子。这个时候要注意标点符号和连接词、转折词的用法。而当我们需要制造悬疑;强调某一点,吸引读者注意;或者做一个结论性的总结的时候,我们可以使用短句子营造一种节奏,氛围或表达一种结论性的语气。
需要消化练习的方面
你私下写作的练习,可以考虑根据故事情节的发展,在合适的地方使用长句子和短句子。
好了,那我们现在开始继续第一周的练习。第一周分享后,我们留给大家的练习,使用下面的原文节选作为参考,用自己的语言来文字复述一遍主要内容。
原文参考:
The soldiers tried to join in. But they were stuck in their box...except for the one legged soldier.
He had fallen behind a pile of toy building blocks. But he did not join in the games. He was gazing at the fairytale palace in the corner. It once belonged to Tom's sister. A paper ballerina doll stood in the doorway. The pretty ballerina was dancing on one leg. "She'd be a perfect wife for me," said the soldier.
Suddenly, the grumpy jack-in-the-box sprang out. "Keep your eyes to yourself!" The soldier ignored him. He smiled at the ballerina. She smiled back...
The jealous jack-in-the-box turned bright red. "Just wait!" he fumed.
The next morning, Tom found his missing soldier. He put him by the window. The cruel jack-in-the-box saw his chance. "Ha ha, so long soldier boy!" He took a deep breath, and blew as hard as he could. The tin soldier fell out of the window.
这次我们同样分享两个版本文字复述给大家参考:
第一篇复述文章:
While other toys were having fun and making a lot of noises, the tin soldier fought his way out from a pile of building blocks. He look around and saw a stunning ballerina. The tin soldier could not move his eyes away from her. There she was, quiet yet beautiful, dancing on one leg.
The tin soldier stared at the ballerina for such a long time that finally she noticed. The ballerina looked back at the tin soldier and smiled.
A jealous (envious) jack-in-the-box jumped in front of the tin soldier and angrily ordered him to stop looking at the ballerina. The tin soldier ignored him and smiled back to the ballerina. The jack-in-the-box felt offended and decided that he would seek revenge.
第二篇复述文章:
The Tin soldier had fallen into a pile of toy blocks. And that was when he saw the pretty ballerina made of paper who was dancing on an elegant stage. As for the most surprising part for him was that the ballerina was dancing on one leg. Romantic thoughts ran through his head as he said, “I would love for her to be my wife.”
"Spring tsk tsk”, went the noise of the Jack-in-the-Box, who always seemed to be grumpy ever since his owner had brought the Tin soldiers home. He felt extremely bothered by the one-legged-soldier as the soldier was watching the Ballerina doll dance. “STOP STARING AT HER!” The jack in the box exclaimed. All that he got was silence.
His face turned Bloody Red as his brows began to frown viciously when he saw the ballerina smiling back at the Soldier. “Karma will get you soon enough!”
Tom searched for his missing friend. Even the dumbest person in the world could tell that Tom was worried. A sudden feel of relief ran through Tom’s body as he found the missing soldier. Tom decided that the best place for him was on the windowsill, right beside the Jack-in-the-Box. After Tom left, the Jack-in-the-Box saw a chance to get the ballerina Doll to himself. ”BYE BYE Soldier, SEE YOU NEVER”!” as he pushed the soldier down and out of the open window.