Words:

1. She squinted, trying to distinguish white from off-white.

squint: to look at something with your eyes partly closed in order to see better

Anna squinted in the sudden bright sunlight.

My sentence:

My mom always ask me not to squint. That may make my small eyes smaller.

2. A sudden vision of her and Pam, whizzing around the roller rink, giddy and giggling, flashed through her mind.

whizz (BrE) = whiz (AmE): to move very quickly, often making a sound like something rushing through the air

An ambulance whizzed past.

My sentence:

An arrow whizzed past the edge of his ear.

roller rink = rink: an enclosure for roller skating

giddy: causing dizziness

3. Someone had etched a dime-sized FUCK YOU into the surface with a pushpin.

etch: to cut lines on a metal plate, piece of glass, stone etc to form a picture or words.

etch on 

a gravestone with three names etched on it.

The Chinese character, meaning "blessings" was etched on the jade that his grandparents gave him in the last birthday.

4. He wagged his fork at  her, with the air of a wise man delivering an aphorism.

wag:  to move your finger or head from side to side, especially to show disapproval.

'Your naughty girl!' Mom said, wagging her finger at me.

My sentence:

You must change your habit that you wag to say an aphorism. You don't mean to offend others but your action does.

aphorism = saying : a short phrase that contains a wise idea.

Expressions:

1. Hannah had planted herself under the end table in the foyer.

2. She'd flipped through some of the color plates and slammed the book and squirmed in her seat, as if she could not shake off the feeling like a dog shook rain off its fur. 

plate: （书中的整页）彩色插图

3. Nath flashed Lydia a tentative smile

4. James could not miss the edge of her voice, but he brushed it aside.

5. He was apologizing for giving her the silent treatment, for shutting the door in her face when all she wanted was not to be alone.

Summary:

Marilyn's life from 1966 to 1976:

Marilyn attended the Christmas party in 1966 and knew the opportunity to work for Tom Lawson. But she didn't do it considering James's suggestion. Marilyn's mother died of stroke in 1966, the spring. When Marilyn got home and found her mother leave nothing in the world but the cookbook. She didn't want to keep house for her family like her mother. She was thinking of change. Back at home in the morning, she cried for Nath's experience and drove to the local hospital. When she looked at Doctor Wholff, she made a decision to finish her physics with her mom's fortune. During the nine weeks, she studied hard to keep up with other students. But she also missed her family so much that she called them sometimes in the early morning to hear their voices. Nine weeks later, she found herself pregnant  and became sad about her dream. When she heard that Lydia threw away the cookbook, she thought her daughter as excellent as her and planed to exercise Lydia to be a doctor in the future.

James's efforts to train Nath and Lydia:

When Marilyn was away from home for her mother's funeral, James took Nath to the local pool and taught him how to swim. He hoped his son would become familiar with those kids in the pool and asked him to have a game with them regardless of Nath's refusal. Nath was tricked by other children. It reminded James' unpleasant experience when he was teased then. James was disappointed in Nath. While Marilyn disappeared, James locked himself in his office and his study and cared little about Lydia and Nath. James even shouted at Nath when Nath told him the astronauts and space. 

James thought Lydia would be the one circled by many American children like her mother. So he quizzed Lydia's friendship every night and even drove Lydia and friends out. He would walk gently in the room to hear Lydia's talk to her friends.

Nath, Lydia, Hannah lived differently in ten years.

Nath was much disappointed and sad when his father smocked him, his mother left him firstly and then ignored him later. But he found the miracle of space and wished he would one day fly to the space to get rid of those sorrow. Faced with the unfair treatment from his parents, he pushed Lydia into the lake but Lydia can't swim. But he also understood that Lydia's death would not make his parents love him and he loved his sister also. Nath accompanied  Lydia in the cafeteria, the bus and home. At the same time, he studied space earnestly and got the admission from Harvard. Since then, he lost his patience to make response to Lydia's sad emotion. 

Lydia made a promise that she were willing to do whatever her mother asked as long as her mother came home. She has kept her words since her mother did come home. She was five years old at that time. But she asked her mother to teach mathematics, skeletons, chemistry. Instead of playing with other kids, she came home directly after school to see her mother. She called her classmates to make her father happy about her friendship, but she can say nothing but boring subjects. She was not interested on physics and did worse and worse in exams. She was taught by Marilyn three days in Christmas break. She received Nath's letter from Harvard but tore it into pieces. She was afraid that Nath would leave her alone. She got in touch with Jack because she thought Nath disliked Jack.

Hannah was an unexpected child and was ignored by her parents and brother and sister. She seemed to know her existence. She was quiet since she was born. She almost never cried when she was a baby. She hided herself in the shadow of the corner and lived in the deserted attic. She was shooed away by her Mom, Dad, Nath and Lydia. She was afraid to touch them, to talk to them. She lived like a shadow and was forgot by everyone.

所思所想

第四章到第七章，讲述了Lee一家经历的第一个变故，Marilyn的出走。因为妈妈的离开，Lydia做出了对妈妈唯命是从的决定，Nath找到了对宇航的热爱，Marilyn和James相互间的爱，在日渐消磨。Lydia承受着自己不能承受的，Nath是她唯一能够喘气的地方，但是Nath已经迫不及待地要离开，以往的安慰变成了紧闭的房门。圣诞节，她再次收到了父母对他满怀期待的礼物，医学和朋友。都是她做不到的。面对Nath的镜头，她连扯动嘴角的假笑都不能做出。是为了让Nath生气而接近Jack，还是因为Jack的自由而一步步靠近？在家中，Lydia连呼吸都是紧张的，她在Jack处得到了什么“领悟”？距离她的离世，只有三个月了。

看着看着，我在想，他们都是在拼命地抓住一个东西，认可。Marilyn被母亲和男性主导社会的认可，James被主流社会白人的认可，Lydia和Nath被爸爸妈妈的认可（Lydia努力学习医学和交朋友，Nath申请哈佛大学），Hannah一次一次在角落里在内心里对哥哥姐姐的支持，一次一次小心翼翼地靠近。用力过度而不用心，他们以外在形式的“成功”掩饰着内在的空无。一切都在Lydia的去世之后，破碎了。

这周刚好看到一部电影《革命之路》，是小李子和凯特的第二次合作。看的时候就想到正在看的《无声告白》。一见钟情，因孩子而结婚，关于理想的追求和放弃。April和Marilyn的不同选择，却是两个悲剧。

学习：

看了这本书十天，收获的不仅仅是这个故事和英语，更多的是群里每一位读者分享的笔记和交流的思想。将一个故事从十几个角度理解，是大学阅读课上的事；精心编辑和整理所看的所学的，是一学期一次的展示。而这里，每天都在做这件事。看到更好的，虚心学习，每天进步。而只有自己每天输入和输出，才知道其中的收获。参加了几期，之前的旁观学习和现在的对比学习，最大的差距是自己对时间的掌控。今天早上九点的火车，为了写好这篇文章，我从上车开始到现在，（12:36）一直在写着。而我的周边是《奇葩说》、某部抗战剧以及音乐的混杂声。以往，我觉得外出坐车就浪费了一天时间，现在是只要不是工作和必要的交际，其他的时间都是我自己的，我读书和写笔记是让我喜欢的事情，就这么做就好了。写得啰嗦和长了，正在精进中。